Life with Luigi: Damage Claim on Broken Mirror

From Chicago, we invite you to enjoy life. Life with Luigi, a new comedy show created by Sigh Howard, and starring Jay Caro-Nage with Alan Reid. A year ago, when Luigi Vasco left Italy to start his new life in America, he promised his mother that he would write her and tell her about his adventures.

So now we look over Luigi's shoulder as he writes another letter to Mama Vasco in Italy. Dear Mamma Mia, yesterday I find out that Italian boys, very popular in America, all over, in magazines, in a newspaper, on signs, is a picture of a two beautiful American girls, both the crazy over same Italian boys.

On a bottom it's a witch, a twin has its own. But in America, Mamma Mia, everything is a big. In all the country when a fellow has a cold, is it just a plain cold?

What in America? A fellow catches a cold in all directions. So he takes the four away cold tablets. Out of countryman Pasquale, who bring him here and has spaghetti palace next to my antique store, he's now giving his fat daughter a rots a reducing pill.

Last week she takes so many reducing pills, she gained six pounds. Mom, Mom, Mia, you should see her. She is the only girl who can be in two places at the same time. But don't worry, I'm still a singer and my business is alright.

This afternoon when Jimmy O'Connor, my 12-year-old general manager, come home from school, he'd say. Hello boss. Hello Jimmy. How is school today? Not so hot. Is it not steamy hidden in school, Jimmy? It's got nothing to do with that boss. It's just an expression.

What it means not to so hot, Jimmy? Well, it means crummy. Crummy. What that mean? Crummy means not so hot. Oh, why you don't say so? Why you don't say so in the first place?

We better skip it, boy. Not so hot. Crummy. Skip it. Jimmy, sometimes I think of that as two kinds of English in America. Kind you learn in day school and kind that teach men in night school.

What's doing around the storm, Mr. Luigi? Did we get any mail? Sure, this morning a postman brings me six pounds of mail. Six pounds? three letters and a catalog from Cesarobux. He's the final writer.

Did you get any checks in those letters, Bo? Check. So who's it going to send us checks? Doesn't anybody owe us money? Is there a way around that we owe anybody money? Jimmy, sit down. We're in Cesarobux.

Okay, Bo. Here's the first letter from a current silver company. Read it, Jimmy. Dear Mr. Basko, with regard to your order of November 3rd, We cannot send you the candle-six-two order until you send us the money you owe us.

We will send you the candle-six when you send us the money. What should I answer, boss? Say, please, the cancel order is impossible for me to wait that long. An excellent, Jimmy. Well, this one is an important boss.

Can we assert a firm from Frank Hoover and Sons? Only. Jimmy Hoover is important, a fella. Washington is the father of a country. Hoover is the father of a vacuum cleaner. But, Mr. Luigi, this who were wanted to buy a two-volume encyclopedia for only $16.

Write them as soon as I get $8 I send them for first of all. But boss, what could we have one book do you? Then I'll be the smartest of the fellow in Chicago from letter A to letter M.

Okay. And the sign it, Luigi Pascot and the Jimmy. What a Jimmy, boss. Mr. Hoover signs it as a letter, Frank Cojova and his son. So I sign Luigi Pascot and a Jimmy. You're just like a son to me.

Thanks, boss. But where do you expect to get that $8? Don't worry, Jimmy. Soon we're gonna have money. See this other letter? What about it? It's from my cousin Salvador, who has empty store in Boston.

Remember, lady, who ordered Admiral Perry Miro from me? Mrs. Ditson. She's been coming here every day. Soon we get the Miro, Jimmy, and we make a $200 profit. How do you figure $200? You're paying Salvador $200 for the Miro, the mirror and mrs dits is going to give you three hundred dollars that's only a hundred dollar profit or not jimmy

explain when the lady pays me three hundred dollars and i picked one hundred that's one hundred dollar profit which is a hundred dollars i don't expect so so a hundred dollars i get and a hundred dollars i don't expect that that's a two hundred dollars what that's not good arithmetic is what not good arithmetic maybe not but i make a more money that way

But Mr. Luigi, what does Salvador say about the mirror? I read the letter. Dear cousin Luigi, last to let you ascend to me is to come here without a stamp and I must pay let it carry it to his center.

If you're reading this letter now, then we're even. Aww, get to the party about the mirror. Don't be impatient Jimmy. Here's the more. Last week, my papa, who was 80 years old and is not feeling too good.

