Day In The Life Of Dennis Day: Dennis Sells Vaccum Cleaners ( )

The New Dennis Day Show, written by Frank Galen, with Sharon Douglas, B. Benadera, Dink Trout, Lou Merrill, Jerry Housster, Charles Dent and the Orchestra, and starring the popular singer of the Jack Benny Show, in a day in the life of Dennis Day.

Here's Dennis to sing on the Boardwalk in Atlantic City. All aboard! Goodbye, little chicks, we're leaving the sticks. We're catching the crane at a quarter to six. And if anyone should draw around, Would you please tell them that we can be found?

In Atlantic City, we will walk in a dream On the boardwalk in Atlantic City, Life will be peaches and cream, Where the salt barre Sing, got a lady's song They're all right in your arms Cinderella, you will find your power Someone left you quite far In romantic and Catholic And lastly, sleeping on track 6 for Elizabeth

And then Lakehurst Red Bank and Atlanta too If you wanna get us in the rest If we need the yellow-ranted umbrella, you're not cozy corner where the cool breezes play. Or if you prefer to try a different law, why don't you start a stolen way of the way the rolling in the bend?

Play's music all day. You play where the soft water air brings out a lady's charm to find your fella. Someone that you've waited for in romantic and chamois. Well Saturday night in Weaverville where Dennis Day lives and works is just like Saturday night in your town or any other.

Everyone likes to forget the cares of the week and go out for a good time. For instance, there's Mr. and Mrs. Anderson who run Dennis's boarding house. Would you care to see a movie after dinner, Herbert?

I'd love to poop tea. At what playing tonight? Well, there's a Charles Boyay picture at the B.U. And after Fox is Betty Rabel in Technicolor. Oh. Have you any choice, Herbert? Yes, hope so, please.

That's a lot of good, it's gonna do me. And of course, our young hero, Dennis, is making plans for the evening, too, with his girlfriend, Mildred Anderson. Would you dare to see a movie after dinner, Dennis?

She Mildred, why pay $0.60 to see a movie when we consider here alone by the fire? And I'd say the same thing if I had $0.60. Ooh, golly, Dennis, are you broke again? You never have any money.

I know. The other day, I finally figured out why, too. Because my expenses are bigger than my salary. I guess you'll never save enough out of your salary so we can go out like other people.

Oh no, just you wait till next Saturday night. Next Saturday night? What do you mean? Well, I was going to make it a surprise, but I guess I'll have to tell you now. I've taken on an extra job. I mean besides the one at the drug store.

Oh, Dennis, that's marvelous. Is it a big job? It might be tremendous someday. These people are young. Just starting. Who knows where they'll go? Two, three, six, maybe a dozen. Maybe a dozen. You mean a dozen factually?

Factories? Gosh, no. I'm going to be a babysitter. I thought it was going to be a real job, a good job. It is a good job. Mrs. Hoffenheimer wants me to sit with her little baby Monday night at a cool 15 cents an hour.

15 cents an hour? Do you call that money? Well, after all, a sitter has to start at the bottom. I think I'm looking in the health water section of the paper. That's where the good steady job is.

But I have a steady job now at the drugstore. For eight dollars a week is a soda jerk. Oh, Dennis, you're evading your responsibilities. That's what? You're shirking. I'm not shirking. I'm working. Jerking. The same book.

Mother and Daddy have the evening paper in the dining room. Come on, we'll look through it together right now. Well, okay. Mother, can Dennis and I borrow the evening paper for a few minutes? Your father's still looking at it, members.

Oh, here, take it. Murders, robbery, people in trouble, people starving. Oh, that's all I read about these days. Keeps up, I'm going to stop reading the comic section. Here, Garth. Thanks, Mr. Anderson. Let's see, the help-wanted section's in the back, Dennis.

The help-wanted section? Yes, Mother, we're looking for a job for Dennis. These days, a lot of people need help badly. That badly? Now, mother. You see anything good, Dennis? What's that when you're reading? I am not responsible for any debts contracted by my wife, Lucille Gibson, who has left my bed and board.

It doesn't say what the salary is. You're reading me commercial notices. We have to go over here. Oh, hey, golly, look at this. Here's a job to pay $75 a week advertising copywriter wanted. Dennis, you've had no experience at all.

