New Adventures of Nero Wolfe: Dear Dead Lady

Stay tuned for Nero Wolf. This Sunday marks the premiere of The Big Show on NBC. Not just any big show, it's The Big Show. NBC's hour and a half of comedy, music, and drama. The Best of Each.

The Big Show will be heard every Sunday afternoon over most of these stations, with Talulah Bankhead as mistress of ceremonies. Your stars for this Sunday's broadcast include Jimmy Dorati, Fred Allen, Ethel Merman, Frankie Lain, Mindy Carson, Meredith Wilson, Danny Thomas, and hosts of others. All this and to Lula too. No wonder it's the big show. My boss is the smartest and the stubbornest, the

fattest and the laziest, the cleverest and the craziest, the most extravagant detective in the world, Nero Wolfe. It's the adventure of the case of the dear dead lady, with that brilliant eccentric private detective Orchid Fancier and Gargantuan Gourmet, Nero Wolfe, starring Sidney Green Street.

Nero Wolfe had just come downstairs, having tended to his precious Orchids. He was, as usual, seated in the library, which served as the office. He just dialed a phone number, and, with his eyes closed, was leaning back in his specially built chair, which was big enough for two, but not two of him.

Mr. Hasbro, this is near the Wolf. Oh, yeah, Mr. Wolf. I was just about to ring you. I have needed two pounds of duck liver. I do not, of course, refer to the commercialized Strasbourg-Bethé.

Well, I appreciate the order, Mr. Wolf. But next, my cookfritz informs me that we require three fine fat geese. Look, Mr. Wolf. You might add 12 cases of beer, a butcher of Vermont, Apples green for stuffing and a gallon of Marquise, a patrice, a Roman oil.

Mr. Wolf. In addition, Fritz has listed six dozen eggs, four braces of Sussex woodcock and a few pounds of Westphalian ham. You have a lot? I can get it, Mr. Wolf, but my poor favorite...

Very much, Mr. Hurl's, black, I'll add will be all. Mmm. Now then, Archie. Yes, boss. You seem to be worried. Oh, I am. This means naturally that I'm supposed to handle Halt Spricker's delivery boy when and if he shows.

I had to leave it in a simple manner to you. And what about the simple matter of the money? Money? I hate to bring up a vulgar subject, but where is it coming from? Oh, of course, you're right Archie. I should have said what?

Charge it. Boss, look, you don't realize I know. But we're into that truffle, bro. Curp of 500 odd bucks and change. Alright, alright. Then give him a check. Okay. Okay, I will give him a check and I hope they'll let you keep the orchids in your cell. You're a witter to you You know, I'm on the bank's mailing list. We got to notice this morning. You know me. Oh, but I do again

Yeah, you just can't take money out of an account boss Sometimes you got to put some in This is the only way to deal with the man I work for and if I hadn't thrown him that scare He wouldn't have been willing to listen when the door buzzer rang and a prosperous looking young guy and the kind of clothes that

But don't grow on trees, came in, and stood in front of the boss's chair, fiddling with the brim of his pork-pie. My name is Elephant, Mr. Wolf. Elephant? Yes, sir, Elephant. I am the spiritual leader and guiding head of a small religious group known as the Seekers of the Inner Power.

Ah, I see. Also a man addicted to marrying neither wisely nor well, but often. You read the papers? I do. Mr. Wolf, I am as aware of my sin-ridden past as anyone else's. point is that I'm no longer that kind of man. Even a person such as I can see the light and time. Good, may they ask where you've come to see me, Mr. Oliver? I need

your help, Mr. Wolf. Concerning? A certain young lady with whom I'm deeply in love. Oh, I beg you not to confuse the present emotion with any of my earlier escapades. What I feel for Miss Dana is the pure and righteous glow of an upright secret of the inner power. I promise to look on you as utterly redeemed, Mr. Oliver. Proceed.

