The Phil Harris: A Movie For Alice

The F.W. Fish Company makers of those fine fish products resent the new fish bandwagon starring Al Fae You never know the format I love you You never know the format I think

Don't come with me to Alabama Let's go see my dear old mannequie Brian Akes and Trolin' Hammy That sugar cured Hammy That red, vivid, heavy, and that's what I like about the song. As we join Phil and Alice now, it's morning at the Harris residence.

And like many a mother, Alice is busy in the nursery, getting her little family ready for the day. Now, still, baby, while I call me Pink Star, then, my, you have beautiful hair. And it's so much wavier since I've been putting it up in bobby pins every night.

Tommy. Yes, honey. Can you do my hand now? You've been an uptime on Daddy. Look, kid, when you start bringing home some cabbage, we'll concentrate on you. So now you ain't made a bit. For Daddy, Mommy didn't spend all that time on her here, and she's much prettier than you are.

That's a lie, and you know it. Still, my daddy, baby Alice. But when he got up this morning, he was a little GRO-U-P-A-Y. But my, what makes you think- You two cut that out. I'm gonna have something to say let me in on it.

I'm no head fan of this house. No, no, no. Don't be so touchy. What do you mean, Puchy? The last time you started spelling things, some doctor put me out of the room and we had baby Phyllis.

That's ridiculous. Alex, why don't you go out and play with Phyllis? You are here later. Yeah, goodbye, baby, Alex. Still my hat, Jack. Oh, Bill, are you wearing that coat today? What if you wear your sport coat?

Oh, honey. That's too long. Bill, it's not too long. Please wear it. What, and hide my yellow shoes? Stop waiting. Hey, what are you all dressed up for? Oh, I thought I might take a run over the 20th century talk.

They called me up yesterday. Well, it's all yeah, Pa. Look, kid, you don't want to make another picture. Well, I'm not saying I do, but you can't expect me to ignore them over at the studio.

After all, they do have me under contract. Under contract? Under contract? I've been under contract for years with Jackson, and they don't mean nothing. Break the contract. Well, all right. But if I do, they'll stop sending those texts every month.

Oh, well that's different, put on your track shoot and get on over this. These are catfish. But Alice, if you make another picture, who's gonna take care of the house? And what about the kid?

Oh, that's alright, this will take care of everything. I know, honey, but who's gonna do my hair? Good morning, Sissy. How about some breakfast for the sweetest little musician this side of Lombardo? You're calling Mr. Harry, you sit right down there now, It's just something real now.

Well, lucky honey. Hey, Dizzy. You always get up this early. Mr. Harris, I don't call this early. Why, when I was a girl back home, my father got up every morning at five-30 and brought in a big load of wood for the soul.

Yeah, well, about that time my old man would come in with a pretty big load of self. How do you expect it about Mr. Harris going for the studio this morning? Excited 50 years. I'm so excited.

I've just overcome with emotion. Oh, you know, but, Derek, I've always enjoyed our say so much in pictures. Why, you two walker in those love scenes with high-roamed power, and I'd say to myself, wouldn't it be wonderful if that sweet little girl would marry some nice, clean, cuck-young fellow like that?

That's what you said to yourself, huh? Oh, many times. Look, so you keep putting out drive like that, and you'll be visiting the employment agencies with Will Rogers Jr. I said, Harry, I didn't need a tap-way.

When I was a girl, you've done my idea of a real man. I'm trying to make up what this is that you've read, so your coffee's bad too. I bet you still have plenty of dates on your day also, don't you?

Oh, don't be silly, Mr. Harris. As the girl gets past 40, she transfers her affection from men to slow-linnemants. How about that with a couple of coffee? No, it's easy. I don't have the time. I gotta get out of rehearsal.

Bye now. Bye. Bye. That's what I'm talking about, fellas. Now you're getting it. That was alright. You know, some of you are playing much better since you started soaking your recent dad's old fashioned root beer.