Yeah, that's true. Here's one. Furniture factory manager wanted. No, that's out for the same reason. I'm afraid so. Here's another. It says, man wanted. I wish we could find one I've had some experience at.

Dennis, don't be silly. Let me see that. Man wanted. Earnings up to $300 a week. No experience. That's a certain guy, didn't he? Gee, I can make up to $300 a week. There's a catch in it someplace.

You may apply if you're between the ages of 20 and 30. Yeah. Hard working, dependable, honest. Yeah. And of normal intelligence. I know it. Mother, please. Dennis, come on outside a moment. I want to talk to you alone.

Okay, Mildred. Dennis, you're going to apply for that job first thing Monday morning and you're going to get it. Gosh, Mildred, I haven't got a chance. Oh, yes you have. But how? Why would a big important man like...

A big important man, that's it. I said something. Yes, look, Dennis, the only way to get a job is to pretend you don't need it. Huh? Make him think this job is just dirt. Tell him you're a millionaire who's only held at biggest positions, or he'll beg you to work for him.

Gee, I see what you mean. I'll tell him I'm a big earner, huh? That's it. I'll tell him I made such a big salary last year I earned nearly as much as my income tax.

Wonderful. Oh Dennis, this is the end of all our travel. All right, Miss Blake, send in the next applicant. Good morning, young man. Lester is my name, Vice President in charge of personnel. Glad to know you, old man.

I'm Dennis Day, the well-known sportsman and playboy. There. Let's make this fast, shall we? My 1946 Buick is double-park downstairs. Double-park? Yes, it's next to my 1946 Lincoln. You have two brand-new automobiles. You must be a millionaire.

Oh, I am. I've got hundreds of dollars. Oh, I see. Well, sit down, my boy. Sit down. Here for a corona corona. No, thank you. They're the very best. I never eat between meals. Do I understand that you're applying for the job we advertise in the paper?

Oh, I might consider it. One gets a little tired of polo, you know, just hitting out a little ball with a stick while mounted on a chucker. that you're applying for the job we had over time in the paper?

Oh, I might consider it. One gets a little tired of polo, you know, just hitting out a little ball with a stick while mounted on a chucker. Yes, yes, of course. Well, tell me, Mr. Day, have you had any experience in our line?

Oh, lots and lots, old man. Just what is your line? We sell vacuum cleaners house to house. You don't say. I was general manager of a vacuum cleaner company for years. Oh, which company? See if you can guess.

Agme? Gee, I thought it would take you a lot longer. So, you were the general manager of Agme. That's the job that Harry Jackson has now. That's right. He came after me. F. Are you, eh?

Harry's had the job for 46 years. I know. I left when I was very young. Well, I guess you must know Harry pretty well, eh? Probably, uh, work together. Well, uh, no, you see, Harry was in the East, and I was the troubleshooter for our Western territory.

Agme doesn't have a Western territory. Yeah, that was the trouble. Mr. Day, this boss has gone far enough. You've been lying your head off since you walked into this office. Now, what's the big idea?

Calling Mr. Lester, I'm sorry. It was just that I wanted the job so bad. Oh, so that's your day. Sportsman, playboy. A millionaire with hundreds of doves. Oh, the boy went to the boys in New York office here, then.

Shut up! Yes, sir. Well, at least you had an obvil approach. You probably wouldn't make a bad vacuum cleaner's ailment of that. Oh, no, sir. I'd be marvelous. Oh, now you've got to get over this habit of telling lions.

Honestly, sir. I won't tell another lion as long as I live. No, sir, but you don't. Oh, no, I don't possibly. I can use you, dad. Are you married? Mary? The company has a decided preference.

The married man, much more dependable. Yes, sir. That's the kind of outfit my wife always wanted me to be with. Cool! Oh, you are, Mary. Any family? The company prefers the man who has a child to worry about.

I'm your man, then. I'm worrying about mine right now. Your union has been blessed with offspring. Excellent. How many have you, eh? How many does the company prefer? Oh, it doesn't matter in the least.

