The Harold Peary Show: Plan to Rename Boomer Park

The Harold Perry Show. Hehehe, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And now, Harold Perry has Honest Harold the Homemaker. If you lived in Melrose Springs and you turned on your radio at ten o'clock in the morning, you'd hear a program that's very popular with the ladies.

Honest Harold the Homemaker, but not always so popular with Mr. Carothers, the owner of KHJP, and his nephew Stanley Peabody the station manager. It's evening now. Harold is at the radio station preparing his program for the next morning.

With him is his assistant, Little Billy the Ex-Jockey. Well, let's work on the mail now, Little Billy. Here's a lady that wants to know why a winded dresser always turns the price tag so you can't read him.

That's your assignment for tomorrow, Little Billy. Go on down to Hershey's department store and find out. Okay, Hal-Pam. Here's some social items that our regular contributor from Asheville sent us. Oh yes, Aunt Mary, let's see, they're usually pretty good.

Dear Harold, not much to report to you this week, except that we did have a little excitement here a few days back. Amy Sweeter, forgotten left her grandpa on the porch overnight. Listen, this one isn't bad either.

My cousin Joe was 32 this week. We don't know what to do with Joe. He hasn't made that. I've got an idea that'll really pep up your program. Oh, good. What is it, Billy? Why don't you give tips on the horse races?

What? Billy, let's forget the horse races. Who's that? I suppose it's Snoopy Poopy Peabody. Just because he's the manager around here he thinks he can walk. Hello, Harold. Hello, Eddie. Hello, little Billy. Hello. Well, this is quite a surprise. I didn't know you were coming down at the station tonight.

Yes, Stanley asked me to come down and help him take inventory. Oh, you're with Peabody, eh? No, Harold, don't be joking. I guess we could have a cozy little chat. Yeah, let's have a cozy little chat.

Billy? Why don't you go home early tonight and look over a racing farm or something? Go home. Uh-oh. I get it. Yes, you get it. You want me to look over a racing farm while you look over a filling?

Billy, that's silly, Billy. Go on, Hal-Pow. Imagine that little jockey having an idea like that. Well, Filly, uh, Evie. I just talked him to say hello for minutes. Tammy's waiting for me. Stanley, huh? That professional nephew. That nincompoop.

That doooooo-ooh, Stanley. Nice seeing you. Hello, hemp. Yeah, taking inventory, eh, Stanley? Guess you caught it in old honest Harold, homemaker? No, I was only counting the assets tonight. Liabilities tomorrow. Oh, eating. Well, I live with my chin.

Ready, Evelyna? I'll take you home now. Well, Stanley, all through checking things around the station? Yes, of course. Did you check the Thermo-Wattle? The what? When you're the manager of a radio station, you ought to know what a Thermo-Wattle is.

Well, why? If that isn't checked, Stanley, you could burn out the transmitter. Explode the static condenser and blow up the whole station. It could? Evelyna, will you excuse me? I just remembered something. I'll see you later.

You know, it's funny, but I've never heard of a Thermawattles. You haven't? Neither have I. Yeah, yeah. Thomas Tarold, really. Well, all spare and love and war in Thermawattles. Come on, I'll walk you home.

Oh, you don't have to do that. Can't have you walking all that way by yourself? But it's only three blocks. Not the way we're going, yeah, yeah. Now, yeah, thanks. You'll have to be quiet. Uncle Doc is asleep.

You're old Doc Yag Yag. How is the old veterinarian? I suppose he had a hard day manicuring sheep. Sit down, Harry. Guess I'll sit here on the sofa next to you. Er... Oop. What did I sit on?

Oh, Encyclopedia Britannica. Hard work to chromosome. Must have sat on a hard work. This is nice sitting here with you. Yes, dear. Evie, how about a little kiss? No, Harold. There's no reason why we can't just sit here and talk.

Talk? All right. How are things down at the office, Evie? Fine. Good. How about a kiss? Evie, why haven't you ever married? Oh, I don't know. I suppose I've been waiting for a little bit.

