On Stage: The String Bow Tie

Transcribe. Kathy and Elliot Lewis on stage. Kathy Lewis, Elliot Lewis. Two of the most distinguished names in radio. Opening tonight in their own theater. Starring in a repertory of stories of their own and you're choosing.

Radio's foremost players in radio's foremost plays. Drama, comedy, adventure, mystery, melodrama. Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Elliot Lewis. Good evening, may I present my wife, Kathy. Good evening. Tonight is our opening night and tonight is the first day of the New Year, so we're going to do a comedy for you to start our new series.

Something like a spray of confetti to go with a season. A story about a young man and his wife in 1953. Nice people, not rich, not poor, happy with each other, you know, nice. So tonight we present String Bow Tie by Morten Fine and David Friedken.

My name in the play is Gerson Hapsmith. And I'm Laurie Hapsmith. And we're married and we live in New York. The opening scene has to do with Laurie. She's got a seat on the Seventh Avenue subway.

It's New Year's Eve afternoon and she's on our way home from work. At the moment, she's upset because the seated man next door is working the crossword puzzle and doesn't know the three-letter word for the web-footed diving bird of the Arctic Sea.

Laurie knows. Auk. Hmm? Sixteen down. It's Auk. A-U-K. Now extinct. It's very cold in the Arctic. Here's the paper, you work it out. Yes, thank you. Bye! That's Laurie, easy to get along with, even on a subway where people are pretty tough to get along with.

To make a point out of it, Laurie, in a way she knows, makes herself smaller so that very large woman will have ample room on the seat. You crowded, dear? No, not at all. You have a pencil?

Sure, Derry. Wait, I'll find it. There's somewhere. There's... Got it here, someplace at my place. Oh, here. Thank you. I like to wear crossword puzzles on my way home. Oh, thanks. They're extinct now, Derry.

Yes, I know. Zowie. Which one, honey? A cross or down? Up there on the advertisement. Where? See, the one between the termite service and the cheese crackers. Zowie. Oh, you mean the picture of the man in the string bow ties sitting at the piano?

Skepto, a man's cologne to quicken the pulse of women. Ah, you know something? Why? I understand perfectly the emotions of those four women seated at his feet. Oh, look at that man. Derry, uh-huh. Let me know when we get to Times Square.

Yesterday I ended up in Bronx Park just staring at him. That fella's a real beauty. You really think so, huh? Just me? Well, you're all over town. Ladies stand around staring at Myron. Oh, no wonder.

The way he sits there at the piano. Hands poised over. Who knows what strange melody. The greater that fellow. The passion of my husband. Down to his fingertips. Smoldron. Written all over him. He's my husband.

Honest. What's his name? Gerson. Gerson. Gerson what? Gerson Hapsmith. Derry, what? Let me ask you something, no. Zowie. Honey, this is Times Square. Who needs it? I've got a little shop to do in Bronx Park.

Gerson? I'm home, Gerson. Oh, hi. What are you doing? I was trying to write a slogan for the agency. What a card. Lemke Water Biscuit account. Hmm. It's going to be tough. What rhymes with Lemke?

Mmm, come here, Lori. Hi. Mmm. I want to tell you something, lover. What? It happened again today. On the subway? Mmm-hmm. Did I have a big house? Mmm-hmm. Moved. Then there was a woman who sat next to me.

Blonde? Renette? Both. Oh. Honey, you're the heartbeat of the subway circuit. You know what that woman said about your picture? Zowie. You don't know the half of it. Tell me the half of it. Mr. Honeywell at the agency called me in and said they formed a fan club in Bronx Park.

Do me a favor, Gerson. Sure. Kiss me. Anytime. Five million quickening pulses in New York. Gerson, you are my man. You have baby. Baby? You jealous? Why should I be jealous? Just to be Mrs. Hapsmith is all I ever wanted.

It's crazy the way it happened. Four years ago when the model didn't show up, Mr. Honeywell tapped me for the job, pulled me away from my typewriter, thrust a stringed bow tie in my hand. And said, this is it, Habsmith? No, no, he didn't. He just told me to climb into the bow tie and run upstairs and sit in front of the piano. Four years ago, and they just released

it. Now my pictures and every bus and subway in New York. You know what Mr. Honeywell said to me today? He asked you for the bow tie. No. He said, this is it, Habsmith. We've just The nine-star meat account I want you to pose for it in mutton chop whiskers. Oh No, you won't not my gerson not in mutton. That's what I told mr. Honeywell

The place in an advertising agency for me is in back of a typewriter making up slogans. That's telling mr. Hi. Well Come on. Let's get dressed baby New Year's Eve Manhattan You where the off the shoulder? You wear something for me to what string bow tie?

You kidding? I want to show you a... Aww, you're kidding. To all of New York, the man in this string bowtie is mine. No, listen, baby, I... That the woman behind the man who quickens the pulses is me.

No, baby. You just run along so that that bowtie goes... I don't even know how to tie it. Mr. Honeywell tied it for me. Anything Honeywell can do for you, I can do? Mr. Honeywell.

They do. You really want me to? Please. Baby. You don't have to say please to me. just go get the bowtie. Yeah, there's a seat. Come on. I don't know. I don't know why you're just going out on New Year's Eve.

