Rocky Fortune: The Shipboard Jewel Robbery

Frank Sinatra transcribed as Rocky Fortune. NBC presents Frank Sinatra, starring as the footloose and fancy-free young gentleman, Rocky Fortune. You know, sometimes my friends ask me, Rocky, why can't you hold a job?

That's a good question. I don't know the answer. Maybe I just get restless or something. Anyway, whatever it is, me and steady employment don't get along. Now you take the last job I had, stew it on a big luxury line from Bermuda to New York.

I figured I'd like to see the ocean, you know? And a couple of guys were trying to help me too. Only they wanted me to see it the hard way from the bottom. Pardon me Miss Nightingale, this is sick bayonin'.

Yes, something wrong? My heart is going fit a pat. I dig your bun. Nothing blue eyes. I'm the steward from A-deck. I came for the pills. Pills? The German mean for Lady Jupe Snoot. You know, the Duchess and A-70.

Oh, you mean Lady Harkness. Yeah, anything you say. Oh, you'll have to wait a moment for Dr. Harper. You'll be back. Mmm, that's too bad. Is something wrong, Mr.... Fortune. Rocky Fortune. No, why? Oh, you keep staring and winking.

Oh, I, uh, just got stuck in my eye. I'm just trying to wink it out. You better let me take a look. Yeah. Oh, it just stood down there in the light. How's this? And I'll lean closer.

Mmm, like this? A little closer. Is this making? That's too close. Now which eye is bothering you? Right now both. Try the left one. Open wide. Ahhh! Your eyes I mean. Oh. Don't be fresh.

Oh, please, oh, beautiful. Well, I don't see a thing. I do. Please, Mr. Frodo, you're not cooperating. I don't even know your name. My name is Helen Trappers, R.N. For real nice? For registered nurse.

Now, about the idea, mind if I wash it out? How do you can do anything you want? We'd like to take out my tonsils to saw me in half. Anything, just name it. You're impossible. Oh, still.

There. Ow. That's for being so fresh. Something wrong, Mr. Chairman? Oh, hello, Doctor. The steward would like some dramany. Oh, C.C.? You don't look well. Hmm. I haven't looked well since I was nine. It's for a passage, you're in A7. A7.

That's Lady Harkness, isn't it? That's right. I'm afraid I can't give you any more. What's wrong, Doc? The Chief Stood was up less than an hour ago to get some drama-meant for Lady Harkness. Stuff isn't candy, you know.

The Chief, he just sent me up. It must be some confusion here. I think you better check. All right, Doc. Sorry. Not at all. It was a pleasure. I hope your eye improved. Yeah, the wash seemed to help it a little bit.

Say, maybe I could come back later on for another eye-fall. I'm afraid my boyfriend wouldn't approve. Anybody I know? Yes. Yes, the chief steward. Goodbye, Mr. Fortune. I walk out on deck still thinking about Helen's savage RN, which stands for registered knockout, and leg it down to A-deck.

I get my hand on the doorknob of A7 when I hear something which ain't exactly music. But, Lady Harkness! Lady Harkness! Open up! Open up! When nothing happens, I put my shoulder against the doorknob and heave.

When nothing happens, I try the knob, and it opens. I practically fall under the cabin, which is dark in the inside of a coal-miners boot. The reason I fall is quite simple. Lady Harkness is stretched out on the broad loom like a dead lizard.

I take one look and reach for the phone. Give me the ship's doctor, honey, hurry. Hello, Doc, this is Rocky Fortune. I'm in cabin A7 and the place looks like Act II of Osmek and Ole's.

You better get down here before. Oop! Whatever it is that's been hiding behind the door when I come in. I never know what hits me. The top of my head exploded and the floor kept coming up to meet me.

Only it took a long time to fall and I must have had some crazy dreams on the way down. What? Up here! On this cloud! Well, Helen, how'd you get away up there? Are you kidding?

Holy mackerel, I got wings! I can't make it. Maybe I've been grounded. Try again! I'm off the ground! Hey! Hey, I'm falling! Helen! Helen, I'm falling! Helen! I'm falling! Helen, take it easy, Rocky! I can't fly.

Who can? Come on, snap out of there. I... Where am I? In sick bay. What happened? My arm. Your arm is in a cast. How come? You must have fallen and sprained it. Dr. Harper told me to put a temporary cast on it, just in case it's badly hurt.