By the way, do I recognize the name of your young lady is a park avenue socialite, an amateur swimming champion? Yes, but she's sweet, wonderful, beautiful. I've asked her to marry me and she's given me some hope. In time, I fully expect to make her my wife. Well, then where's the problem. The problem is the presence of another man in her life.

I'm sorry sir, I'm a detective, not a matchmaker. This isn't a question of making a match, Mr. Wolf. I have much too much respect for your talents to think of offering you such an assignment.

Exactly what do you want me to do? I want you to save Illsudana's life. I like? Mr. Wolf, this other man I spoke of is insanely jealous. Not only of Ills' present, but of her past as well. He has threatened the killer.

I don't doubt your earnestness in this matter, Mr. Elephant, but that would you know? I was listening on an extension in this Dana's apartment a few days ago when Hunter called. Hunter? Yes, sir, Jack Hunter.

Known as Jack the Babe Hunter. Wait a minute. I know that canvas back, huh? Sure, he's a coffee and cake, Brillam Wall, so he's not. He's a boxer. Aren't you being fancy overlooking Mr. Elephant?

He's hunter in love with his lady viewers? I doubt it. He's a man of complete moral and spiritual corruption, I believe. Naturally, you would, but what are the facts? In my opinion, he's after her for her money.

She has money? To burn. And you, Mr. Elephant? Me. Can you also afford to burn? How much do you want? The answer to that would be... Astronomer. However, if you leave a check for, say, $7,000, I should look into your matter, the very moment I have completed a little research into the nutrition of the Polynesian Orchid.

Olafenschek gave our bank account a slight blood transfusion. I think it was the boss's plan to spend a week or two in the plant room before he got busy on the case. And he'd have done it too if that phone call hadn't come in about a little after nine, just after Wulff had polished off one of Prince's dinners and was settling back with a Stein of beer in his hand.

You understand yourself, I'll get in. Well, look, you don't strain yourself, boss. You gotta straighten out an elbow to reach that receiver. You have an unfortunate playoff of mixing humor with the impotence, my friend.

Hello, dear, your wolf speaking. This is Ilfud Dana, Mr. Wolf. How do you do, Miss Dana? We were discussing you only this morning. So I've heard. Through whom? Ted, all of them. I see. The young man seemed to be quite worried about you.

The young man should tend to his own affairs. Said you in some danger? I know what he said. Oh? I'm sure to be in a man's pleasure. Where do you live? I have an apartment. Could you be here soon?

I could be there in a quarter of an hour, Miss Dana. By proxy, of course. The proxy naturally was yours truly. Ten minutes later, at twenty past nine, I walked up to Ill, S'dana's door, with a nosey elevator boy giving me the double o.

The reason for his interest was that her door was open, and the room inside was empty except for a little twisted pile of pale pink satin, which at close range turned out to be a woman.

Which woman turned out to be El Sedena? And El Sedena was dead. She used to be pretty. She isn't now. Yeah, strangulation doesn't help any girls look, son. Make anything of it? Well, the position of her body and the blood stains on her pointed fingernails tells me that she put up a tough struggle before somebody succeeded in smothering with a pillar from the sofa over there.

Yeah, that thing is, when did it happen, I wonder? Yeah, the last 15 minutes, I guess. They always been up in the elevator this evening. Nobody for her? Well somebody came up... Well who says not?

They could have used the stairs you know. Yeah. How well do you know, Miss Dana? I know exactly zero about Miss Dana. How could you write her up and down every day and know nothing about her?

It's a rule at a house to keep your mouth shut. The rule also goes when being questioned by a cop. A cop? Who's a cop? Oh I guess you're a cello player from the Philharmonic.

Look, I happen to work for a guy named Nero Wolfe. Oh... Heard of him? Maybe. Well, if your memory comes alive, son, I might see my way clear to spend a few dollars with you.