So Dr. Talbot, he must smoke only one exigarade. Papa does this, and now he's a fellow worker because he never smoked a cigar before in his life. But gosh, what is the Admiral Perry Mayor coming?

Wait, cousin Luigi, I'm sorry, but to not surprise to hear about the exublars with the pascal. When I come to this country, pascal, he also tried to make a meme and marry his larger daughter, Rosie.

He promised me he make a biggest wedding in a history of a Chicago. That's the way I'm living in Boston. The mirror, boy, the mirror. Cousin Luigi, I'm a very fond of you. And this year, I'm ascending you Christmas presents.

But, boy, isn't it, Jimmy? Admiral Perry Mirror is on the way. Cousin Luigi, your papa was my uncle, my papa was your uncle. You honest, the fella. And I trust you with my life, so Merr is coming to you, C.O.D.

What's that's the good? What's good about it? C.O.D means collect on delivery. That's right, so I collect the mirror on delivery. You don't understand, Boa. When you express when he delivers a mirror, you'll have to pay him $200 cash.

Expressman? I don't know. Expressman money. I owe Salvador a month. Well, that's the way it works though. You pay the expressman and the company pays Salvador. You mean Salvador's express company more than he trusts his own cousin?

Looks that way. That's the salamud. I'm so angry with him. I'm not going to move him down from a first to cousin to a second to cousin. What's more important is where are you going to get the $200?

I don't know. First, they better call up express company and find out when they bring Admiral Perry Miller. Okay. That's the salamud, sorry. The son of a daughter would be a fine-acrystable present. But I get the $200 a pair for the mirror.

Maybe when the expression man would give him his seal, they I gave him IOU. I'm a good man. I'm a bad girl. Hello, Mrs. Dittson. I'm glad to see you. Mr. Basko has my admiror come in yet.

Well, you see, I can't understand it. It's only coming from Boston. Why should it take so long to get here? Business is slow. I've been very patient about this. It's been a month since I gave you a $50 deposit and I don't have the mirror.

Lady, I don't have it a $50. I give it to Pascuale for the rent. Mr. Basko, really? How can you run a business that way? I don't know, it's very hard. Please, Mr. Dixon, there's nothing to worry about.

Present Salvador. Oh, hello, Mr. Dixon. Hello, young man. Why did I express some people say to me? Oh, they're going to deliver the Admiral Perry Mirror this today. That's a lot of a seamless business, right?

So it is not that the worry about it. They said it would be here no later than five o'clock. It's on the truck. You're a seamless business, that's a... It's a funny country. When Admiral comes by trucking, it's that a boat.

It's about time. I'll be back at five, Mr. Beth. Go goodbye. Hey, lady. Yes? Maybe you like to pray for Mira now? Well, that's ridiculous. I'll tell you. When I get the Mira, not before...

But if you give them it two hundred fifty dollars now, then I'm Mrs. Dickson, You're absolutely sure to get the mirror. Look, Mr. Basko, I've already given you a $50 deposit. Maybe you like to give me $5 or more $50 deposit.

I should say not. If that mirror isn't here by 5 o'clock shop, then I'll thank you to return my $50. You're welcome, my laders. That was a good try, boy. Jimmy, you know something. What?

Hings is an act that's so hot. Right. Luigi Basko. I'm gonna eat you, Basko. I got a box for you Jimmy must be Admiral Perry in a box there's an admiral in there he must be a midget thank you very much goodbye does not so fair hey yo day a little matter two hundred dollars if it's a little then

don't worry look mr. all I know is I gotta get two hundred dollars or the box goes back on the truck please the mr. Expressman wait for five minutes sit down here read the series of Robert Catal We're going boy.

Hi go see Pascuali. Hey Gee my friend. Hello Luigi, hello, hello. Hello Pascuali. At tomorrow Luigi you look a little bit nervous. I'm gonna have to know if I'm worried. Danny you come up to the right party.

Anytime you got a worry, my little man or you come up to see Pascuali. Pascuali. Then you tell me Pascuali. Anything Luigi you want to say? I'm saying you ask for it. I'm a living only to make you happy.

Then, the Pascualia... Then meeting, Luigi. My house is your home. My bread is your food. My daughter, Rosie, she's your wife. She's an ass in my wife. I was just thinking out loud. Pascualia, I'm not coming over to talk about the rosa.