He feels like lead. What hit me? I don't know. We found you stretched out on the floor of Lady Hartner's cabin. Well, how's the patient? Say you look awful. We've been through that already. How do you feel?

I'm hurt. Not bad. Man, let's have a look. Well, it's a nice job, Mr. Travis. Thank you, Dr. Oh, fortune, if you can make it, the captain would like to see you. What's on his mind?

Well, I don't know if we're sure, Mr. Fortune, but I guess it's the $50,000 worth of jewelry that was stolen from Lady Harkins. I staggered down at the old man's cabin feeling like somebody left me in one of those fancy washing machines with a dial set on Rince Dry.

When I get there, the reception committee included Lady Harkness, who is about 60, wears a tweed suit and talks like an English Tallulah. The chief steward, who looks like a clothing dummy, and the old man, 350 pounds of human meanness.

Close the door, Stewart. Hi. I believe you know Lady Harkness. Hi, I. And the six, Stewart. We've had the pleasure. Sir! Thank you. Thank you, sir. Thank you. like you. Is this the man you saw, Lady Harkett?

Young man, would you mind bending over? Me? You! What to it? Okay, well, what for? When you see it's dark and I've been asleep. When I opened my eyes, I only saw this strange man be know to me.

I screamed and he put a pillow or something over my face before I could get a good look at him. Is this the man? Well, it might be, Captain. All right, Fotam. Wake it up.

Do you mind if I sit on captain? I've had a hard tap on the skull. You will remain standing in the presence of a ship officer. Thanks. No Insurance excuse it. Now would you mind telling me what this is all about?

What's wrong? There is $50,000 worth of jewelry missing from this cabin. I don't suppose you'd like to confess Confess sure. I've been waiting all night to confess. You see it was like this. Yes, Mr Yes, sir. I crept in through the porthole, see? And Lady Harknessy was asleep. I Scragged the ice. I beg your pardon. Heisted the jewels. She started to wake up so I smothered

her with kisses. Then she screamed. I saw I couldn't escape, so I called the dock on the phone. Then I carefully swallowed the jewels, hit myself on the head with a piece of stale salami, broke my own arm, and passed out. And I'd be very happy to sign a statement.

That's screamingly funny, old boy. How'd you like a punch in the jaw? Just try it, Hercules. That's enough from both of you. Mr. Waters. Sir. I want Mr. Porton's belongings. Sir. If you don't turn up those jewels, you have my permission to comb the entire ship from Stemby's turn.

Yes, sir. Mr. Porton, you may consider yourself discharged. You are confined to Croom Porton. Just a minute, Captain Bly. Well? Don't you think this amateur gumshoe work ought to be left to the law? Mr. Porton, in case you are not familiar with the maritime code, on this vessel, I am the Lord.

I execute a very unflattering salute with my good wing and stagger back to my bunker I fall into the sack like a dead man. Only trouble is I can't sleep. My headaches, my arm aches, and my heart aches. About 1 a.m. after 3 hours of whirling like a drunken dervish I climb out of the hammock and head to sick bay figuring I

could pick up some sleeping pills. I get to the sick bay door just in time to hear voices inside. Don't try to give me that. I tell you it's true. I'll tell you you're a liar.

No, but he's going to double-cross me. I want to trip you to enough my own girl. You've got to believe me. I'll give you one more chance to tell me the truth. But I told you. All right, baby. You want to play a rush? Now? Okay. Good evening. Am I interrupting something?

for two years you know only post-says and a polite to hit a young lady unless she built you first you are right mister of it please rocky do what you said anything you say only before i go to you rocky and i suppose they'll hang me for mutiny now how well it was worth it

back to my patent spend a few more restless hours trying to figure out what goes between larry the steward and Helen travins In the morning I wake up and head back to sick bay for a check up on the arm.

How's it feel? Hurts. I think I'd better x-ray in case it's a green twig fraction instead of spring. Does that mean you take the cast off? No, no. The x-ray right through the cast. I hate to spoil Mr. Travis beautiful work. Her beautiful work weighs about a ton.

How long I wear it Doc? Let you know after the x-rays. Just step over here please. Place your arm right here. That's fine. You just hold that in. This whole study. Can you wait here, I'll go into the dark room and develop it.

Say, Doc, is Miss Travis in this morning? No. No, she said you didn't feel well. What a bad night, I expect. I expect she did. This will only take a minute or two. Just make yourself comfortable.

