My Friend Irma: Jane and Irma Lose Their Jobs

broadcasting system presents a new comedy my friend Erma starring Marie Wilson as Erma and Kathy Lewis as James with John Brown as Al and life Erickson is Richard friendship friendship just a perfect bland ship when other friendships have been forgotten we have to have the opposite of tracks and I live with an opposite my friend Irma I don't get me

wrong I love that girl but where Irma is concerned the question is how far can the opposite goal. By the time we went to the movies and right in the middle of the show I noticed Irma reading. Irma I said why are you reading instead of looking at the screen and she said well everybody tells me the book is better than the picture. I couldn't

play and Irma gets along with everybody even her boss. John J Clyde attorney at law, Miss Peterson speaking, oh he's busy on the other phone but I'll give him the message. Yes, important, urgent, matter of life and death.

Oh yes, I've got it all down. I'll tell him immediately. Check out it all down except for one thing. I should have asked who it was. Well, all the days work. There'll be other calls.

And now to finish this dictation. Dear Miss Irma Peterson, isn't that strange? Someone with a name just like mine. This is to inform you that you are fired. Oh, that poor Miss Peterson. Miss Peterson?

Yes, Mr. Clyde. You read that letter? You're fired. Me? Yes, yes, you. But the letter said, Dear Miss Peterson. You never called me dear before. It just shows you the minute you let the boss get familiar with you, you're out of a job.

Miss Peterson, will you please go? All right, but I don't think it's fair. There, there, there. Miss Peterson for the life of me. I don't know what goes on in that head of yours when I give you legal dictation.

Was something wrong? Wrong. Why, if I hadn't checked the last batch of letters you typed, Senator Adams would be lobbying in Reno with Mrs. Park, and I would be suing President Truman for a divorce.

You're through. You're fired. Then there's no hope for a raise? Peterson, will you please go? All right, but don't think I'm worried about losing my job. You see, I don't have to work. I have a roommate who will take care of me because she's got a steady job and works for a boyfriend so she can never get fired.

I landed investments, Miss Stacy speaking. Yes, yes, I'll check on it immediately. Richard, Mr. Girard just called. Forget Mr. Girard Jane. Say, what's this nonsense about you resigning from your job? Well, Richard, I think my letter of resignation speaks for itself.

But why? Richard, I've come to the conclusion that it's better to be the boss's wife and worry about the secretary than be the secretary and worry about being the boss's wife. about being the boss's wife.

Jane, Jane, our personal life has nothing to do with our business relationship. Richard, I'm sorry. In this case it does. In fact, your entire office force is getting a new occupational disease. Keyhole, squat, and transomitis.

Every time I come out of your office, somebody's either standing up or getting down. That's just idle office gossip. Well, it's embarrassing both to me and to you, and it's bound to reach the ears of your father, Richard, so I quit.

But how will you make a living, Jane? Well, fortunately Irma has a good steady job. She'll take care of me like another. The clock came and I said goodbye to Richard. I went home feeling pretty low, but not as low as I might have felt if Mr. Phillips in the office crossed the hall hadn't stopped me. He gave me some extra work that I could do for him at home.

Won't keep me in sables, but at least I won't be a burden on Irma. Fact, I don't think I'll even tell her. I'll just get my old typewriter from the closet and I'll start working tonight.

I'm not home yet. Well, that's good. I won't tell her I lost my job until I've had a chance to talk it over with Al. He always knows the right thing to do. Oh, hello, Irma.

Hi, Jane. How'd things go today at the officer, Emma? Pretty good. How'd things go with you, Jane? Pretty good. What's new with you? Nothing. What's new with you? Nothing. As long as we're speaking about nothing, where's Al?

I'm seeing him for quite a while. Oh, Al's working. That is, uh, he's got a job. Al's working. When did he start? Tomorrow. Tomorrow? Oh, why hasn't he been around? Well, he's been staying in bed all week preparing for it.