Well, we have one, but if the company would like more, just speak right up. Hi, George, you are cooperative. Well, you can consider yourself one of us, my boy. I'll have your contract ready for you this evening.

Gee, thanks a lot, Mr. Lester. Oh, you see how silly it is to tell lies when you can get just as far with the truth? Yes, sir. Just leave your address on the desk on the way off, and I'll drop over to your house tonight around eight with a contract.

My house. I certainly. I want to meet that wife and baby of yours. Oh, I won't stay long. Just timing up for a few kitschy coos with a kid. I love babies. Yes, sir. Have a good day, Dad.

Kitchy coo, Mr. Lester. I've been waiting right here for the door. Did you see the man? Did you get the job? Yeah, I got it. Oh, Dennis. But I'm afraid I won't have it long.

What are you talking about? I had to tell him I was married to get the job and now he's coming here at 8 o'clock to meet my wife. Oh, is that all? Well, why are you worried about? I'll pretend to be your wife. That's a problem. I can handle easily.

I also told him my wife and I had a baby. Let's see you handle that one. Oh, baby! Oh, my goodness. What are you telling that for? Now we really are in trouble. Just a minute. The hot kind of baby. Isn't this the night you're supposed to sit with us?

with it as soon as the half-timers get up, bring the baby over here. Gee, you've got brains everywhere. Tonight the half-timer baby will be ours then. Or is it our daughter? Darn if I know, I get paid the same either way.

Oh. We have to know what to tell your boss. Are you asking if the half-timer with her to boy a girl? Yeah, that's a good idea. She'll probably know. Okay, I'll see you back here about 10 of eight, Mildred.

Gosh, Mildred, your mother and father are still in the front room. How are we going to sneak the baby past them? She sees it where finished with Mr. Lester. John, as I said, they were going to call on the magnals tonight.

I should be leaving in a minute. Is the baby all right? Yeah, it's asleep. Look. Oh, isn't that sleep? Yeah, let's look at that tiny pink face. Yeah. Doesn't it make you long for one of your own?

Oh, I'd feel silly with a tiny pink face. Yeah, I hope your folks leave soon. It's nearly eight. They... They... They've done it and woke up. Ah! The holly lady is hungry. Yeah, we could only get it inside.

There's a nice salami in the ice box. Wow! It's the way you're hungry. Mrs. Hoffheimer told me that Cradle is head with my arm. Yes, but you shouldn't let go the rest of its body.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Put your arm under it and lock that in force. Okay. There, baby. There, baby. Wow. Yeah. Oh, that's better. Oh, oh my goodness, Dennis. What? My mother and father are coming out the window.

They'll see us quick. Put the baby on your coat. Okay, there. Is the baby all right? Can it breathe? Oh sure, it's head is sticking out the bottom. It is covering me. Okay. Gee, it works every time.

No, golly, you've become. Is that all you know, Dennis? Yes, mother. Yes, Mother, I'm a dentist. Oh, evening, Dennis. Oh, good evening, Mr. Anderson. Night-night, isn't it? Hey, you putting on a little weight, ladies?

Me? A little, maybe. You know how it is in the drug store with all that ice cream around? Oh... What was that? I drink a lot of sodas, too. Well, if we're going to the McNelties, we...

Where did that come from? I didn't hear anything. Did you know it? I know. What kind of an artworks, Mother? That kind. Oh, that was me. It's a trick I've worked up for parties. See? Notice how I do it sometimes without moving my lips?

A fine accomplishment, I must say. What are you rocking back and forth for? I'm also taking rumblesons. I'm making rumble lessons. That's a lovely guy. I'll see you later. I'm going into the house. Mildred Anderson, you should be ashamed.

Going around with a boy who's only talent is making a noise like a baby. Dennis did it very well, no perfect. Couple of times it was all I could do to keep him throwing him over my shoulder and burping him.

The whole thing was ridiculous. Come on, Herbert. Good night, Mildred. Night, Mildred. Night, dear. I was afraid your mother might come back, so I hit it. Get it! Where? Up there in the chandelier. I saw a fellow hide something up there once in a movie.

Oh! Yeah, it's just that pile down immediately. It's not your race, your boss will be here in the morning. Okay, come on baby. Oh, yeah, it is a good baby, isn't it? Oh, yeah, it is a good baby, isn't it?