I'm doing all right now. Keep it up. Now let's grab this next one here and really put it over. Wait a minute. What's the matter with you, Artie? What do you mean, Mel? Well, you ain't said nothing. Don't you have to drive your mother-in-law someplace?

I thought what it's saying. I'm on it. Go last week. Well, what are you doing this week? Wait, you want to tie to come in. Wait for the tie to come in. Yeah, and if you don't come in with it, I'm sitting pretty.

Oh, what? I said back there, Artie, let's take this number. You ready, fellas? Take it from me. One, two. Way down among Brazilian coffee beans drove by the billion, so they've got to find those extra cups of fill.

They've got an awful lot of coffee in Brazil. You can't get carried so that it's all the hands away things look like it. They never will. They've got a million of the coffee in Brazil.

No tea. Or tomato juice. You will see ladders down in San Jose. No, no, no. A politician thought there was a juice of drinking water and was fine. The great big big big big big.

They've got an awful lot of coffee in Brazil. You get a date and when you get her, she smells like a percolator. Her perfume was made right on the grill. Why they could percolate a notion in Brazil.

When their ham and eggs eat savor, coffee ketchup is their flavor, coffee pickled way out, sell the dill. Who they put coffee in their coffee in Brazil. No tea. Or tomato juice, you'll see. No golden venom juice.

Caught the platters down in Santa Claus. No, no, no, no. So you led to the local color serving coffee with a crawler. Don't he doesn't take a lot of skills? They've got an awful lot of coffee in Brazil.

So when it pulls red, have the candy tas, drink it steamy, and creamy or black, Jack, there's an awful lot of coffee in France. Ladies for top to toe beauty, start at the top with your hair.

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Ah! What's dangerous times, Colin? Yes.

Are you all at space? Yeah. A big moving picture star? Well, yeah. Are you the Alice Fade was married to Phil Harris? Yes, I'm married to Phil Harris. You're lucky, you're of you. Oh! He's married to you!

You're married to me! You're married to me! Hey, uh, how'd you make out the studio? Well, honey, they have a wonderful story they'd like me to do. Yeah? What part does Donna Meachie play? Well, no, Donna isn't with him anymore.

No, that's gratitude for you. He invents the telephone for them and then when things get tough they throw them out. Well, you know that's not true. Alright, so it's not true. Well, are you going to make the picture, aren't you?

Oh, I don't know, Phil. They're sending George Markham, the producer out to the house this afternoon to talk it over. Alright, alright. I got him to get the outfit. When I want to know it's why are they after you?

Well, they must think I'm still good box office. Yeah, I thought they replaced you with Thunderhead, son of Flickha. Alice, no wonder why she hung up. Well, it's working over my life. Late, starting your year late and rehearsals over.

Where you been anyway? Well, I had to get down and caught this one. Oh, I got a ticket last night for parking at the curb. What do you mean you ain't got no car? No, I was just laying there.

I'm a little cranky for the last time. Lay off of them tired jokes this morning. Okay, Charlie. What's the matter? You look worried. I got a right to be worried. Now what you're talking about making another picture?

No kidding? Yeah, and she's got one of them producer guides 20th century coming over to the house is that the known you don't clearly think you've been married a lot I think a lot of pictures something bothering me yeah, what is it how do you feel about her kitchen and where that from

how do I feel about it look at how would you feel if someone came home one night you found them water in your burp a horrible reading Joe. Let's try them. If he's making another picture, how come you wait a minute?

Oh, me? Yeah. Now it's a crime kid. You're right. Besides, all in marriage, people act together. Look at Lawrence Olivier and Sivian Lee. And that other couple, Lumb and Abner. Frankie, they're not married. Yeah, yeah, I forgot.

Assistant. But you get the idea. Play it smart, kid. Get Alice to work in there. I don't know nothing about that acting racket. Say it, kid. You didn't know nothing about music and that never held you back.

