The Harold Peary Show: Falls for a Chanteuse

The Harold Perry Show. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And now, Harold Perry, as Honest Harold the homemaker. Well, here we are again in the little town of Melrose Springs, home of that popular radio show for ladies, Honest Harold the homemaker.

Honest Harold is a little sad this morning for the line of his life, the lovely Evilina, is leaving puggo. Harold and Evelyna's uncle, Doc Yancy, the veterinarian, are at the station to see her off.

Well, Evelyna, this is farewell. Now, Harold, isn't that serious? She's only going to be gone three days. All right, Doc. Evie, I'll miss you. I'll miss you too, Harold. And I give you my word, Evelyna. While you're gone, I won't even look at another girl.

Hmm, hmm. There you sound like a cap of the gear. Doc, why don't you stick your head on the rail and see if the train is coming. All right, I do have sort of a trained ear.

Well, that'll keep him busy for a little while. The flier is always a half an hour late. Like I was saying, Evie. While you're away, Harold Himp is gonna be true blue. Well, good. Yes, sir. True blue.

And I want you to try and have a good time in Chicago, even though I'm not there. Well, I'll try Harold. Brave little girl. And don't you worry about me. I'll be true blue. While you're gone, I'm going to spend all my evenings at home reading.

Reading? You said it. I'm going to read that book you gave me for Christmas a few years ago. Anthony Adverse. Oh, no. Oh, no. Evie, since I'm going to be true blue, how about little kiss?

Oh, now Harold. But give me something to remember you by. Your kiss had stayed on my lips for three days with that indelible lipstick. Well... Ah, come on. Ah, all right, Harold. I'm coming, Harold.

Oh. And a train pulling in, Harold. Yeah, I heard it doc. Just my luck the first time. She's been on time in two years I'll pick your bag. Give it put them on board. Yeah, good idea Well, this is it Evie. Don't worry about me. I'll be true blue Leave me Evie don't look back. It's easier that way

Yes Hehehehehehe. Abby, you kissed me. Come on, Eve-Lina. Goodbye. Goodbye. Oh, Abby. Bye, Eve-Lina. Watch out for card sharks. Yes. Goodbye. She's gone, Doc. Gone. She's one girl in a million, Doc. If she doesn't have to worry, I'm going to be true, Blue.

Hey, look what got off the train here. I'm not interested. I am. I won't hurt you to take a peek here. Alright, I see her. She can't tempt me. Just because she's got red hair, pink sweater, a lot of curves.

Oop. She winked at me. Come on, Doc. Let's get out. That ain't station cage, Jay P. I'm Dr. Snell. Honey and station KHJP. No, Mr. Ham hasn't come in yet. You're welcome. Good morning, Glory.

Oh, good morning, Mr. Ham. Harold. Well, Gloria, just saw Eveline off at the station. Yes, I see you did. What? I think you look awful cute with lipstick. Oh, well, it's Evelelyne's. I'm gonna wear it for three days.

Oh, it's a very becoming shade. Oh, you like it? It's Congo Red. Harold, I guess you'll be kind of lonesome now with Evelelyne away. Whoa. And if you're not doing anything tonight and want to come over, well...

Er... No, thank you, Laurie, and not that I don't appreciate it, but I'm gonna be true blue to Evelelyne. Yes, indeed. Yes, indeed. Oh. I'm not even going to think about another girl. That goes for that red head that just got off the train.

Oh. Yeah? And the one with green eyes. Pink sweater. Who winked at me? She winked at you. Hell. Gloria, let's get this thing straight. Yeah, the line is the only girl for me. Not going to give a thought to anybody else.

In fact, I'm going to stay home tonight, curl up by the fireside and read a red head with pink sweater, oop. I mean a book. Oh, goodbye. Yeah, this is the way to spend an evening all right.