Al working. You know the age of miracles has come to pass. Honey, I'm going to go down to the drug store for a minute, And by the way, I may keep you up late tonight because I'm going to do some extra work.

Well, Jean, I wouldn't do that, you know the old saying. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. And Richard would be jealous if he found out about Jack. Well, I'll keep it a secret.

Jean now that Al has a job, maybe he'll accept my proposal. Come in. Hi, chicken. Oh, hello, Al. I didn't expect you to work. Oh, hello, Al. I didn't expect you so early. I had to get out of bed. The landlady wanted to change the linen.

Al, how's your new job working out? Perfect. I quit. What you haven't started yet? Honey, I've been thinking it all. I go to work, right? Somebody has to pack my lunch so I marry you.

They work me like a dog. I come home, I'm irritable, we quarrel, and we fight. First thing, you know we're throwing things at each other. Finally, you get hit, you fall to the floor crying.

No, no. For a little thing like a job, it ain't worth it to make you miserable. He, Al, you're a real gentleman. Any other fellow would take the job and make me miserable. Well, I'm glad you see it my way, kid.

Why do Al? He... to small world, isn't it? What do you mean to small world? Oh, the day before you quit your job, I get fired. Fire! What happened, chicken? Did the boss get fresh?

Oh, no, Al, everything between us was strictly Potomac. This is a problem. We got to find the answer. Well, the important thing to me, Al, is not to be a burden to Jay. Honey, I know exactly how you feel.

All we got to do is promote some ready capital for you. Well, G. Al, how do you do that? Well, there are several ways. You can go to the bank and borrow one your collateral, or you can take the collateral right to a hock shop and cut out the middleman.

He pawns things? He pawns things? Uh-huh. Now, what have you got to value that could get you ready money? Well, the only expensive things I own are the ones you've given me. I like that plaster statue of Venus de Milo with a clock in her stomach.

I'd hate to part with that, though, because you said it was imparted. Well, certainly it was imparted, honey. Because don't you remember when I gave it to you? I told you it was plaster of Paris?

Came from France, you know. But that's too sentimental, eh? What else? Well, of course, Al, if it's necessary, there's that 10 carat diamond ring you gave me. You said that was worth thousands. Eh, well, honey, I bought at the peak.

The way the diamond market has collapsed today, we'd be lucky to get a buck for it. LAUGHTER There's my red silk world spare pillow. Nothing. Half of them are yang set. Half of them, nothing.

Uh, James typewriter. Hold it, chicken. You don't have to go any for it. You got a gold mine there. We'll pawn the typewriter. But, Al, do you think we'd be doing the right thing, pawning James' typewriter?

Chicken, that's finance. You gotta take chances. How do you think the rich get rich? They buy everything wholesale. No, no, no, honey. They invest their money and make it work for them. Give me the phone.

Who are you gonna call? Who am I gonna call? The one man who can make us rich. Joe. Hello, Joe? Al. Why didn't I call you? I was considering a job. All right, Joe, stop yelling. I've seen the error of my way.

Joe, then upon a typewriter, we'll have some ready cash. What are you ham that's a good investment? The Brooklyn Bridge. No, no, Joe. This is for personal friends. Sounds like a big deal. I'll be right over and bring the door to the...

I finished my shopping, bought my typewriter ribbon. And when I get back to the apartment, I'm going to take a nice warm bath and get down to work. And since it looks as if I'll be able to pay my own way, I might as well tell her I'm about losing my job.

So I told her and she said, huh? Yes, honey. Why should you seem so startled at the news? Gee, I hope you don't think I'll be a burden on you just because I haven't got a steady job.

Oh, no, Jen, you're my friend. You can share my clothes and my perfume and if you want, you can even share Al with me. Don't overdo it, kid. Oh, Jane, I don't want you to worry about losing your job.

Relax! You can lean on me like the rock of Gibraltar. Thanks, honey. I appreciate it. I know you do because I know what it means to a girl to know she's living with a rock.