I suppose I've been waiting for a tall, slender Prince Charmin. Oh, would you settle for a short chubby homemaker? How do you know I'm very fond of you? You have so many good qualities, especially your honesty.

Well... but it's important to have a sense of proportion. Sometimes you go off on impulsive crusades about inconsequential things. You tilt at windmill. I do. Last thing I tilted was a pinball machine. I feel like Don Quixote.

Don Quixote? Don Quixote was a character in one of the great novels about Old Spain. He was a crusader too. He saw every windmill as an imaginary enemy and went charging into it with his land.

Oh, I wouldn't do that. Besides, there aren't any windmills in Malrow Springs. Oh dear, I guess you will never change. Heavy, would it make any difference to you if I did? Well, it might. Well, that means so much to you, our reform.

No more tilting pinball and windmills. Do you really mean that, Harry? You bet I do. You know you mean an awful lot to me, Evelyn. Remember when I used to sing this to you? Evelyn, won't you ever take a shine to that moon?

Remember? Never liner ain't you bothered by that Bob Leanks too? Tell me, tell me how long you gonna keep the layin' the day? Don't you reckon it's wrong?

I flan with your honey this way Never line up won't you pray a little mind to me soon The fruit is fine, but what's the use of smelon? What a melon to another follower's life.

Eeeeep, a-lina! Won't you roll off that vine? And be more... That was nice, Harold. You like it? Great. I'll sing another chorus. Eeeep, a-lina! Hey, down there!

Oop, that's old Doc-y-ack-ack. What does the old horse doctor want now? Eve-a-lina, did one of my animals get loose? Why no, uncle. Oh, I'm good. Oh, I heard a jackass braiding in the fire. I didn't solve it good night, Evie.

My program this morning got you a nice being with Evie last night. Well, from now on, I'm going to change. Yes, sir. No more tilting at Windmill. Hey there! Lover, boy. Good morning, Doc. Morning, Harold.

Yeah, see, you got your little sassa with you, Doc. You're back in the veterinary business? On an emergency call. Ain't got a warm nose down at the dog-bound. Yeah, you were getting a little cozy with my niece in the parlor last night.

Weren't you Green Boat? I do know. I snuck downstairs and took a look. Doc, you ought to be ashamed of yourself. I was kind of sorry. Didn't learn the thing. Oh, that's funny. Uh, Evie is a wonderful Doc.

She's going to make a new man out of me. Yes, sir. You're now looking at the new Harold Himp. Don't look a bit better than the old one. No, we're going to battle for everything.

Say, Harold. Yeah? Except in this morning that our interest in old crusaders like you. What? Cities planning to cut down that big elm tree on Main Street. The one by Hopstad's hardware store? They can't do that, Doc.

Why, that tree is as old as Melrose Springs. She's leaning. Old man, Hopstad claims it might fall on his store. She's just like living under the hanging shore, to dammit, please. Why, the old crab?

I defy the city to cut down that tree. Just wait until I hear my program this morning. Woodman, spare that tree. Tuts not a single bottle. For years it sheltered me and I'll protect it.

Oh. That's a nice poem, but it don't rhyme. I just remembered something, Doc. If the city wants to cut down that tree, it's no a fair of mine. What? It's just another windmill. Oh, it's a tree.

I'm not interested. Not one little bit, Doc. I'm through crusading over these little inconsequential things. Harold, are you sick? What? Let me feel your nose. Yes. Please doc. After all, what if they do cut down that elm tree?

That's because the whole town's grown up around it. All the children played in its shade. Sweetheart scarved their initials in it. Little birds had their happy homes there. See you later doc. Good morning Mrs. Station KSHP, the station of the friendly fast-learning.

Honest Harold the homemaker will be on in 20 minutes. I think, off again on again Harold they ought to call him. Well, good morning Laurie. Good morning Mr. Ham. I've got some good news. You're going to have some new spot announcements on your program.

Well, that's good. Who's the sponsor? Smiling Spockets pawn shop. You know, be happy. Hockett was Spockets. Oh yeah. I pawned my man to win there once. He learned how to play it better than I did.