A nice Morris chair. Good book. Let's see here. Anthony Advers. Hmm, kind of thick. 1,500 pages. I wonder if they ever condensed this for Quick Magazine. Hey, I remember Anthony Advers. It was an old movie.

Can't be too old though. They haven't shown it on television yet. Funny about that redhead at the station this morning. She did wink at me. I think. I'd had a cinder to her eye if she came from Chicago though.

Help, I'm ashamed of you. Thinking about another girl, you're still wearing Oh, you're reading a book. Oh, Big Book II. Yeah, it's not so big. 1500 pages, small print. Oh, Harold, you're not fooling your mother.

Your mind isn't really on that book. I know who you're thinking of. You do? Evolina. Oh, Evolina. Of course. Oh, by the way, Harold, I hear there's a new girl in town. What? Visiting her mother's mother.

What? Visiting her uncle. Comrade Lintica. She came in on the morning train. Maybe you noticed her at the station. Why should I notice her? I understand she's an awfully pretty girl. Red hair, brown eyes.

Green. You know, such a pretty girl. Mother, I want to make one thing clear. The girl means absolutely nothing to me and I have no intention of taking her out. Please, Mother. Don't see why you keep talking about that girl and all I want to do is spend a nice evening at home with this interesting book

Oh, I'm sorry Harold now. You go right ahead and read no, I won't I'm going out for a walk My herald restless tonight. Oh, I know why this is the day he changed to his woolen underwear Well can't stand in front of this pet shop window all night Getting tired of watching those tropical fish swim around.

Guppies. Hey, that one with a bushy eyebrows looks like me. Silly, they'd be upset about that girl. Probably never even see her again. Well, good evening. Good evening. Good evening. It's you. What? Good morning.

Good night. How have you been? I'm just visiting here. And I'm sort of looking the town over tonight. Yeah. I wonder if you could tell me where I might get one of those real small town ice cream sodas.

You know, the kind that are really yummy. Yummy. Well, you can get one down at the drugstore and stop this way. I mean, down that way. Funny I knew where it was this morning. Oh, look at those cute little fish.

Yeah, guppies. Ah, there's one fish chasing another one. Probably trying to catch him for her mate. Catch him for her mate? Oh, he's the one that looks like me. See you later, Miss. That was close.

Glad I swam away in time. Where am I? Oh, there's Evelina's house. Wonderful, Dakiakiaki at his home. Think I'll drop in and talk to him. Take my mind off things. Little horse doctor is probably back here in his animal shed.

Hey come in. Oh my goodness, what a mensory. Which one is you, Doc? I'm in the clinic, Carol. The back wound. The clinic. You kill me, Doc. Now how does this a professional visit? Got the distemper again?

This is a social call, Doc. You thought I'd drop in and play a little game of authors or something? Oh, I'm sorry, Harold. I'm busy tonight. Cool. I'm operating on a patient. What? There she is.

The cat? Steady now, Gertrude. What are you going to do with the Doc? Major surgery. I'm going to clip her nails. Yes, and I'll... Say manicuring a cat. I'm not curing a cat. Ah, see, where did I put my surgical gown?

Oh, poor little good food. Now you little Doc know this hurts, dear. I'll give you an anastasia. Oh, Brian. Gosh, that girl is beautiful. Yeah, it's good to do this kind of pretty. Green eyes, red hair.

Striped tail. Striped tail. Oh! Doc! Well, here on a guessy-art kind of loaned room with ever-lino-way. Well, it is. I can fix you up with the date tonight. Slick young female I know. 25 years old and never been kid.

Who? My horse, Silver Moon. Doc! Well, she needs exercise. And it'll keep you out of mischief. Well, okay, Doc. Hm. Nurse made to a swayback nag. The things I do forever line it. This is kind of nice.

Jogging along in a country rose in the moonlight. You having a good time, children? Hahahaha! Well, happy for us. Yes, sir. This is the way to avoid temptation, alright? Just ride along in the cool air and go home and dream of Carolina.