I'm coming over to talk about the me. All right, fine. We talk about you. How would you like to marry Rosie? How did we get back to Rosie so quick? It wasn't easy. For us, Patquale, then we talk about her.

Fine, I'm eliciting with my ears the wide opener. How would roses father like to lend me $200? My ears are just suddenly closed up. Please, Patquale, I must have a $200 right away. What, the four you need, $200?

For Adam or Perry? Patquale loses a job? No, Adam or Perry, he's dead. Then what, a four, he needs a $200? I explain. $200 is to pay for me. Luigi, you're crazy. Shave her like everybody else.

Who would have 10 cents a mirror. Is not the mirror for shaving. Is antique. I just get from cousin Salvador. No, I put Don't mention his name. I don't like a fella who refuses for Mario Rosha.

You're gonna go to life and not to liken a lot of fellas of Pascualic. Luigi, what's your cousin? I'm your cousin, a Salvatore. I got to do with a mirror. It's a business. Salvador sends him a picture of Admiral Perry Mirror, and that was the kind of a picture he was at.

You know I understand antique business. Sometimes one dealer, he sends another dealer a picture of antique, and instead of antique. Much finer. Next year time, a fella's are coming to my restaurant, he orders a spaghetti and a meat to balls.

I'm going to serve him a small, a snapper shot and a plate. He's like a dish, but squalley. Lady. She gives me $50 a million, she gives me $50 a dollar bill of positive. Cousins, Salvador, send me mirror, express, I'm going to bring a mirror to your bank.

So I need a $200. You want to send a pusqually? Sure, Luigi. I am a fan. All except to want to take you. What's that, Pusqually? Where are you going to give the $200? That's the way I come here, Pusqually.

Goodbye, Luigi. Please, Pusqually. Express, man, is the way I do. I don't give you $200. I suppose you don't sell it in mirror, then I'm a star. Stop, but the Pascuali, lady is coming at five o'clock.

She's gonna give me $250 more. You mean she's a paid 300 for what you paid 200? That's right Pascuali. I pay you rent with a $50 deposit. Now I make another 50. You make $100 a profit?

Sure, see, I'm a good businessman. You're lending me $200 now? Luigi, I'm thinking it. You see the little li'ins are gonna run in my head? I'm a dizzy watching. All right. I lend you the money on a one condition.

Please, if it's quality, don't bring a roster up again. Who's talking about a roster? I'm talking as strictly business between the two friends, the two countrymen. I've decided to lend you the money on a 50-50 deal.

What do you mean a 50-50 deal? What do you make a $50 profit to we split? Forty for you, for me and tenor for you. But that's not a 50-50. Luigi, how much is a 40-50?

And how much is a tenor for you? Oh, it's a fifty-fifty. Okay. Oh, get the squally. Expressman is waiting. Here is your two hundred dollars in my little apartment. And remember, I charge only same interest as a bank.

A six percent. That's right. Only bank could charge you six percent a year, and you charge you six percent a minute. America, I love you. You like a pappa to me. From motion to ocean.

My name is the expressoment. I come here to you two hundred dollars. Oh boy, that's great! Here's your receipt, Mr. Bato. Thank you. Jimmy, give me screwdriver. Here you are, what? There. He's a lot of sawdust, Jimmy.

Now I pull out the mirror. Take it easy. Jimmy! Oh boy, the mirror! Come on, my mirror. Me, Pascuali, and I'm from the world, Perry. We all broke. Ladies and gentlemen, in the last two days, two young entertainers have gotten their big break and show business on Donna Meachie's new CBS Afternoon show, Your Lucky Strike.

Every afternoon, Monday through Friday, from now on, Don will be here on CBS, introducing three or four promising young performers, singers, actors, and comedians each day. After you've listened to them, Don will phone three CBS listeners daily asking you to vote on which entertainer gets the big break.

tomorrow and every weekday Monday through Friday at 4.30 p.m. Eastern Standard Time to your lucky strike starring Donamichi over most of the same CBS network station. And now for the second act of Louis, Gebasco's Adventures in Chicago, we turn to page two of his letter to his mother in Italy.

And so mum and me and Berra is a broken. And I pay two hundred dollars to see Admiral Perry loses the first battle. If he sees what happens to a mirror, Admiral Perry goes right out and thinks to express the company. But Jimmy, he tells me to go to express the company and maybe I get back to $100. So I go from the mirror. They ask him so many questions

and they send him to so many different people. Mr. Basko, what was the damage article of dead animal? Buried, off he was a broken mirror. Mr. Basko was the damaged article, spoiled We eat eggs or poultry.