When Mr. Lester sees it he'll be... Oh, there he is. You're also going to talk to the baby. You asked Mr. Lester. Okay. Well, good evening, Dave. I'm sorry to be late. Oh, that's all right, Mr. Lester. We loved it.

Have I got your contract right here in my pocket, my boy? Good. Suppose I sign it right here in the door, Wing. Oh, no, no, not so bad. I came over to see the little valor, little woman.

Where are they, little valor, little woman? In the living room. I mean, the living room. Come on in. Well, well, well. Even though this is a beautiful picture. Yes, the little fellow and the little woman side by side on the sofa.

That's my wife on the left. How do you do, Mrs. Day? I'm glad you know you're here. My isn't this bad. How long have you two been married? Two years. How long? Four years. Oh, for years.

There seems to be a difference of opinion. Well, as soon as we get upstairs, we'll have another look at the license. Now, if you just tell me that contract, Mr. Lefeba... Say, you've caught your have a sweet baby here.

Good as gold, isn't it? Hello, Adelom. Ah, you little dick, isn't you? Hold is the baby. Five years. How? Eight months. Another difference of opinion, eh? What's the little text name?

William. What? A burgers. If this difference of opinion, I don't understand at all. Is the baby a boy or a girl? It's a boy. You're certain of that? Absolutely. I found out the only sure way.

I asked Mrs. Popheimer. Just who was Mrs. Popheimer? She's the baby's nurse. Yes, yes. Listen after you said something about having a contract in your pocket. Oh, yes, yes. Oh, I did. And I've taken up enough of your time.

So there if you'll sign this paper right here... You bet, Mr. Lester. I have a family or something, man. You who may have read your home. Who's there? Oh, the servants. They were out visiting.

Don't come here, mother. I'll be right now. Mother, I married the cook's daughter. I got a warning, Mr. Lester. My wife spoke to very eccentric. Except for... I'll say, mother drinks even more than father.

Don't say. This is a terrible headache, so wait... Oh, company. Yes, mother. Mr. Lester, I'd like you to meet my parents, Mr. and Mrs. Anderson. What do you do, Natalie? You both certainly have a lovely family, yes?

I was just admiring your daughter's baby. My daughter's baby. My daughter has no baby. Mother, you've been to Joe's again. Joe's, what do you mean? Yes, what is all this about, Mildred's baby? What baby?

Boy, they've really got a buzz on tonight. Just a moment. I demand to know what you're talking about, Mr Lester. I'm talking about a baby. The one there on the couch. Is that or isn't it a baby?

It certainly is a baby, but where did it come from? Ask Mr. Dennis Day here. He's the father. What? Is this child your son? Oh, no, Mrs. Anderson. He's just a business acquaintance. You mean he isn't your child?

No, sir. I just borrowed him from Mrs. Hoffheimer so I could get that job from you. So, I think I nearly made you my star vacuum cleaner salesman. I ought to have my own vacuum cleaned.

Goodnight! You come upstairs with me, Milgar Dandis, and you two are Herbert. And as for you, Dennis Day, we'll discuss this in the morning. Gee, I got in a lot of trouble on account of you, baby.

Oh, good, good, good, good. Sure are a cute little thing, though. Ah, good, good, good. Yes, you are, you little rascal. See, I wish you were mine at that. I wish you were mine at that.

And you know something? You look a lot like me. That isn't nice. Here's Dennis Day with Charles Dant in the orchestra and somewhere over the Rainbow.

When all the world is a hopeless jumble and the raindrops tumble all around Heaven opens a magic flame When all the clouds darken up the sky way There's a rainbow highway to be found Reading who are placed behind the sun Just a step beyond the river far behind The troubles melt like lemon drops

Away above the chimney tops That's where happy little do birds fly beyond the rainbow. Here's Dennis to sing, The Girl That I Marry.

The girls that I marry, as soft and pink, as an archery. The girl I call her satins and laces, Smell of her hair, he'll wear a gardenia, and I'll be here like a kitten, a dollar a gardenia, and I'll like a kitten.

This day's show has been a presentation of the United States Armed Forces Radio Service, the voice of information and education.