Yeah, Carolina! Who won't you pay a little? What's that? Car stalled up the road. No wonder it's one of Hank Dutcher's rental cars. Reconditioned reels. Whoa, Silver Moon. Anybody there need any help? Oh, hello.

Oop, it's that pink sweater. Stahl, will I go out of the town and sit out of the mechanic? Give you up, Silver Moon. Couldn't I please ride into town with you? It was me. Well, I...

Stop pushing me, Silver Moon. You wouldn't leave a girl out here in the dark all by herself. Well, no, I guess not. Oh, thank you. Give me your hand. Yeah, take my elbow. Oh, there.

Oh, aren't you the man I saw watching the tropical fish? Yeah, I'm the one with the bushy eyebrows. Get up, silver moon. Oh, silver moon. Ha ha, my, that's a pretty name. Pretty horse. Pretty night.

Pretty warm. I'm Mary Lou Duprey. Aren't you going to introduce yourself? I'm Harold Hymn. They call me Honest Harold. I mean Honest Harold Homaker on the radio. Radio? Yeah. But that's a coincidence. I'm in show business too.

Oh. I'm a nightclub singer in New York. What they call a shuntus. A shuntus? I sing songs of love and passion. Bet you don't bother to get up so many. Songs, songs like this. I've got you under my skin.

You have? Deep in the heart of me. So deep in my heart, you're really a part of me. Have you ever read Anthony and verse? I've got you under my skin. Whoa Silver Moon! Mr. Pray? I can't fight this thing any longer.

It's bigger than both of us. What kind of lipstick do you use? My congo red. Good. Same kind I'm wearing. Oh! Oh! Oh, I missed your hem! I'll hate myself in the morning, but what the heck?

You mind your own business show? We'll return for the second act of our story, honest, herald, in just a moment. But first... I've just read next there is these suspense script, Rave Notis, and I'm sorry to report that it was not one joke in it that I can steal.

However, it's a very fascinating and terrifying story, I promise you. And of course, it will star America's most distinguished dramatic actor, Milton Burrow. Milton Burl. Uncle Milton to you. Thank you. Yes, tomorrow night on Radio's Outstanding Theatre of Drills, suspense. Milton Burl will star in rave notice. Oh, brother.

Suspenses heard every Thursday on most of these same CBS stations. Don't miss Milton Burl on suspense. At CBS, the stars address tomorrow night. Oh, by the way, listen for Harold Perry's important announcement at the end of our show. And now, back to Honest Herald, the homemaker. It's the morning after for Honest Herald. Last night his accidental

meeting with the attractive Mary Lou turned into a romantic interlude. Now in the cold light of day, Herald is filled with remorse. I sure am. I'm a cad. For he lost his head and kiss the charming shun to's well just once I shouldn't have done it no will power aren't you ashamed Harold yes what oh you ever forgive me have a

liner all right now honest Harold is entering the radio station with a heavy tread and a guilty heart Harold him fear a boundary and you wanted to run for mayor good morning Gloria gosh you look a little peek at this morning You shouldn't have stayed up so late last night.

What? Readin' that book, Anthony Adverse. Oh, hahaha. Did he kiss the girl yet? Yeah, he sure did. Oh, hahaha. I think it's noble the way you're staying home at night while Eveline is gone. What a sneaky thing I did.

And oh, how sweet and sentimental. Ah. You're still wearing Eveline's lipstick, conga red. Yeah, I got a fresh coat last night. Ha, ha, ha. Ha, ha. See you later, Gloria. Well, at least nobody knows about it yet.

Why did I ever say... HEMP! HEMP! Get that daze look off your face. Remember me, I'm the station manager. Oh, good morning, station... and Stanley? HEMP! Coming to my office, HEMP! Yes, sir. But he's found out about it.

