Rocky Fortune: Some Cat's Killed the Canary

Frank Sinatra transcribed as Rocky Fortune. NBC presents Frank Sinatra as that footloose and fancy-free young gentleman, Rocky Fortune. When I was a kid, a couple of maiden ants made me practice a bull fiddle of strength in my character.

It didn't do much for my character because I hocked the fiddle and ran away from home. Every once in a while, though I got a chance to pick up a couple of bucks playing with a small combo at a Polish wedding or a Bumitzvah.

The last job I had was neither. It was more of a funeral. My own. Yeah? Hey, you got him. Where's the monkey by? Well, hi, you jazz boy. Where you been? I mean, a gass about a little flea back all the whole- I've been there.

How's America's greatest bebop horn? Gaining altitude, man. Gaining altitude. Getting tall, huh? Yeah. You mean music? Dad, I don't mean brick laying. Gogs, I haven't played the bass for five years. Also, my instrument is with Uncle.

uncle I hocked it for train fare man that don't signify we'll scuffle up a base for you how much and where this answer bar see in a half hour solid solid plant you now a diggy lake whatever happened to that line I invest the subway token and 20 minutes later I am in a

jungle room with a hotel Zanzibar which is a cheap three-story flea bag on Bleakman Street on the bandstand as Bugsy Barton this five boughs of bough Bugsy is a musician's musician and the boys are playing strictly from Memphis after the set bucks he comes over and sits down with me.

This boy is five feet wide across the chest and he doesn't know from his own strength. Rock boy, give me some skin man. Easy bucks, you're breaking up the metacouples. What's up? My bass player's on his sauce, I need somebody to take his place tonight.

Well, I ain't much of a bass player, Bugs. That don't matter, man. All you gotta do is stand up there and wile up the well, sir. I just want to cover the boy to keep the hotel manager from blowing his top.

Yeah, see what you mean. Where's the fiddle? You go up the Johnny's room, 212. Get his fiddle and come on in. get his feeling come on down johnnie johnnie lament man the best double base you ever laid near drama yeah of course he was to play with goodman didn't he artist johnnie's been all

over town rock man when he's so that he can play all over that instrument it's every register with the cash register uh... what's wrong girl trouble used to have a little thrush called eevee johnson she and johnnie had a fall now to take it pretty hard come on and you better hustle we're on ten minutes

I hop the self-service elevator up to two and look for room 212. It ain't very hard because of the only room with a built-in trombone plan. Yes? This Johnny Laments room, baby? What do you want?

I'm Rocky Fortune. I'm sitting in for Johnny, but he comes in for a landing. Which won't be soon by the looks of him. You still haven't said what you want. Well, pardon me. I need the fiddle.

Don't you have your own instrument? Honey, don't give me a bad time. I need the fiddle. Come in. Thanks. Hello, Sonny. Who is that? Take it easy, Johnny. Evie. Evie, you come back and say you Evie?

Oh, this kid's for Bellevue. Evie. Johnny, go back to sleep. I put some more music on, baby. Put me something sad. If you see my baby, if you send her home to me, if you see my baby, You say that home to me, tell my baby I'm saying it is I can be

Who's that cat? Name's Rocky Fortune, Johnny. I'm sitting in with Bugsina Boys tonight, and I need your fiddle. Sure, man. Anything you say, man? You want a drink, man? At the lowest, honey, give this righteous cat a little drink.

Thanks. I don't touch it, you know. Say, man, you see my EVN place around? It's a little cheek-a-butt so high with his softest blonde hair. You see him, man? Afraid not, Johnny. The fiddle's in the closet, Rocky.

Thanks, baby. I didn't catch a name. I didn't throw it. It's Dolores Kane. I'm Bugsy's new singer. Please to meet you. Hey. Yes? What's the gun on the shell for? Oh, it's Johnny's. Don't worry.

I already threw the bullets out the window. Clove a girl, huh? Thank you. And pretty, too. Thank you. and don't forget the bay's fiddle oh sure come in it's eleven ten miss came a right down mister quay and case no one has informed you miss came i pay you and mister barton to put on a show in my

club at ten thirty there's now eleven ten i'm sorry mister quay we were just i can see what you were just is this drunken packing any going to perform tonight well johnny isn't feeling so good mister quay but mister fortune here is going to take his place fortune I don't believe I've ever heard of him.

Rocky Fortune? Why, he's one of the greatest bass players in the business. I'm paying for the greatest. Rocky, tell me, Mr. Quaid, are you and Dixie had him screaming for mercy at Lijaz Hot in Paris last year?

Well, yeah, I don't want to brag, baby. I'll go on. Well, you see, we was playing a dog watch from 12 to 4. And sudden like Dixie gets off on Japanese sandman. Everybody said Dixie was losing his lip, but that night he was blowing up a storm.