Yeah, yeah, I guess you're right. Look, Curly. You're getting one picture that'll make you. Boy, I can see it now. Alice, play supported by Bill Harris. You know you, spiky, your old lady, You're old ladies had that same dream for years.

I'm feeling nothing to it. Just like all them foreign actors who come over here. That's all a little Shakespeare around in your end. Huh? Yeah. See, Hollywood producers always go for that monkey from the legitimate theatre.

Yeah, but wait a minute. Who Shakespeare? That's the name. You know, the famous beard of Avon. Oh, yeah, Bonnie Woolley. No, no, no. Shakespeare was a writer. You ought to stuff like a lad. Who are you, Eric?

I know him well. Yeah. Who's the guy you're in? Well, he wasn't exactly a guy. He was a skull. No. The plot was played on the stage by John Carrey. Oh, yeah. Yeah, but are you sure that they go for them?

They're very enacted, they're ambitious. Oh, what do you mean that they go for Shakespeare? at last weekend. Oh yeah. I love that one. Yeah, they're going to make another picture. Well, Phyllis, I might. What part is Mr. and Lisa going to come in?

Oh, oh, he won't be in it, honey. I thought he doesn't need the money anyway. What makes you say that? Well, Mr. LaVey is going to have lots of money. He's getting pointed by his mommy of her coals and his daddy of brand new house.

What, her niece? She's only six years old. Where would it get all that money? She told me she was going to show her city car to madman my. Oh, baby, he was just fooling you.

Is that his mommy? Oh, it's a song I get in a picture one. Is it a city song? Well, it's a favorite of mine. If you like it. You'll never know, just how much I love you.

You'll never know, just how much I can. If I try, I still couldn't have what I told you to. No, my old, I'd be working on the pear tree. You know what that is, the pair is a banana with its gourd a lo.

The matter was good. I got to use that. Say, listen, you've got a lot of books up in your room. Haven't you, Louis? Oh, yes, my son, Louis, he lived in a world of food.

You know, when he wants to enjoy beautiful food, he has a little poet. And when he wants to be in the far place of the earth, he'll have a little travel book for that. Yeah.

Hey, Luigi. How about Luigi? He wants to have a little date sometime. Yeah. He wants to have a little black book for that. I know what you mean. Mine went up in flames five years ago.

Oh, I think Lisa Todd has made you burn. Well, the case is spontaneous compaction. It was loaded, Luigi. Hey, listen, in those books that you're... You haven't had any up there by a guy named Shakespeare.

Oh, yes, my wife. All this was. What beautiful books. They are rolls of rucko balls. I don't care where they're going. Can I borrow something? Sure, Miss Arles. If you come up to my room, you can't be gone.

Well, I will. What is this, you think? Mr. Mark, I'm from the studio here in the studio. Oh, yes. Come on in, George. I'm in here. Oh, hello, Alice. Gosh, it's good to see you again.

You're looking great. Thanks, George. I'm sorry I missed you over at the studio this morning. Well, we often talk about you over there, Alice. Why, they've almost forgiven you for marrying Bill Harry. I knew they were someday.

Well, we don't want to work too out, but I bought a copy of the story law. Well, George, I haven't exactly made up my mind yet about making another cookie. You know, my family could have this thing.

Yes, yes. Oh, by the way, Alice, we've been friends a long time. I wonder if you mind a personal question. No, George, what is this? Well, is it really true that he makes you curly hair?

Oh, George, I don't know where people get the wild ideas about Phil. Absolutely. He is quite a character on the Jack Benny program. Yes, but really, George, he's not that way at all when you get to know him.

Yeah. Well. Alex I think the story fits like a glove. I was looking at high power to play the lead and do a rewrite on the air. I was. I'll come on in here. I want you to be somebody.

You know George Markham from 20th century. Glad to see you Bill. A lot for your. I know him. Well. Excuse me. Hard. The gentle music stop. The golden loot is heard no more. Can this be fate?