What's the broken mirror? Mmm. Mr. Basko, was the damaged article of flour, fruit or vegetables? What's the broken mirror? Mr. Basko was the damaged article of broken mirror. If I say yes, do I get the money?

First, how was it packed? Fiber box, wooden box, crepe, corrugated, burlap, barrel, bale, hamper? Please, Mr. Basko, stop me. Please, keep talking, I'm learning new words. Are you familiar with the word, triplicate? What does this mean?

I'm going to make three copies of this report. One goes to the main office, the second goes to Boston, and the third goes to Mr. Fitt. What the Mr. Fitt? She does what his copy?

He sends it to Mr. Haboo. And Mr. Haboo? He sends it to the claims clerk. Who is the claim clerk? Me. That's the good. That's the good. You're nice, Sir Feller. You'll give me the money and I go home.

Just a minute, Mr. Basko. But please, I must have a $200 by five o'clock. Today? Sure, you see. But Squally, you know how to make $200. Yes, Mr. Bosco, you'll get your money, but not with other certain amount of red case.

Come and hurry, I take a money without the test. Patience, patience, Mr. Bosco, patience. There are just these two forms, the exception report and the joint inspection report. Oh, my, my, my, I still have to report the one you'll give me the money.

These things take time, but rest assured, Mr. Bosco, National Express will make good your claim. Are you sure? Certainly! The National Express Company has never yet failed to pay an honest claim. We are as solid as the Rock of Gibraltar and you know the Rock of Gibraltar.

If I don't pay for Squally is the money by five o'clock then he's gonna make me marry the Rock of Gibraltar. La la la la la. That's Squally. Hello, Luigi. My little 50-50 partner. How is that little business a deal coming along?

That's Squally. You said it that already. What's the matter with you, Luigi? You're shaking like a little puppy in a rain. He's a bad and it was the pusqually what's a bad news in a fifth for the in a mess is a five o'clock Lady comes into your store and I pay you two hundred and fifty dollars

You give me two hundred and forty dollars. You keep it arrested for yourself What's so bad and it was about that? Hey, but squally the mirror is a broke well that's type What do you say?

Please the pusqually I'm a shaking like a little puppy in the rain then I'm a dog a capture Who is a bust and that's a mirror? I don't know. They'd give me back for my two hundred hours. I know God.

Then who got? Express to company. Go back to Express company. How much you have to come back? Go back again. Companies say they pay. When? After they file a million it's replicate. What's quality please? Luigi. I don't want to get a chive.

I'm trying to become. Give me my money. What's quality I know God? Get! Where? Lend it from at some point. from a son box. I don't know anybody but you're my honest friend. Any fellow who's a friend of yours is an old friend of mine.

I hate it myself. But Wally please I pay you back you two hundred dollars I save money from Anticobas. Is there no more Anticobas in it huh I'm gonna break it down at the wall between your story and my soul and I'm gonna make one of biggest spaghetti palace. Oh, and what's going to happen to my antique? Every Tuesday we have antique

an item, one antique of three with a two and a half dollars a dinner. What's quality? Set them what I do. Don't worry, Luigi, I got a bigger plan for you. You're gonna work for me. I'm gonna buy you a brand new Second hand is a tuxedo.

Also white to shape that a nice little shoestring would die. And are you gonna be my friend's your head waiter? But I'm not the friend. I changed your name from Luigi to Pierre. You're gonna stand in the door and the roses she's gonna sit at a cash.

You're just gonna keep a one eye on you and a one eye on the money. Is this your last award to Pascuali? That's my final sentence. And this, I don't take you word for it. You sign a note.

What kind of note? From Misory, you know. What the for? If you don't pay me my money by five o'clock, then you promise it to Marirosa. What do you say, myself? Okay, I'll care about my son.

Hey, Ben, all day, boss. What permit is it, Jimmy? Three minutes to five. We spend the last three minutes to get it, Jimmy, huh? What are you talking about? When a clock respects the five.