Thank you, sweetie. But you won't have to share the entire burden because tonight I'm getting out my old typewriter and start working to pay my share. By the way, where's the typewriter? Huh? The typewriter, you know the one.

Oh, I know, I know it's in the closet. Well, I guess I'll go and take my bath. Later, I'm gonna type. Honey, would you mind getting the typewriter out for me and putting in the ribbon?

Huh? Erma, I'm only mentioning the fact that I want to use the typewriter, and you keep saying, huh, why these huns? Huh? You're gonna privilege to sit in on this conversation. If you'll excuse me, I think I'll go and take a bath.

Oh, Jane, now, honey, be careful and try not to spy on me. Try not to splash any water on the floor. It's still dinner time and the man downstairs may be eating dinner. Okay. Hey, get easy.

La-la! Hey, chicken. Change taking a bath. Again? That day makes up holidays. Well, something terrible has happened. Jane's out of work. This is disgusting. What kind of people are my main going with? Well, but something else terrible has happened, Jane needs a typewriter.

When? Well, she's going to water. Use it right after she finishes her bath. Oh, well, don't worry, baby. So Joe gave him the cash I got from pouring the typewriter to invest. The money's working for us.

All we got to do is sit here so that when Jane comes out of the bathroom, we can tell her she's wealthy. That must be Joe with a good news. Honey, stretch out your arms.

I want to measure you for a mink coat. Hello? Oh, Joe, what's the good word? Need bail? Joe, what happened? Cups broke up the game. Joe, Joe, listen. Oh, you can't talk. They're taking it all down.

Understand. By the way, remember, if they ask, you never saw me before. So long. Well, Al, what happened? What happened to Joe? Wait till I take off my hat and bow my head. And I'll tell you.

Well, what is it, Al? Chicken. As it must come to all men, the sheriff came to Joe. And now it's the King's Man with Ludbluscan and his orchestra and their arrangement of Little Eyes of Jane.

I got a gal and you've got none. Lil' as a chain. I got a gal and you've got none. Lil' as a chain. She's so pretty I do declare. Lil' as a chain. The big brown eyes and wavy hair.

Lil' as a chain. Oh, as a chain. Come my love and marry me. Lil' as a chain. She's a happy baby. I go by a wedding ring. Lil' as a chain. I ain't really married in the spring, my littleizer As a jang, the grappling man who stole my lyser jang My lyser, when I had jumped up for the train

Midway to South in Tennessee, I got off the train Who was waiting there for me, but little lyser My lyser, when my lyser drank How can I decide that if I wanted to make any headway I better get started with my typing

Because I entered the room, Irma was reading last week's newspaper Irma likes to read old newspapers that way she can always predict what's already happened. I noticed that there was something different about the room.

The sofa on which Irma had draped herself had been moved directly in front of the closet door in which I kept my typewriter. I said, Irma, yes Jane, why'd you move the sofa? The sofa, uh, think fast, Irma.

Well, uh, I don't want the sofa in front of the piano, I mean, I don't want the sofa in front of the phone because I don't like people talking behind my back. Erma, you didn't move the sofa in front of the closet because there's something in there you don't want me to see.

Oh, that isn't the reason. It's because there's something in that closet. I don't want you to see that isn't there. Oh, just let me think calmly. This is the first time in six months that I've wanted to use the typewriter.

So what is the most logical thing to expect? Erma, where did I all pawn the typewriter? Why, Jane Stacey, how can you say that? Where did Al pawn the typewriter? Al has pride. You know he'd never tell me.

So you let him take the one thing that I depended upon to see me through this crisis? Well, don't say the one thing. I'll consider everything. I was even willing to pawn the genuine pearl necklace he gave me.

Why didn't you? Well, you know, when you take it out of the ice box it melts. I'm out. Okay, Armou, okay. I was afraid of being a burden to you, but now that you've taken the tools of my trade away from me, I'm not going to get another job.

I'm just going to let you support me. Armou, you can work for two. Jane, I can't even work for one. What do you mean? I've been fired. Fired? Yeah. Armou, how did that happen? I don't know. I'd write a letter, then I'd have to write another letter explaining what I wrote.