I'm just playing along when Upby comes Bugatti, Bugatti, and every note it was to look like it was greased and stuffed. Pretty soon the cats were jumping and pandemonium breaks loose. French bankers with Taren at close off. You know it took 150 Jean Dom's account to join down. That's very interesting, Mr. Fortune, but the next show

is due to start in three minutes, if you don't mind. Me? I don't mind. See you later, Johnny. Anything you say, man? You see my Evie down there, you tell her Johnny says come back here.

I heard Johnny's been the weep city for and he wants to bite. I shoulder the fiddle down of the jungle room just as bugs you and the boys get off on sweet Lorraine. We start off playing with the French call the in time. We call it in a closet.

After a while the joint starts jumping and for the next five hours I slap that bass until the gut turns black and blue. Also my hand. Half the time I'm in two different keys but nobody cares.

And the fans figure I'm another Addison Fransky because I'm playing notes that don't even exist. about four in the a.m. the whole deal bill so crescendo till I think the top of my head's gonna fly on and then suddenly we're playing 16 bars of Goodnight Sweetheart and it's all over I think okay cut that doesn't thanks rock well

how did it go pal I tell you sweet and groovy like a 90 cent movie man yeah what happens now you won't play guentamor we got a room for you in the third floor if you need a pad for the night 15 bucks 15 you got it solid here's a key He's taken his thing kind of hard, isn't he?

What happened to him? Him and Evie had a big thing. Tonight she walked out, bagging baggage. That's rough. Yeah, that's dangerous for him. Invest heavy and come out of light. Seeing the AM, you're part of the expression, but what time?

The boy stopped seeing double about 11. We rehearsed at 12. I'd like to both fiddle up to the third floor and head for my room. I'd like to do a little bit of work with the police.

I can both fiddle up to the third floor and head for my room. I don't get very far, however, because halfway down the hall, I hear something which ain't music. Hey, what's going on in there?

Take it easy, baby. Wait a minute. Just a minute. What's wrong? In the bedroom. Before I have a look, would your mind put down the knife? No. I didn't even know. Unless that's ketchup on it, baby. Maybe you better tell me what's in that room.

It is impossible. It never is. On me while I take a look don't go away. I Sprint for the bedroom get the door halfway open and I stop They're on the bed is the body of a beautiful little blonde One look tells it all some cats kill a canary All right, Dolores. Let's have it. It can't be come on baby. What happened here? I

Finished singing my last number and I had a drink at the bar Made me sleepy and I came up to the room and passed out I I woke up a minute ago. He was lying on the bed. This knife was in my hand.

Oh, he did not kill her. Oh, I did not. No, just to take it easy. If you did not know who did. No. I swear to you. It happened just the way I said when I saw her. I screamed in the...

Take it easy, but look. Open your eyes. I said, open your eyes. Look at me. Okay. What was that for? Just checking, honey. Somebody slipped your Mickey. Your pupils are contracted. What? The drink. I know it.

You know why anybody would want to frame you for Eve Johnson's murder? Why should I know why? Somebody did, baby. Now come on, we got to work fast. Whoever did this is probably phoned the John Dom's already.

What can we do? I don't know. At 4 a.m. wait a minute. Listen. You go on press the elevator button. What are you gonna do? Get rid of the body. Now get moving. The lowest holds the elevator while I carry Eve's body in.

Then I tell her to hold the button until I can hustle down to the first floor. I hit the lobby just as my good friend Detective Sergeant Hamilton J. Finger of homicide comes on like Buster's gang.

Pardon me Sam. Yes? Homicide, we got a tip on a body in room 310. Oh, there must be some mistake Sergeant. Well, well, my old cellmate, Hamilton Finger. I mind a note. Is this one of your practical jokes, Fortune?

I don't know from what you're talking, Sarge. Step over the elevator with me. We'll go upstairs, Rocky. Anything you say? Look, uh, what brings you here? I ain't sure, but I think it's a carps.

I jab the elevator button and we wait for the car. My pumper is playing footsie with my Adam's apple as the car comes down. And the door is open. And I nearly drop dead. The car is as empty as ever's feel in December.

We ride up to room 310, which belongs to Dolores Kane. Hey, Sarge, what's it all about? You'll find out. Yes? Open up, baby, homicide. Sarge and finger? Miss Kane. Uh-uh. You've met. Dolores thinks for Bugsy, I've been sitting in.

That's Musician's talk. Ah, now, you mind if I look around? Help yourself. You mind if I ask you what you're looking for? We got a phone call so there was a dead woman in this room.

That isn't very flattering. What's in that? Take a look. Empty. I think somebody's been pulling your legs, Sergeant. Both of them. Where's the bedspread? In the hamper. Excuse me. I suppose this is nail polish.