Oh, Mr. Hand, I saw something in the paper this morning. I think you ought to know. What's that? The City Council vetoed the appropriation for pigeon-bean and boomer park. What? Why those hard-hearted nickel-nursing anti-pigeonists?

They'll hear from Harold Himp. Well, I knew the pigeons could count on you. Yeah, absolutely. Just wait like it on the air. I'll... Oop. No, I won't. I mustn't be a Don Kiodi. Don who?

Gloria, haven't you ever heard of Don Kiodi? Oh sure, I love his rumbum music. Yeah, he plays like a windmill. See you later, Gloria. Oh, Mr. Ham. I forgot to tell you. Mr. Peabody wants to see you in his office and ride away.

Oh, he does, eh? Getting to be a habit. Well, alright. But he's mad because I sent him after a thermowattel last night. Yes, he found out there's no such thing. I don't know why I do things like that to Stanley.

I guess you'll read the right act to me. Might as well go in and face the chin music. Well, good morning Stanley. Hello, him. Sit down. Thank you. That was pretty clever of you last night, sending me to look for that thermal wattle.

Well, it took me two hours, but I finally found it. Oh! You did? I wonder what it is. But that wasn't what I wanted to see you about. Kemp, as you may be aware, my uncle, Mr. Carothers, and the owner of this station is attaining his 65th birthday next week.

Good. The old skin flint. What's that gonna be? Obviously, an event like this calls for a celebration of major proportions. I want to make this a day that will burn forever in his memory. Something that will give him a real glow.

We could set fire to his beard. This celebration must be well thought out, well planned. And an idea just popped into my head. It's gonna be awfully lonesome in there. My idea has to do with Boomer Park.

Boomer Park. As you know, the park was named after General Boomer, a very vague figure in the history of our town. They, well I would- In the view of the many civic contributions, my uncle is made to Melrose Springs.

I propose our city change the name from Boomer Park to Carruthers Park. What? And of course we place that statue of General Boomer with one of Mr. Carruthers. He body I won't stand for that.

General Boomer was a great man. Why, he founded Melrose Springs, but the name is still going to be changed to Corother's part. Over my dead body. That will be a pleasure. Oh. But starting this morning, you were convinced your listeners that you are heartily in favor of the idea.

That's an order. You ought to be ashamed of yourself trying to put something like this over on the people of this town. I won't do it. It's against my principle. Honest Harold, this is no time for one of your stupid crusades.

Don't you call... ... crusades? Ooh, I almost forgot ever liner. What? Stanley. Yes. I despise myself for this, but I'll do it. Good! Well, I want you to know, Stanley, I'm only doing this for love.

Harold, not you, Peabody. I hate you. We'll return for the second act of our story, honest Harold, in just a moment. Three more top stars check in next Sunday, October 1st at CBS, the Stars Address.

Amos and Andy will be back with the King Fish and their other cronies, and Red Skeleton will return for another great season of laughter with Junior, the mean widow kid, Willie Lumplump and Dead Eye the Cowboy. Be listening next Sunday night for the return of Amos and Andy and Red Skeleton on most of these same CVS

stations. Well back to Honest Harrold, who's a little unhappy at this moment. For the first time in his happy homemakers program, honest Harold let the people of Melrose springs down. You said it. Against all his instincts he came out in favor of changing the name of Boomer Park to Corother's Park. Yeah I could bite my tongue on. It's late in the afternoon and

honest Harold is slinking down the hall of the radio station. Good night George. Probably didn't hear me. Good night Jerry. Must be busy working on those W-4 Good night. Snob. Good night, as well face it, honest Harold.

Ever since your program this morning, nobody is speaking to you. Good night, Harold. Good night, P.V.A.D. Good night, P.V.A.D. That goes one windmill. I ought to tilt. Relative. Yes, Gloria? Oh, gee, everybody sure mad at you.

Yeah, I'm aware of that, Gloria. Mr. Feeny calls from the post office. I'm aware of that, Gloria. Mr. Feeny calls from the post office. There's a stack of letters there for you already. He said some of them threatened mayhem.

What's that? Mate, never mind, Gloria. Well, I think I'll run over and see. Have a lie now. Mr. Hamm, do you want me to take the calls to come in for you? No, better not, Gloria.