No. It is put thriller. And hold it to the square root with the union. Wait a minute, Phil. I'm afraid I don't quite understand. Well, don't let it throw you a docket. The little guy by picked up in the illegitimate theater.

Well, now, what is this? No, I'm still... Now, let me do the talk, my kid. I'll look here, Doc. Here's the way I got it figured out. You team up me and Alice in this turkey, and before you know it, you'll have a common combination bigger than Lawrence Liver and Vivian Lehigh. Do I understand that you

want to be in this picture? Why not? Harris is right. That's becoming increasingly apparent. I'm sorry, I think maybe you better talk to us over another time. Yes, yes, Alex. You look over the story in our coordinator in the week. Goodbye. We'll tell the gong. It is not yet near day. It was the

I can gail and not the largest deers. The Sirful, follow a dine, dear. Oh, Phil Harris, no. Oh, no, what's so fun? What's so funny? What's so funny? It was the nightingale and not the dog. Oh, what a performance.

Yeah, well, when you started out you were no Sarah Barnhart. Well, maybe not, but the first part I ever had on the stage, I read lines better than that. Some lines you had. Before you went on, you stated the manager. Put another patch on the table.

on my bubble, Herman, we've got a wild house tonight. You know, I was never a bubble fan. All right, I don't know. Never mind that nonsense. I did pretty well in picture. How could you miss all you ever did was to come out in 12 petticoats, kick your leg a couple of times an hour.

Hello, up rich gal, hello, that's the only way to do it here. Hello. Don't say frick go, hello, San Francisco. I love them up there and they love me up there. Hello, San Francisco. Anyway, before we were married, you used to see all my pictures five or six times.

Well, firstly, I did. I didn't want you to see them all by yourself. So, you make me go along the reach of the title. Well, I got a right to know what's going on. Well, anyway, I wish I had tried to be smart in front of George Markham.

George Markham, George Markham. Is he a genius or something? Well, he's held an important job over there for a good many years, and he'll be there for a good many more. Yeah, well, don't count on it, sister. A lot of other guys thought the same thing until last Tuesday.

Another couple of coffees, did that at all? What is it, Gregory? Talk. I don't know. It all depends on what you put the coffee. Listen. All right, so you're riveting me. Look, you can't blame a guy for trial.

Well, you're bad at those silly doing, Shakespeare. The way you came in and started to tell us, oh hello there. You know what? They all, he's right here, just a minute. Hey, what's the view?

It's George Merckham. For me? Yes, and he says it's important. So I looked kind of silly doing Shakespeare, did I? Look how he harries to say, you get high, Kalinsister, you can't. Oh, I'll be known as pretty boy-harris-perviro.

That thy robe, thou, or give him a block. Look, watch me handle this guy. Hello, he am filthy, speaking. Hello, Phil. When I'm out at your house this afternoon, I'm afraid I overlook something. Yeah, yes, yes. I sort of figured the same thing.

I have a little job for you, Phil. Oh, oh, you do. I suppose so. Yes, yes. When I was over there this afternoon, I left my ghosting red lighter. Would you mind dropping it at my office in the morning?

Oh! Allison Phil will be back in just a moment. If you want the truth, go to a child as a popular expression. But if you have unsightly damper, and want to know the truth about it, just go to your mirror.

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Bitches, Bells, F-I-C-A. What is it, baby, Alice? I'm fizzing. Well, the way you went to know, you can have a fake beard look fast. Can't you see the daddy still using them? Oh, hell. Give the book back to Luigi.

You can color pictures in something else. In next week, when the F.W. Pitch Company again brings you the big fan wagon with Alice Bay and Phil Harris. This program is written by Joe Connolly and Bob Moger, directed by Paul Phillips, with original music composed and conducted by Walter Sharp, included in the cast were Janine Ruth

and Anne Whitfield. Now let's stay up here to the courtesy of 20th Century Five. After a long while, and a song to your side, you'll fit your hair, you'll fit your hair. After in between, fit shampoo.

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