Is a good buy-in take a store? Hello, Royce. Didn't the express company give you back the money by the time they pay me. I'm gonna be ahead the waiter by name of Pierre Hello, mr. Dr Hello mr. Dittin. It's five o'clock. You have my mirror. Oh, he's a long story mr. Dittin. You see never mind never mind

Just return my $50 please, but I don't have a 50 dollar My friend hello hello, but by the clock I'm a bat but while I hit it is a mr. Dittin mr. Dittin to real and I said to me to you why why because your heart and luck is it make a much pleasure possible is a happy moment of my life

sorry I know kind of say the same I'd like my department Mr. that I'm not going to give you the $50 a bit of this and I'm going to give you a little bit of time and shy Rosa looks like a biggest storm another sunshine Rolsa! Rolsa!

Say hello to Luigi! Hello, Rolsa! May she have the best dinner to give him a great pleasure to present the Refute Jim Mrs. Abasco! I'm glad you accept the road, so now is everything you've settled!

Shake your hands with Luigi! Another package for you, Mr. Bear School! For me? Where is it from? Jane, place is the last one, Boston! I don't expect the other day for any more broken-a-thing! Come here.

See? You take a $200 from me for broken America. That? Sure. Look, 100 is the littlest of a piece. Those are Christmas decorations. That must be the mirror in the box I just brought in.

Then the cousin tells her to put the COB on the wrong package. Hey, he said he was sending your presents. Jimmy, bring him a screwdriver. Hey, y'all, boy. Mommy, Mommy, I hope. Look, is that mother-parame or Mr. Victor?

Oh, it's beautiful. Now you know why I wanted it so bad. It's only yours and Mrs. Victor. Oh, thank you, Mr. Basko. Now, here's your money. Thank you. But why don't you give me your money?

But Luigi, my friend. I know I'd pair up with my promised lino, sir. What about us? Should I take a bad pasta? What about us? Hey, what do you mean to go buy, Luigi? Hey, what do you mean to go buy, Louis?

Sure. You're going to tear down Antique Ester and make a one of the biggest spaghetti palettes, you know? No, Louis. I've been thanking it for you, Kenneth. Sarah, want a mirror. That'll make $100 of profit.

Yes, the pescwelling. I'm going to tear down a spaghetti palette and make a one of big antique Ester. My money! Oh, my money! Oh, my money! Oh, my money! Oh, my money! Oh, my money!

Oh, my money! Oh, my money! Oh, my money! Oh, my money! Oh, my money! Oh, my money! Oh, my money! I don't know if I'm a real familiar, but Squally make money and he gives me part of it.

But Squally say he's going to give me a roster for Christmas. But I don't worry, she wants to fit under my tree. Next week, I think I go in a record place and I make a little record of letter and a sendio.

Listen carefully to my voice. This way you learn a perfect English pronunciation. In a little while, mama mia, you speak as good as me. Also, is the one the more away here to learn English language.

So next week, I send you alphabetous soap, so you'll have a good soap and learn alphabet at the same time. When you learn a few words, make up a sentence and write it a couple of times.

I make up a one for myself and is now my favorite. He's only few words, but to mean a lot. Goes like this. Luigi Bosco is a very, very glad to be in America. P.S. you're loving it, son, Louis.

Be sure to listen next week at this time over most of these stations when Luigi Bosco writes another letter to Mama Bosco describing his adventures in America. Life with Luigi is a Sighowered production and is written by high craft in Sighowered and stars Jay Carroll Nash as Luigi Vasco with Alan Reed as Pasquale.

Music is under the direction of Wilbur Hatch. Friends, have you given your donation to the Red Feather Campaign yet? Remember the community chest helps everyone. With the goal of $7,550,000 for the nation to adequately supply each organization belonging to the community chest, it's the duty of every citizen to contribute generously.

Remember, instead of numerous fundraising campaigns, your one contribution to the community chest covers them all, thus eliminating the nuisance of continual contributions. So when you are asked to give to the Red Feather Campaign this year, giving up, everybody gives, everybody benefits.

And as a final reminder, your one yearly donation must cover a period of 12 months. So take time enough to give enough to the community chest, Red Feather Campaign. The funniest, fastest nightclub entertainment in America will be yours in just a little while, when comedian Moriams Todam makes his regular Tuesday night appearance on CBS.

Four years, Moriams Todam has been one of the great nightclub comics of Broadway. Now on his CBS Moriams Todam show, Moriams introduces you to his own club, where the funniest things of all happen backstage.

All you have to do is to get by the songwriting doorman, and you'll be in Morris Cafe on the Moriams-to-Dam show a little later tonight over most of these same CBS network stations. Bob Lomond speaking.

This is CBS, the Columbia Broadgashing System.