You're too young to hear that kind of language. Oh, no. Hope Ebby's home. It'd be nice to talk to her. After all, I'm doing this for her. Oh, Chew. Good evening, Doc. Is Evie home?

Nope. Uh, be home soon? Nope. Oh. She's still over, Cruthers. She's taking dictation from him too. Oop. Might... might come in a while, Doc. Can't stop you. Well, heh heh. What's new? Cruthers Park. No, look here, Doc.

Honest, Harold. But Doc, I'm doing this. Do we hear a ghost to prove what I always said? Animals are more honest than people. Never catch a cow trying to sneak on a street car with a three day old transfer.

Stop! Never heard of an air day of being sent to jail for cheating on his income tax. Stop! What else could I do? All I know is I'm disappointed in you, Harold. Coming out in favor of changing the name of Groom or Fark.

You know everybody's against a thing like that. Why, if you keep this up, you won't have a friend in town. I don't care. I'm doing what I think is right and I'll stand by it.

I'm as honest as I ever was. I'm... I'm... I'm a little crawling miserable worm. Mother will have a nice hot supper waiting for me. But I'm not hungry. Can't face anybody.

She might have fried eggs lying there staring at me. Hey there! Oh, hello Billy! Well, suppose you're mad at me too. Mad at you? Why? Then you think I did right about Boomer Park? Absolutely. Pretty clever pal the way you fix the race.

What? Oh man, Corrudders must be slipping you a pocketbook to pull a double cross like this. Billy, I want you to understand that I'm not doing this for money. Sure I know. Why not? I can just see the race.

Boomer Parks, the fable with all the seconds. Her other's Park is a long shot, a pig. Mm, Billy. The horses are on the track. They're at the starting gate. They're off! Boomer Parks leads all the way until the stretch.

And then when they judge, they look and you take the needle, lift up the saddle and jab her other than the hind quarters. Oh, oh, oh, oh. Billy, all you know, such thing. And her other's Park shoots inside the rail and wins by a no.

Oh, for heaven's sake, this is ridiculous. You know very well that I wouldn't have anything to do with a crook and race. Well, maybe it ain't a crook and race, but I just hope they don't give you a saliva test.

Why don't I go home? I'll have to go home sometime. Why did I pick some other place to walk? Boomer Park. Anybody sees me here? I'll get shot. Oh, hello, little pigeon. Come here, nice pigeon.

Whoop! Whoop! Ooh, wait. He's mad at me, too. Ah! What am I gonna do? Who's that? General Boomer's statue. Hello, General. How are things? Just think. Been sitting on that horse for 80 years. Must be getting saddle sore.

I hope you don't mind, General, if they move you out of the park. Maybe they'll put you out in the country someplace with no pigeons. Hate to do this to you, General, but it's for love.

You must understand about love. You had eleven children. Gosh, General, put yourself in my place. A man's gotta be sensible sometimes. Gotta play it safe. You'd do the same thing, wouldn't you? Wouldn't you? No.

No, you wouldn't. I read about you in the Civil War. But the battle of Antietam, you didn't say, let's play it safe. You said, follow me. I'm moving up. And it's Stone Mountain. You didn't say, let's be sensible.

You said it's now or never, boys. Follow me. An admissionary ridge did you say, let's run away today and fight tomorrow? No, you said. Are you with me, boys? I'm going forward. And you won.

General Boomer, I won't let you down. Tomorrow morning, Honest Harold is moving into battle. Pigeons? I mean, fellas? Follow me. And so, listeners, this is Honest Harold, the homemaker, telling you once again that I will oppose, and I urge all of you to oppose any scheme to change the name of Boomer Park.

And I'm sorry I gave you the wrong advice yesterday, girls. And I promise you I'll never let you down again. And that stands no matter what uncle of what nephew might say. Hank, have you gone mad?

The static you just heard is Stanley P. Body. And so folks, until tomorrow, if there is one, this is honest Harold the homemaker saying goodbye. And goodbye, General Boomer. Hank, I'll have your head for this.