Understand? I'll keep you in mind. Going down, mister? I spent time trying to get scents out of the superintendent in a set of chamber mays, but they were as quiet as a ballpark on Christmas Eve.

Then I called the cops and told them about Alifant and Hunter. By the time I got home, the house was dark and Nero Wolf was sleeping. morning I gave him the details while he drank three bottles of beer. When I finished he sat for a long time and then started another bottle.

Pray's fighter. What about the pray's fighter, Archie? Hunter. I found the hotel he lives in before you got up. They told me he wasn't in. You know I begin to think that Mr. Elephant brought us a more absorbing case than he suspected.

You know I'm glad you like it. I don't like it. I don't like work of any variety. But this thing has its points. What do we do next? Next we investigate my turn. What? merely because of the reform playboy employees that are detective doesn't exempt him from suspicion. Oh now who's that? I'm afraid we have new choice but

to open the door and see. My name is Young. Basto Young. It's nice meeting you Mr. young. What do you want? I want to see Nero Wolf about a certain young lady with whom I am deeply in love. Well you repeat that. I want to see Mr. Wolf about a certain young lady with whom I am deeply in love. Her name please. Il Sertina. Is it possible that you

entered St. Plans of making your wife? Yes, but there's a problem involved. Another man? Yes. Well, then do come in. Do come in. I think we've been waiting for you. Oh, Mr. Wolf. Here's another one.

Ah, Mr. Wolf. You've come to me about Mr. D'Ina, sir. I have come to you more specifically about a man who has threatened her life. How unusual. He's the treacherous kind. Mild man, don't you know?

As we say in my profession, he underplays it. Your profession then is the stage. It is, sir. Go on, you interest me deeply." I was present recently when he told her that he would certainly kill her, unless she mended her sinful ways.

Sinful? No one denies that Il-Sirce had... Shall we say a checkered career? But the man's attitude is totally fanatical. What's his particular brand of fanaticism is, Dion? Theodore Olifant is a religious maniac. Well, what do you know?

He's come to give Theodore a bad report, God. I don't understand. I've come to ask Mr. Wolf to prevent his murdering Miss Dana. Am I allowed to direct questions, sir? Well, of course. Where were you between 9 and 9, 20 PM last night?

9 and 9... Why do you ask? You said I was permitted to direct question. Oh, I was walking in the park, as I remember. Do you make a habit of walking in the park? I have lately. I'm preparing for an important role in the forthcoming production.

What's so important about last night? From your point of view, a great deal, sir. What do you mean? Last night Miss Earsedayna was murdered. What? Mr. Goodwin here discovered the body. No. I'm afraid I must insist, Miss Le Young.

Why are you looking at me like that? Are you accusing me of it? I ever accused you of nothing, my dear sir. Well, now look, you're making a mistake. Olyphin killed her, you may be sure of that.

Have your word. I know him. He was trying to reform her. I wanted to make her a devout follower of his cult, the seekers of power. I heard him tell her to her face that if she refused redemption, he would see to it that she didn't live on in her wickedness.

You could produce other witnesses. Do you know? In your own smug way. Your as detestable a character is I have ever had. Alright, alright, let's everybody take five. Yeah? You're a wolf? He's busy, this is Archie Goodwin.

You'll do a good one. This is Jack the Babe, honey. Oh? How are ya? Great. You got it wrong. I got it. Why'd you ring me in on this mess, Wolf? You knew the girl pretty well.

Me and how many more? Besides, what time was she murdered? Last night between nine and nine twenty. See? if you will inform the police where you were at the time, that should be that. Yeah.

By the way, Mr. Hunter, where were you at the time? I don't see your badge, Wolf. I was only wondering. I haven't been near the Dana woman for over a month. But if you're really interested, I'll give you the name of the killer.

Please do not keep us in suspense, Mr. Hunter. A couple of years back, you'll have to finance the guy in a big and lousy Shakespearean play that closed like a clam and nothing flat. Go on.