I sit down and slop my way through a couple of issues of national geographic while the Doc steps into the dark room. After a little while, I have a visitor. Oh, it's you. Come on in, Chief.

Looking for a little medical aid. I'm looking for Helen. Oh, that's a lovely mouse you got under your eyes. You bump into a door? Very funny. Have a seat, the docks in the closet developing some x-rays.

Is she here? Haven't seen her. Say they find the missing jewels yet? You know, Donwell they haven't found them. Did you look in a captain's cabin? You know, I don't trust him. He's a sneaky character.

Fortune, when we get into New York tomorrow, the police are going to have a little talk with you. And frankly, I wouldn't want to be in your shoes. Chief, I'm going to level with you.

If you were in my shoes, I'd throw them away. Ah! What's that? It came from the dark room. Try that door there. Ah. Locked. There's another door that leads to the office. Come on! Here!

Helen! Dark! Smokes! Stone dead. Do I do? I do. Take it easy, baby. You can't do any good now. What happened? I don't know. I came in late. I wasn't feeling too good. I remember that he wanted me to change the develop.

Big solution because... Because he would think the X-ray Rockies are. So I went right into the dark room. First I thought I was alone. He was so dark. And then I saw him. I saw him on the floor with his scissors and he's back.

I'll take it easy honey. Come on chief, you better notify the skipper. I also better radio the New York Harbor Police to meet us. While the Chief Stewart goes over to phone the old man, it suddenly occurs to me that I'd better have a couple of ready answers.

I go back in the little dark room to take another look at Dr. Harper and snoop a little. This one I think I've stuck all the skipper barges in. Porto-n! Yeah? I don't want anything tucked.

Just window shopping skipper. You were under arrest. What's the charge, or don't you need one? The charge is murder. Now look, Captain. You will be based under guard in the foreadvisor until the police board ship.

Just what makes you think I slipped it to Dr. Harper? You were alone with him when the chief steward arrived. He was in the dark room. You had plenty of time to kill him and go back to the examining room.

And you'll have plenty of time to pay for it, too. The rest of your life, I predict, Mr. Fortune. I got news for you, Skipper. As a fortune teller, you got a crack in your crystal ball.

The lazzaret is a small iron box down in the hole of the ship, just big enough for me, a couple of mice, and a few hundred feet of anchor chains. A couple of deckhands take turns guarding me, which consists of sleeping on a little cart just outside the bouquet door.

I get three square glasses of water a day, and all the bread that me and the mice can eat. I am not happy. On your feet, Mr. Fortune. Well, well. And what do I owe this pleasure?

of the fact that I want to talk to you. Is that gun just a conversation piece or do you always carry it? The captain authorized your guard to carry sidearms. I'm your guard for the next watch.

Just the two of us? Just the two of us. How cozy. Get back against the wall and keep those hands above your head. Anything you say, Larry? I'm interested in what you say, Mr. Fortune.

Concerning what? Concerning what happened to those jewels. How should I know? I say you've got them. You've been smoking pomemin. I'll give you one more chance to start talking. And if I don't... the gun at you. Wait a minute, Buster, that's homicide, remember?

I can always say you tried to jump me. I don't get this. Is there a reward or are you interested in those duels for personal reasons? Just start talking. Okay, I'll talk. And make it good. I'll make it as good as I can. Is this good enough? I had my hands up in the

air and I brought the arm with a cast down on the top of the skull as hard as I could. He went out like a wet candle and I cracked the plastic cast right down the middle. I We're still trying to figure out my next move when I discovered we were not alone.

Put up your hand! Sure, it's getting to be a permanent position. Hand me that gun! Help yourself. Robbery, murder, assaulting a ship's officer. You know Fortune Wheel can make trouble for you. I suspected as much.

You could save yourself some heartache by confessing where you hid the Jewels. Why not you ask the guy who heist to them? I suppose you can identify him. You're Chief Stewart, sir. That's an interesting bit of information.

Can you prove it? No. All right, Mr. Porton. Back in the lassarette. Will you listen to what I have to say at least? Save it for the homicide boys. They'll be coming aboard when we reach quarantine in the morning.

So I am back in the Bastille with my rodent companions. I spend the rest of the night trying to imagine what it's going to feel like when they sit me down in a sink-sink chippin' there with wiring by Khan Edison.