Then my boss, Mr. Clyde, would have to write another letter apologizing for my explanation. Oh, honey, well, why didn't you tell me? Well, I figured two can live as cheap as none. Besides, there's Al.

Yeah, I see what you mean by none. Well, now I understand everything, honey, but why did you pawn the typewriter? We wanted to make some money to take care of you. You see, Joe had a good proposition.

Uh-oh, Joe again, and something no doubt happened to Joe's deal. Yes, while he was dealing. Jane? What? Are you angry at me? How could I be darling? You were thinking, and whenever that happens, we have to be satisfied with pot luck.

Hiya, chicken. Hello, Janie. Well, if it isn't King Midas, Everything he touches turns to three gold balls. Now, wait a minute, Janie. Don't get angry. I'm sorry for what I've done. And I realize if I was a lawyer, I would be disbarred.

If I was a doctor, they'd take my license away. Well, what about it? Just wanted you to know you're not dealing with a professional man. Well, there's really no need for any explanations. I know you're sorry.

I suppose it's my fault as much as anybody. I shouldn't have quit my job in the first place. Imagine me wanting you and Irma to take care of me. You know that's one of the silliest, most terrifying thoughts I've ever had?

You feel badly about losing your job, hon Jane? Well, I feel badly about quitting when I didn't have to. Now we're all in a bad financial mess. I think I'll go out and get some air and try and think this thing out.

Oh, this is terrible! Jane's out of work and I'm out of work and you're out of work and no money coming in and... Honey, let us carefully analyze the situation and see what can be done.

Now as I see it, there are three things we can do. First, there's a chance of me getting the job. So we immediately go to number two. That is your chance of getting the job.

This takes us to number three. That's Jane. Well, but she quittin', there's no going back now. You know, Al, once you burn your bitches behind you. Yes, yes. Oh, honey. Honey, you heard what Jane said. She's sorry.

That girl wants to work. All right, so she's eccentric. But who will we to stand in her way? Well, but, Al, I... Believe me, Irma, Jane will never be happy, nor will we, until we get that job back for her.

But, Al, I don't even know why she quit. Maybe she had a quarrel with Richard that developed into a misunderstanding. Well, there's only one way to find out. We'll call up Richard and straighten him out.

Oh, no, Al, I don't think that would be right. Gotcha, honey. Forget it. We won't call Richard. Instead, we'll call his father. That seems more logical. Well, certainly you don't deal with messenger boys. You go right to the top, honey.

Well, how do you think it'll work? Can't miss. He's the top man. And when you want a job back, always go to the top man. It gives you dignity. Besides, when he throws you out, you don't feel like such a bum.

Well, Gee, Al, I'm so glad I have you to do my thinking for me because thinking gives me a headache. I also read that it makes your hair fall out, so I try not to think too much.

So I'll honey. Because I know you'd never be happy with a ball-headed girl with a headache. Operator, I want hilltop 5. Hey, that's a long distance call. Oh, why don't you tell me. Operator, I was cut off.

Get my number back immediately. Yes, it was hilltop 5.8. 2.9. That nervous owl? Don't be nervous, chicken. You talk to him, and I'll tell you what to say. Yeah, take the receiver. OK, Al. He wouldn't Jane be tickled if she knew what we were doing for.

Hello? Mr. Rhyeland, are the seconds. Your name is Jane Stacy, and you worked for him a long time. My name is Jane Stacy, and I work for you a long time. Al, I'm not Jane Stacy.

Never mind. See what I tell you. You're a reliable girl, and you've been with a firm ever since it's been established. I'm an established girl, and I've been with your firm ever since it's been reliable.

Do it! Holy chicken! Hold it, chicken! No! You're a good typist, you never make a mistake. And what is more, you go out with his son. I'm a good typist, I go out with your son what is more, I never make any mistakes.