And he likes Eveleine, too. HEMP! I want to talk to you. I deny everything. What? Anyway, I only kissed her once. HEMP, what are you saying? You've done the same thing, Stanley. A lonely road, silver moon, her perfume.

I didn't know what I was doing. I'm only human. Stanley, stop tugging at my lapels. I don't know what you're talking about. You don't? Isn't that what you wanted to see me about? I called you in to talk to you about your monthly office report.

Oh, the officer boy. Yes. You single-spaced it again and you know it should be double-spaced. Oh, my. How double-spaced is Stanley? How triple-spaced is anything you say, Stanley? You're wonderful. So understanding the nicest boss I've ever had.

Mmm, hell, ooh, mistake! It's on Stanley, but say you look cute with that Cupid's bow in your cheek, it's Conga Red! But Stanley knew something there for a minute. What are my feelings of guilty about?

There's one little kids that didn't mean a thing to either one of us. Hi, boy. Oh, Pete, the town marshal. What are you doing, Pete? Right now, the parking ticket for this bicycle. Too close to the fire clog over heaven's sake You been buggy riding lately boy?

What do you mean, Pete? Yeah, just a minute here. I gotta fill out this ticket. Make a bicycle, charge a roll bucket, comic, fire. Pete, did you see me last night? I sure did, boy.

I wasn't looking for chicken thieves. You're a fucking thief. There was a cute little Rhode Island red you had. It's quite a smooch, aren't you, boy? Look here. Would you try to make a big thing out of this?

Just one harmless little kiss. Didn't mean a thing to me. In fact, I'm never gonna see that girl again. I'm through with her. Yeah, but if she through with you, huh? You asked me, you're in trouble, boy.

Trouble? What do you mean? It's a minute, Harold. Yeah. Distance of vehicle from fire plug four feet. Pete, he did five feet. Pete, I want to talk to you. I will split the difference, Col. Four and a half.

Pete, what did you mean? Is she through with me? Well, I heard about a case like you were just the other day. Bellicist girl, thought he was through with her. What did she do? Shot him in the stomach.

This is... Oh, God, I loved him. But Pete shot them because she loved them. Stop saying that. Pete, you don't think this girl will shoot me? Just a minute here, I've got to finish this.

attitude of driver. And now that's a tough one. Pete, listen to me. Oh, God, the whole thing is a mistake, Carol. Mistake? You mean about the girl shooting the phone? No, the jokes on me.

Making out a ticket from my own bicycle. Oh, great. Good bye. And home tonight, Carol? Yes, mother, I want to finish the book. That's nice. I'll leave you alone, so buy more for Steg, your conference.

Thank you, Mother. That marshal he spoiled my whole day. Mary Lou wouldn't shoot me. This is silly. She couldn't fall in love with me over one little kiss. Of course I am, rather attractive. I was wearing my new Shavie lotion last night.

Why doesn't Harold get here? I can't live another moment without him. There he is. Hello. Come in. Yeah, all right. Let me close the door. I'll just tell her that kiss meant nothing to me.

She won't care. She locked the door. She's hiding the key. Oop. Harold, come sit down. No, here on the floor. What? On this tiger skin. Oh. Hey, see him. Oh, little tiger. Mind if I sit on you?

Oop, big molars. Now, isn't this cozy? Yeah, where'd you get this little old tiger? I shot him. You got a bushy eyebrows too. Mary Lou, I wanted to tell you something. Harold. I can't forget last night.

The moonlight. You and I sitting close in the buggy. That strange fragrance in the air. Oh, that was my shaving lotion. Lumber yardly. You're kissin' the dark. Oh, it's still lingers on my lips. Indelible lipstick. I'll never forget it as long as I live.

You won't? I mean, you won't. Now that I've found you at last, my own true love, I'll never let you go. What? And if you should ever try to leave me, do you know what I do?

You know what I do? I'd shoot you. But you would never leave me, would you, Harro? Oh, no. Why would I want to leave you, Evelelina? Mm? Evelelina? Then there is another woman. You've been deceiving me.