It was money down the drain. The guy's got nerve. He wasn't in love with her and he figured she'd do anything for him. So he comes back to her to finance him again. This time in Hamlet no less.

I see. I don't have to tell you what a flop that would be. You and Eaton tell me the actor's name either. You know? Mr. Buster Young just lived here. Yeah? Well he's your man, Wolf.

You got so so when she told him she wouldn't toss any more moolai into his broken-down career he went off as rocker and tore it down. a reason for thinking so. Well, man, I'm on the street one day and he started beefing to me with blood in his eyes, so I could do not to punch him.

The results might have been less fatal if you followed your instincts. Eh, I couldn't. Guys built like a broomstick. He's weak as a cat. Get him once, he'd crack like dry plaster. I see. Mm-hmm.

What's on your mind? This man you're accusing of misstaining his murder, Mr. Hunter. He was very much in love with her. She was thinking about marrying him, he said. He said. Yes, he did. I heard him too.

He was talking to his skullcap. He also wasn't going to marry anybody. No? No, she couldn't. Why couldn't she? Well, but she just couldn't. That's all. So long. Well, now we got a perfect circle with everybody pointing at everybody else and nobody able to prove a thing. Word handles his, isn't impossible, actually?

You think young did it? I don't think at all yet. But if there's anything more dangerous than a woman's corn, it's an act of scorn. You have another visitor. Who are you expecting? At this point, anybody.

Oh, you. Yeah, I told you you might hear from me. Come on in. Who's this? Uh, fellow runs the elevator at 22 Blanton Street. What do you got for me, kid? Postcard. Postcard. Yeah, the cops missed it, but I spotted the edge stuck under a rug.

Nice of you to have delivered it. Maybe he was just being curious. Curious? It's not every elevator boy who has a chance to see Nero Wolf in the flesh. Well, him? Ha ha ha. Come off at high pockets.

I'm here because you mentioned something about spending a few bucks. Oh. I wouldn't cross the street to see the best gumshoe that ever breathed. Look, gumshoes don't breathe. And how would you like a soggy?

I'm gonna cheat. Pay me a let me go. Yeah, pay me a let me go. Sure, Mr. Wolf. Here you are. Thanks. Don't mention it. Anytime, pal. Anytime. How do you like that fresh little punk?

Archie, the lad has done us nobly. Yeah? Tapered in card, address to Miss Yul Saidina. Or what's it say? Rather peculiar message. Have you prayed tonight? It's signed with the single letter O. Have you prayed tonight?

Yes. Signed O. Technically. Weird, isn't it? Well, what's weird about it? What could be plainer? you pray tonight. Now I ask you, who is the man in this deal who's interested in praying? All of us I hope I got feeling. All right, all right. But I ask you again, what does O stand

for? You could stand for O'Brien, a bitchety, O'Mahaha. What about Olufan? Olufan too? What's with this indifference, the case is cracking and you slough it off. You remember what Young said? Olufan threatened to kill her because she wouldn't join that cock-eyed movement of his. Don't exhaust yourself, Archie. We have a high night ahead. Yes, but I don't understand.

I don't mean to stifle your imagination, my friend. But if you'd reserve your deductions for a little while, you could lend me some much-needed assistance. What do you want? I want you to become a burglar.

A burglar? I want you to hurry over to the dead woman's apartment on Brantons Street and Ransackett. For what? How do I know? We need help. Anything, ma'am, please. Go through the place where the fine tools go.

I tore the lateness stain as a part from the shreds, but I saw nothing. Then, just as I was about to give it up as a bum job, I noticed a little writing desk in the living room.

Fried loose the lock and spotted something among a pile of papers that belonged to Noel to do flat. It was a pawn ticket, lot 8-N-O-4-6, and the address was a pawn shop around the corner on Sixth Avenue.