You're all wet chicken! You're all wet chicken! No! He shouldn't have fired you. Al says you shouldn't have fired me. And what is more? Guess what Al? What? He hung up. Well, he's a busy man.

But don't worry, chicken, I'm sure you're making impression of him. I knew the only way to solve my problem was just to face it. So I called up Richard and in two minutes we both realized how foolish we'd been.

Now I have the job back and I have Richard back and if there's anything nicer than that, Sandy Claus will just have to bring it. So I couldn't wait to get back to the apartment, say Irma.

Yes, Jay. Erma, listen honey, forget everything I said. Our troubles are over. I got my job back. Listen, Dorale. She got her job back. Little does she know who got her job back. What are you two up to?

I'll never mind. You'll find out someday you'll thank us. Richard, what are you doing here? I haven't any place to go. My father won't even let me in the house. I... I... I... I don't understand.

Jane, why didn't you tell me you'd called my father? Me? I knew you were angry at me for a while, but... but you didn't have to tell him all those weird things that you were established and made no mistakes when you went out with me.

What? Well, what is more, he's still my father. You have no right to call him Chicken. It's getting a little stuffy in here. I think I've dripped along. Do that and keep drifting. Richard, I didn't make the call. Please try to understand.

Oh, Irma, how could you? I was only trying to help. Only trying to help Irma. If you and that, that fugitive from an employment office, every medal in my affairs, again, I'd... Irma, can't you see what you've done to me?

Jane, there's only one thing we can do. Let's go over and explain everything to my father. father if only for my sake yes all right Richard oh please Jane give me a chance to explain I didn't mean any harm I only wanted to oh she's angry at me he hates me oh gee they've all gone I wish I were a man so I could feel like a

forgotten man but I deserve it because I made Jane unhappy and even Alice left me. There's only one thing to do. Where's the pencil? To whom it may concern. Do not drag the river for my body as I have hung myself. Guess who? P.S. Don't tell Al he worries. Richard did you hear this? It's ridiculous. Oh no it isn't Richard

on I'm terribly frightened you don't know Irma. But only someone out of her mind I said you don't know Irma. Richard, what do we do? If you're really worried, I think it's best to call the police.

Yes, the police. You're right, Richard. The police. Oh, dear. She'd only waited to hear the news if we'd straighten everything out with your father. Don't worry, dear. Oh, I can't help it. Operator, give me police headquarters.

Isn't there any words from the police? I'm going to go out of my mind. I'll be calm, Jane. They'll find her. I'm telling you both here on the wrong track. We've got to use the same tactics they use with all my friends.

with all my friends. Offer her a reward. Oh no. Oh heavens, I'm afraid it's too late. Oh, Irma, Irma. Did someone call me? Irma! Chicken! Oh honey, oh Irma, oh gee. I'm so glad to see you. I never expected to see you again. Neither did I.

Oh, listen honey, no matter how much I yell at you, you must never toy with such ideas. We love you. Well, Jane, I felt so unwanted that I wanted to... But it's all right now because you see, before I could do anything, I met my old boss, Mr. Clyde.

He begged me to come back to work. Why? Didn't he hire a new girl? Oh, he tried ten of them and they all sat around, but none of them could figure out what I wrote in the past two years.

It was peaceful again. And once more, there were two breadwinners in the flat, but one thing still kind of troubled me, and so that night after we'd set our prayers, I said to Irma, honey, tell me something.

How did Al get the money to get my typewriter back? He sold my genuine pearls, but you said he couldn't take him out of the ice box. I know he sold the ice box too.

Well, that's my friend Irma. My friend Irma was written and directed by Cy Howard. Remember next week, instead of dialing your telephone to listen to your best friend, Dial your radio to this same Columbia station same time to listen to...

My friend, Irma! Starring Marie Wilson, Asurma and Kathy Lewis as Jane, with John Brown as Al and Life Hurics and his Richard. Songs were by the Kings fans of the music of Ledgluxton and his orchestra.

Speaking this is D.G.S. Columbia Broadcasting System.