Then you call yourself Honest Harro. The homemaker. It was just one kiss. Mary Lou. What are you reaching in your purse for? Is that a gun? I'm gonna shoot you with this mouser, you rat.

Oh. Wait a minute. That thing's pointing right at me. Mary Lou. Mary Lou. Where's that tiger? Mary Lou, put away that monster. Oh, hello mother. Help me up. Oh, you must have dozed off, Harold.

Oh, I have some wonderful news for you. Dr. Yancey just called. Evelyn is coming back sooner than she thought. She is when? I'm the 8.20 tonight. Isn't that wonderful? Oh, you said it. You better hurry if you're going to meet her.

Oh, mind it, you're pale, Harold. Hope you're not catching another cold. Maybe the doctor ought to give you a shot. If Mary Lou doesn't do it first. Now who's that? Hello. Hello. Mary Lou. Harold?

This is Harold's mother speaking. Harold is near. He's gone to Timbog too. Goodbye. I don't know, Harold. You're always joking. That's what you think. Goodbye. Train isn't in yet. Only honest thing to do is to tell Evelyn of the whole story.

At least if Mary Lou shoots me, I'll die with it clear. Mary Lou, she followed me down here. Harold, I want to talk to you. This is it. I'm glad I wore my new Harry bone.

I'm glad you're here. I wanted to tell you goodbye. Goodbye. My agent phoned me from New York. He has a job for me there and I'm leaving on the next train. You are? Harold, I wanted to clear up one thing before I go.

That little kiss in the buggy last night. I hope you didn't take it seriously. No. Good. Oh, you're very sweet, Harold. But I couldn't fall in love with you in a million years. You couldn't.

Thank you. That's the nicest thing any girl ever said to me. What? Oh, there's my train. Goodbye, Harry. Oh, good bye! Ugh, nice as shantoo, I've ever met. Oh, there's Evelina getting off now. Evelina!

You! Evelina! Oh, how old? You didn't have to come down and meet me. Oh, glad to do it. Gosh, it's nice to see you again. Oh, it's nice to see you. Oh, there you are, Evelina.

Peabody, what's he doing down here? Hello, Stanley. I'm glad you're here, him. What? Evelina, I think there's something you want to know about on this tarot. back was turned he went buggy riding with another girl and that is not he kissed her but there she is just getting on the train that pretty girl is that true

hero yes it is oh that's wonderful huh oh intriguing I didn't realize you had that much charm and dash but a line up Stanley it looks like you've been getting a little romantic yourself. Isn't that lipstick on your cheek? Oh, that's mine.

What? And about ready for another coat. Pucker up, Evelyn. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. You have just heard the Harold Perry show, Honest Harold, who returns in just a moment with an important announcement. The supporting players tonight included Mary Jane Croft, Catherine Card, Viola Bon, Ken Peters, and Polly Bear, and featured Gloria Holiday as Gloria, and

and joseph kerns as old dark yak yak norman mcdonald directed in the music was composed and conducted by jack me honest herald created by harald parry was written by gene ston jack robinson and dick powell now back to harald parry for his important announcement that's me isn't it i just what was that message harald

well bob we talked about it last week for the people who missed it i'm hunting for a laughing lady someone we can invite to appear on our show and all the gal has to do is just laugh that's right here her lap later in the honest how laugh contest it begins right at home time so ladies

if the laugh contest is being conducted in your city please enter and you may be here with us some wednesday night was said that sounds like fun but it is bob come on girls let's all that look at quick magazine for a quick look at herald parry on your news stands tomorrow Milton Burl's voice came to you by transcription.

Now stay tuned for the season's premiere of The Bing Crosby Show with Bob Hope and Judy Garland as special guests. The Bing Crosby Show follows immediately on most of these same CBS stations. Bob Lomann speaking, this is CBS, the Columbia Broadcasting System.