Well, all I can say is Stanley, you could use it. Yeah. Hey, he sure is. You know who was listening to your program? Mr. Corrothers. Mr. Corrothers? Was he upset? He wants to see you at his home immediately.

And unless I'm mistaken, he'll give me orders to fire you. You've forgotten one thing, Stan. Oh boy, his wife is one of my staunchest admirers. Why she wouldn't let him fire me. For your information, hint, Mrs. Carothers left on a tip to New York this morning.

Oop, I should have gone with her. Here's Carothers Mansion. Big. Looks more like a medieval castle. Probably has a torture chamber in the cellar for ex-employees. Doors opening.

Sure needs oiling. Come in. So does he. Thank you. Big butter. So you're the butler here, eh? How do you like butling? Must be a silent butler. I'm here to see Mr. Carruthers. Mr. Carruthers, down the hall, down the hall.

Thank you, thank you very much. I wonder what he charged the haunt the radio station. The sure is a long haul. That big tapestry, what's that? And these knights and suits of armor. I wonder if they used to get two pair of pants for those suits.

This must be his study. Anand. At... Mr. Corothers? Mr. Corothers? You'll address me by my military title, sir. Major. Major? That's right. Major Aloysius Corothers, Life Horse, Cavalry III, Petoon National Guard. Who are you?

Harold Himp, B-P-O-E, reporting, sir. I need credit, sir. Thank you. Thank you. You the young fellow at the program of my station? Yes, sir. Honest Harold, the homemaker. And songs. Household hints. Why? I'm right out and say what you mean.

Oh, yes sir, I'll do that. That doesn't mean old boy fire me and get it over with. How are things at the station? I may inspect there one of these days. Ready for inspection? Always be ready for inspection.

Keep your shoes shine. Never volunteer. Remember that. Oh, brother. Well, late and live off the country. Oh, young man, I heard you say something this morning about renaming Boomer Park. Oh, here comes the fire in the squad.

But they're in the wall. And? After the Civil War, battle of Antietam. I'm writing a book on that battle. Look at that pin, the big red one. Know what that is? A USO unit? That serves General Boomer.

General Martin P. Boomer, one of the greatest practitioners of the Civil War. General Boomer? Ptolemy, I'm moving up, Boomer. His words exactly are remarkable soldiers. And that ant-brained nephew of my wife wanted to rename Boomer Park after me.

Doesn't he know the difference between a major and a general? I'll explain it to him, sir. Right. Go back there, hemp, and shake up the outfit. Tighten things up. Tell him to prepare for inspection.

Yes, sir. It'll be a pleasure. Honest Harold, you're dismissed. Dismissed. Oh, you mean I can go? Haha. Are the dee dee dee? Evie. Yes, Harold. You weren't angry with me for breaking my promise.

Well, I know. In fact, I'm very proud of you. You are? There are some things a man has to take a stand on. And I think General Boomer was a very worthwhile crusade. And I'm more convinced than ever that you should run for mayor.

Heavy? Yes. How about moving over a little closer to the next mayor? Well, if you'll promise to be hate. Sure. I promise. All right. Harold, you promised to be hate. That was just a campaign promise, yeah.

You'll guess there is a Harold Perry show, honest Harold. Supporting players included Francis Robinson, Ken Peters, Jerry Merrin, Jack Moils and Will Wright and featured Gloria Holiday as Gloria and Joseph Kearns as old Doc Yak Yak Yak.

Norman McDonald directed and the music was composed and conducted by Jack Meakin. Tonight's script was written by Jean Stone, Jack Robinson and Dick Powell. On Sunday on most of these same CBS stations, Amos and Andy will be heard at this time in their return to CBS, The Stars at Red.

Oh, that's right. The Harold Perry Show will next be heard on Wednesday night, October 4th. October 4th. That's a week from this next Wednesday. Remember that, folks. The night Bing Crosby also checks in at The Stars at Red.

Yeah. Be sure you're listening for the next Harold Perry Show, a week from Wednesday on most of these same stations. Don't forget it. They do now for Percy Pace Orchestra, which follows immediately over most of these same stations.

This is the CVS, the Columbia Broadcasting System.