How did you know? Yogi. Mind if I take it down the lab for analysis? If you'll have it, Lon, dude. Okay, what's in the closet? Oh, that's a small dragon named Lon's law. Carefully doesn't bite you.

Funny. Boo. Okay, I'll have the bedspread analyzed for blood stains. Now don't go away either, won't you? We wouldn't think of it. Nighty night's size. And no more practical jokes, you understand? What did you do with it?

What? The body. It's in the elevator. Not anymore, it ain't. What do you mean? It never made the first floor of the car was empty. It's impossible. Eve Johnson's body didn't walk out of that car, baby.

Somebody lifted it. But... What's that mean somebody must have stopped the car on the second floor? Correct. The next question is who would want to steal a corpse? What do we do? Well, finger's gonna find blood stains on that spread.

And when he does, he'll be back with some ticklish questions. And I gotta hunch, we better have the answers. Let's move. We start a room-to-room canvas of the second floor. Dolores takes one car and I take the other.

Result? A big fat goose egg. I finish my car and go look for Dolores. She's gone, but from the sound of voices, I figure she stopped off to see how Johnny Lament is making out.

I started going on but I changed my mind. Johnny cut it out. She's dead and my little Evie's dead. No, don't be crazy. You ain't crazy baby, not anymore. That makes you think she's dead.

I could see it in your eyes when I asked your body. But it matters so much. She walked out on you, didn't you? She'd come back if she was okay. I know Evie. Come on, Dolores, what happened to her?

How should I know this? You know baby, you said you was gonna kill her. Get out of your head. told me she says Johnny boy Dolores is jealous of you and she says if I don't stop seeing you she'll kill me. Good not true. Come on baby I know you we were married once you may remember. Now let's have it would you do the E. Nothing. Don't

watch baby that just don't wash. Johnny stay away. You're gonna tell me honey where's E.V. what'd you do to her? Johnny you're crazy drut. I don't want to talk. Johnny yeah. All right, hold it John. Get out of here. Knock it off. You all right, baby? Not that I really care Sit down jazz ball. She a new boyfriend, baby. Is that unlike his face and I think I changed sit down

He's all right. I had a belt him and I ought to clip you too. I don't understand. I heard it baby. I got big ears You didn't bother to tell me you were married to Johnny the men and you didn't bother to tell me you You and Eve had a slight falling out.

I wanted you to help me. I was afraid. You wanted a Patsy baby and you got one. Only you're about to lose him because Rocky Boy is going to walk away from all this right down the nearest police station.

Rocky, no. All that builds about how you were framed and me with my open mind. I got a hole in my head. Rocky, it's not true. Yeah, well tell Dick the fun loving robo boy when he comes to I leave his fiddle in the band room.

So long baby. And the next time you want a corpse move, call the seven Santini brothers. I don't belong to the right union. Put it up to my room as mad as a centipede with a hot foot and lug the big bass fiddle down to the band room Which is right across the hall from Johnny the men's room

The empty fiddle case is standing in the corner. I start to lay it down flat and weighs about a ton and Even before it slips out of my hands. I know why holy smokes Okay, fly boy get him up high So you're the guy who was all busted up about losing his best girl back against the real nice guy.

Kills his doll and tries to hang it on his ex-wife. You're a dawg buster. She found out I was pushing dope and threatened to go to the cops. I had to kill him. Why you crummy dope peddler. It's misfits like you to give honest musicians a bad name.

They'll run your mouth at me, Fortun. If you'd have kept out of it, you'd be all right. You're gonna have a tough time trying to get rid of two corpses, John boy. A fiddle case only holds one.

I'll worry about that. Turn around. Sure pal, anything you say. Only before I do. There's one thing I think you ought to know. Yeah. Dolores took the bullets out of your gun. Hello. Hello. Yes, please.

Who is this? Listen, Quay. This is Rocky Fortune. I'm up in the band room 215. Now listen. He's Johnson's body's up here in a base fiddle case. And I got the cat that killed it.

And get the cops and make it fast. Stretch out like a herring. That's just fine, Lisa. Make it fast. I hear somebody coming now. Don't worry. Takes about two seconds before lightning strikes. How did Quaid know she was stabbed?

And how did he know it was a man? Suddenly little wheels start to spin around in my noodle. Quaid is in on it. Sure he is. He's probably supplying Johnny the Met with the stuff.

And what's more, he's undoubtedly on his way up here right now. I start to pick up Johnny the men's 45 and remind myself that Dolores can't just remove the bullets. My hand turns the door knob, but it can't be quite so soon.

I just pray that one of the cats has come to get his instrument. The door opens. I freeze. Hey, hey, Dad. Put the thing down. You gone goony? Bruxy. Brother, am I glad to see you.