Trouble? You'll excuse the cliche, but it shouldn't happen to two dogs, because one dog couldn't handle it all. Along about daybreak, I'm nervously peeling pieces of plaster off my arm when I get the shock of my life.

But before I can recover, somebody arrives. All right, Fortune, on your feet. I've been on him all night. Let's go. The police cut us to be here in 15 minutes. Now look, Captain, before the John Dom start working me over, I think I can crack this case.

Ah, ah. I'm serious. I can chop the Doc's murder in just 10 minutes. Will you listen to me? No. Well, can I at least get some medical attention? What for? This cast is falling off, and I'd hate to appear in a police line up with a crummy cast.

Might look like you twisted my arm. I'm not an unduly cruel man, for two? We'll let the nurse take a look at it. That a boy, Captain. I knew that underneath that rough exterior that beats a heart of solid stone.

Ten minutes later I am in the sick bay feeling like an oyster which has just escaped from six months in an undersized shell and is about to be eaten alive. Rocky, I was so worried about you.

Hi baby. When the captain told me you'd broken the cast on Larry's head. How is he? He's sleeping it off in the captain's cabin. Let's get that new cast on your own. How about a new arm while you're at it?

Let's get the old one off. The arm of the cast. Hey, take it easy. This won't hurt. Here I'll just tap it a few times with this mallet. There. What's the matter, honey? It's matter? Oh, nothing.

Don't kid me, baby. You look like you just shot six holes in the high eighties. There's nothing wrong with that. Suppose I tell you what's wrong. All right. The jewels are missing. What jewels? The lady-harkness loot.

The jewels you mixed into the plaster for the cast of my own. You're crazy. I'm crazy like King Solomon. You and Larry boy hice to those jewels. Larry did the muscle work and conked me when I came into the cabin at the wrong moment.

Then he got scared and passed the jewels to you. But you knew that they'd searched the ship, so you put them into that plastic cast on my arm. Figuring you'd get them back after the ship made port and we were all assured.

That's why you were so nice and sweet to me. I was worth plenty to you. You've got it all figured out, haven't you? All figured out. I even figured out why you knocked off the good doctor.

Tell me, I'd be interested to know. You didn't plan on us taking any x-rays of my arm in the cast. And you knew the x-rays would show those jewels, and they would fix your cute little wagon, but good.

So you knocked him off and ruined the plates. I noticed the room plates in the dark room. Finish? I ran out of gas. You can save your breath and just put up your hands. Hmm, you too?

I'm gonna need a special game order, this keeps up. Get over there against the wall. My favorite position. All right? Where are they? Where are which? The jewels you took out of the plaster cast.

That's an interesting question. I'll give you just five seconds to provide an interesting answer. I don't hear you, baby. One? I can always say you tried to escape. Such a pretty girl, too. Two. I'm ready to pull this trigger rocket.

Young intended. Three. I mean it. Two young to have to die. Four. In the electric chair. All right. Five. Hold it. Forever. Yes. Oh, go. Why you're telling me this? You okay, Pothom? Okay, Skipper.

Except for a slight heart attack. You heard what she said? I was listening to the Pothom. So what kept you? Well, I just wanted to give her enough rope to hang herself. You nearly gave her enough to include me.

Oh, sorry. You know, I must apologize, Pothom. Until you showed me how the jewels had been hidden in your cast, I really didn't believe a word you said. Yeah, forget it. I got a dishonest face.

Well, naturally, if there's anything I can do to make up for it now. Just one thing, Skipper, about my job. You remember how you threatened to fire me? Yes. Well, fire went ready, griddly, because if you don't, I quit.

Tonight, NBC Radio has presented transcribed Frank Sinatra as that footloose and fancy-free young man known as Rocky Fortune. Others in the cast included Tony Barrett, Lynn Allen, Marvin Miller, Norma Varden, and Chef Meghan. Tonight's script was written by George Lefferts and Andrew C. Love directed, Eddie King speaking. Now to tell you about next week's adventure here's

Frank Sinatra as Rocky Fortune. Sometimes I don't know what this younger generation is coming to. Do I have a tell you about the 10-year-old power boys who held up the stagecoats with a water pistol and got away with 50 grams? Of course I I thought the kid was only kidding.

What if the man in a hot seat said, Brother was I in for a shock? I'll tell you about it next week. See you around. Next week then, tune in again when Frank Sinatra returns as Rocky Fortune.

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