It wasn't more than 90 seconds later that I walked into the joint and tossed the ticket across the counter. Oh, oh yeah, this one redeem it and fast up up. That's nothing. It's worth much mister now What is it? This?

Small steel filing box. Oh anything in it. I don't know come to me locked never been able to get it open We got it open wolf and I smashed the front end with a poker There were some odds and ends inside old earrings some thumbtacks a cigarette lighter just trash Then the boss stuck his fingers in and pulled out a plum.

This is it. What do you mean this is it? You failed to recognize this classic document? Managed license and marriage license. Who's marriage license? Wearing his self-explanatory. Listen, this is the certifier, etc. Thus licensing on this third day of May 1946.

The manager Miss Yield Sardina, Mr. You and Yeager? Exactly. Well, who in the world is Johann Yeager? Well, you soon see. I don't get it. I can understand. It's a befuddling little puzzle. It'll be very easy for one to make a fatal mistake here.

But, of course, you won't. I won't. Three hours later, I'd heard it all the suspects into the office, and he sat in his chair and glared at them. Elephant, young, and hunter. It was tense and tight, and the boss let it stay that way, saying not a word to anybody while he calmly sipped his beer. It was Aleph under cracked

first. I didn't kill Elside, couldn't have. Jealousy is a very compelling motive, Mr. Alephin. And you came to me to remember, complaining that there was another man in Elsideen's life. Whatever I complained about him. And jealous as I was, I didn't kill her as the sacred power as my holy judge.

Being an acquainted with your secret power, I'd have to ask you for a better authority. It simply wouldn't have been possible for me to have done it. Why not? Yeah, why not? Because I was at Mickey's night hour club last night from 7 until 4am.

Contemplating the sacred power, no tot. That can be proved, Mr. Elephant? Let me call now, let the headway to tell you. Hmm. When you take your embarrassment as an indication that you're telling the truth.

Hey, wait a minute. You can't let them off like that. Don't be bothered so much. We got that card he wrote the one about have you prayed tonight signed with his initial he didn't write that card I know look and he always not his initial is it mr.

Baster young I'm afraid I don't understand on the contrary. I'm afraid you do but for the record I'll explain Wargie yes boss hand mr. Young that large red volume of the shelf by mr. Hunter's head This one?

That one, thank you. Now then, Mr. Yang, you were favor me by opening the volume to page 1133. But why? Open it, sir. Good. You were now gone six lines down from the top and read what you see.

Have you prayed tonight? Thank you, Mr. Yang. What the devil is going on? Yes, the Yang has just given us a reading from a tragedy. The lion have you prayed tonight, he is spoken by the hero to the heroine just before he murders her.

The name of the heroine is Desdemona, and the hero, as I'm sure you all know, is a fellow. A fellow? Yeah, the hero was not Oli Fantachi. A fellow, I think, was the Shakespearean play, which Miss Dana financed for our Miss De Young, and knowing she would recognize the quotation as well as the threat behind it,

he sent it to her to warn her that he meant to murder her. You won't have the unmitigated goal to deny that, will you, Mr. Yang? No. No, I don't deny it. Do I call the police?

But I didn't kill her. The fact that I sent the car doesn't mean I killed her. Well, it'll do for my money. But not for my energy. What? Mr. Yang couldn't have killed Miss Dana.

Why not? Because he lacks the strength, the strength of such a healthy young woman and champion athlete. Why do we even pull a fight? He's rather afraid of the person, as we know, and smothering Miss Dana with that.

there was no easy task. She struggled. Therefore she clawed the wrists of the murderer. I'm sure that if you examine Mr. Young's wrists, you will find no scratches or scar. Yeah, let me see that. Go ahead. Well, Archie. Yeah, you're right. Nothing.

I was sure there wouldn't be. The person who actually killed Miss Dana was a powerful physical specimen. Yeah? Yes, Mr. Hunter. In all probability a professional athlete, A muscular man in good condition. You pointed at me.