I'll put down the heater, man. What's going on in here? Take a look in that fiddle case. Oh, he smokes. E. Yeah, here's the little boy who did it. Jai? Admitted it. I had to flatten him.

Well, you did real good. Not good enough. Listen, bugs. The manage is on his way up here right now, and unless I miss my guess, he's got heavy artillery. Oh, Kwe? Is he in on this?

He is now. I got to get out of here. What you gonna do? I got a sudden brain stone. Look, help me get Eve Johnson's buddy out of this case. Come on, pal. Get with it.

Come on. OK. Yeah. Where to? In the closet. Yeah. Atta boy. Now dump laughing boy into the bass drum. Right. Now open the door. You think you can lift that case with me in it?

Are you kidding? Atta boy muscle man. Here goes. Alright what you want me to do? Now look you just walk out like you're on your way to a jam session. Once I get past Quaid and there's artillery I'm alright.

Okay. Watch your hand. Here goes. How you doing? Cut the lip dribble and get gone before I get blue. The fiddle case fits me like a fatal disease, but I squint down a whole my breath and I figure maybe we'll make it.

Buggy boy picks me up like I weigh in at three pounds just as the door opens. Alright fortune, get your... Hi Mr. Quaid. Oh, did you? Are you expecting somebody else? I was expecting a fortune.

Did you get away? Fortune? Oh, you mean the bass playing? You know who I mean muscle brain, did he get out? You know me better than that boss. I got Rocky Fortune right here. inside the fiddle case.

So there I am. Smart? Ha! They don't come any smarter than old Rocco Fortunato, Jack. It never occurred to me that this hotel might be operating an narcotics dodge and that my pal Bubgie might be in on it.

But I'm real tricky, I am. Yes, Sir E. I outwit the crook by crawling into a base fiddle case and letting them snap the catch on me. And there I hang like a cured ham.

Wait me, boil and hot fat. What are we doing, boss? Let me out of here, you punk! Get him out of here. Why don't we just drop him down the air, Chef? It'll look like an accident.

Don't be a jerk, take him down to the river. Anything you say, boss? Hey, hey, hey, hey, watch this shot up! What a temperous cat has got. Come on, bugs, he don't waste any... Who's that?

Search me? Open up! Who is it? Police! Just a moment. Drop him out the window. Hey! Open up! What's going on? It's so long, sucker. Okay, open the door. What's going on here? I'd like to know Officer.

We came in and found this musician knocked out on the floor. Yeah. Where's Fortune? Fortune? I haven't seen him. Have you been to? Fortune? Oh, not a hide. Not a hare either. Well, I know he came in here to return the fiddle.

Must have left then. Maybe he's in his room. Yeah, yeah. He might have been here, but he left. Come on, Miss. We'll go up to his room. Something wrong, Officer? Yeah, Fortune's wanted as an accessory to murder.

Hold it! Oh, no. Rocky, what are you doing out there? I don't know, believe this, Sergeant, but I just climbed out of a fiddle case. These hoodlums dropped me out of the window onto a fire escape one flight down.

What? He's obviously crazy, probably drunk. How crazy, brother, than how about opening that closet door? Because I've had a hallucination that Eve Johnson's body's inside. I'd like to oblige, Fortune, but you see, I've got another plan.

Crap, Florida, buddy! Alright, don't move, either one of you. I'm standing still. Open the closet, Rocky. Had enough for you, Sergeant. Yeah. It'll do for the time being. All right, let's go, you two. Keep an eye on Dreamboat there.

So, well, if he comes to a belt and with a fiddle. Let's go. Hey, all right, Rocky? If I can ever straighten up, I'll be fine. What happened up here? Oh, Sergeant came back when he found out those were blood stains, and I told him the whole story.

We came down to look for you, and... Well, I guess you know the rest. Uh-huh. You...sure you're all right, Rocky. I'm fine, baby, but... I was just thinking. What? What they would have said if that fire escape hadn't have been there.

What would they have said? Man, dig that crazy base fiddle. NBC has presented Frank Sinatra as that footloose, fancy-free, and frequently unemployed young gentleman, Rocky Fortune. Tonight's cast included Jack Crucian, Jean Tatum, Tom Holland, Frank Gerstle, and Bonnie Phillips.

Tonight's script was written by George Lefferts and Andrew C. Love directed. This is Eddie King speaking. Now to tell you about next week's adventure, here's Frank Sinatra as Rocky Fortune. Did I ever tell you about the Broadway actress who was involved in the murder of a drama critic?

And when I asked her for a autograph, she gave it to me with a 45. Tell you about it next week. See you around. Visit with Thiver McGee and Molly tonight on the NBC Radio Network.