Seems quite likely, doesn't it? You're out of your head. Am I? Yeah. Yes, it ain't a vaudir fral. Nithvar? Yavul. I mean... You said, yeah, I missed that. And you mean, yeah, yes. I asked you in German, you built the dander with your wife, and you in the heat of emotion answered me,

yes, in your mother tongue. Look, what's going on here? Allow me to present, Mr. You and Yiga, Archie. Em, I've never since re-first saw that marriage license. You see, Jack Hunter is the English translation of our friends' real name back in Germany, where he comes from.

Mr. You and Yiga. Oh, what do you know? So you proved nothing. Yeah, I was married to Yilsa. That's why I said she couldn't marry anybody else. But I didn't kill her. She was my wife.

I loved her. All the van told her you were insanely jealous of her. What if he did? You know better. Doing? You also told yourself over the phone that every word Olyphant said was a lie.

Interesting. What is? I could possibly know what else Adena told me over the phone. I hadn't mentioned it to you or anybody else. Well, well, you see it. I see most clearly, Mr. Yeager, that you must have been in the apartment with her listening on the extension phone, or you couldn't possibly have that information.

It was only a few minutes after that telephone call. That ear to the day nervous, mother to death. I see it's about time I said goodnight. Wait, I'm a yager. Good work, Archie. I invite you to sit still, Miss De Yo'an, Yiga.

And I was right. I told you we threatened the killer, but why? I only guessed at the story. Reconstructed it so to say. But I think you and Miss De Yo'an are to be congratulated on what so?

I'm not having one, your fair lady. You've always thought of her as a sweet, demure society girl, that actually she was a vicious person, as bad as the man who killed her, if not worse.

She tortured him cruelly for four long years. How can you say that about her? How can you doubt it, Mr. O'lefant? There must have been a great many men in her life. We know at least two definitely, you and Mr. Young.

But she was in love with me. She was in love with me. I'm sorry to share your illusions, but she was not in love with either of you. She was using you for her purpose.

What water purpose? Demanding the man she married. That was her preoccupation day and night. She delighted in terrorizing of him. It's one might in breaking a bull or taming a wire must and do I come near the truth, huh?

Yes. Until I couldn't stand it any longer. I asked him why you married her. Why? Because I couldn't help myself. I crawled for her. I married her on the terms that nobody should ever know I was a husband.

She was too good for me, she told me that to my face, over and over. We belonged to different worlds. I was crazy about her, so I took it. What I've taken you wouldn't believe.

Oh, I am sure. I wouldn't miss the hand. I am a very understanding man. The question is, will it be you or I believe you? That we must begin to learn immediately. Ah, gee. Yes, sir?

Phone for Inspector Cramer. You have been listening to the new adventures of Nero Wolfe, starring Sidney Greenstrain. The Night's Transcribe Story by Peter Berry was based on the famous characters created by Rex Stop.

This is an Edwin Fademan program produced and directed by J. Donald Wilson. In the cast were Herb Ellis as Archie Goodwin and Lee Millar, Marna Canelie, Larry Dobkin, Barney Phillips and Jerry Hosner. Next week at this same time, Nero Wolf and Archie will bring you the Case of the Headless Hunter.

Don Stanley speaking. And don't forget this Sunday marks the premiere of The Big Show on NBC. Not just any big show, it's THE Big Show. NBC's hour and a half of comedy, music, drama, and the best of each.

The Big Show will be heard every Sunday afternoon over most of these stations with Toulula Bankhead as mistress of ceremonies. Your stars for this Sunday's broadcast include Jimmy Derratti, Fred Allen, Ethel Merman, Frankie Lane, Mindy Carson, Meredith Wilson, Danny Thomas, and hosts of others.

No wonder it's the Big Show. And theater gill down the air this Sunday presents Judy Garland in Miss Alice Adams. So don't forget, Tallulah Bankhead brings you The Big Show Sunday on NBC.