Everything is so wonderful. Even a crowded subway. I want to tell you something. Here we are 12 feet underground. What figures? There's two of us. No. I mean here we are. You and I rushing around in a subway and a crowd of people.

I'm not crowded down the other end of the car, Gerson. Why did you have to pick a seat right under your pickle? Let me finish, will you? Sorry. Crowd of people, and I feel like we're alone, Lori.

Percling through space alone. Why'd me please? Could I just squeeze in here? Well, here I'll get up. Oh, no, you don't. You just sit there. I'll squeeze in between you. Mm-hmm. You mind scootching over a little madam?

Mm-hmm. There we are. Gerson? I'm over here, Lori. Mm-hmm. Mr. Yeah? You're a skirt, so, aren't you? When you got on I told my girlfriend Janice, there's scared so the man in the string both tied.

And Janice said to me, she said, every time you get on this subway you start dreaming. Oh really? Janice? Wait, Janice. Yes, alright. Hi Janice! Young lady! Listen madam, you've had him since 23rd Street, don't be a horde.

I'm going to feel silly saying it, but I'm going to say it. This man is mine. Put your money where your mouth is madam. Ask him. Hey, Skezzo. sketch out. Are you hurt? She's my wife. Well if she is your wife, pray tell. Who are those four girls on the advertisement who are scattered beneath your piano?

Well they're models, that's all. Just girls. That's all I am. Honest young lady. Yes madam. Beat it. Blow. Go tell Janice she wants you. Look madam. You might be married to him and all, but I'd like to explain the facts of life to you. The The minute he got up in that advertisement, he belonged to humanity, female type.

Can I fix you both ice-get you? Yes, go right ahead. Yes, where we get off, Gerson. No, the lady just wanted it. You belong to humanity, Gerson, and they're waiting for you up there. That's hurry before the door slams in your face.

Gerson, you do a stunning waltz. Four, four is my favorite temple. Having a lovely time. Me too. Oh just dancing like this beautiful cafe champagne. You feel a champagne? Me too. Me too Let's go back to the table and have some more champagne. Love that song what song song the orchestra is just playing Tennessee walls

Let it be our song. All right. Here's our table. What are you singing? I saw That's not the Tennessee walls baby our song goes like this. Oh, oh, oh my god. Pardon me friend. Yes, what is it? You the boy that posed for that perfume in?

Giving your autographs to him. No, we don't bother with the pencil friend, just the question. Are you? Am I what? The buster who sits at the piano? See, I only ask because you weren't a bowtie like him, you got a face like him.

The only difference is you only got one dame and no piano. Come here. I'll tell you. Yeah. I happen to be that chap. Uh-huh. Well, I'll tell you what chap I happen to be. Just put your hand on my pocket and feel.

That's right, man. Now, take your hand out. What did you feel, Anne? A Smith-Weston 38 snubbed nose series 1927. Hey, Laurie, you know what was in his pocket? A Smith-Weston 38? Stay the check, dear, and let's leave.

Shut down, lady. I should sit down. You and him, how must it? You're him, who must've? Sure. That's all I wanna know. I bought you. You talk to me like that again and I'll scream.

Well, before you do, lady, I wanna tell you something. You, you, uh, know the Hudson Tunnel? Sure, we take from them all the time and we go to Jersey. Yeah, well, you know that concrete pedestal that the policeman stands on?

It's just before you hit the Jersey sign. I know it very well. You remember it, Laurie? It's my favorite. Yeah, mine too. That particular concrete pedestal is composed of five ingredients. Sand, cement, and tree of my favorite voice.

Just because they wouldn't pay any attention to me. So, would you please, would you pay attention to me? We're all ears. Show up, Botea. Now let's go celebrate New Year's Eve, shall we? My way.

You're listening to Cathy and Elliot Lewis on stage. Tonight's play, The String Bo-Tai. Lori? Yes, dear. Is he still there? Yes, dear. Keep walking. Come on over to the car.

Look, look, Mr. Why are you doing this to us? You want our money? Why? Keep walking. But who are you? Why are you picking on us? 1953 is going to be a nice year, so do yourselves a favor. Live through it.

All right, I'm not back. All of us, come on, let's go. All right, Thomas, take us home. Yes, sir, Mr. Bailey. Um, Mr. Yeah. It's on account of this string bow tie, huh? Son of a kind of that.

Hey, busta. Me? Yeah. How come that when you stuck your hand in my pocket, you knew right away without looking at the gun was a smitten wesson 38 snub nose series 1927? Am I working in advertising agency?

I wrote a slogan for it for catalog. Well, yeah? How'd it go? Use a smith wesson and be sure. Oh. You know, you just happened to be the fellow You want a homemade me switch from a cold 45?

I hate to louse up your testimonial, but I'd like to point a few things out to you. You're untied, hold on. This is a very serious offense. Kidnapping us out of a nightclub, taking us to a place or places unknown, and for such a flimsy reason, because my husband is on a subway card.

I hate him. Me? Where I ever do to you? You'll see. Look, sir. I just happen to be a fellow named Gerson. I just happen to be a fellow named William Bailey. Who hates you?

Where are you taking us? You'll see. Gerson? What? Say something. Make Mr. Bailey realize that he's not dealing with a cardboard personality. Make him know what's in store for him if he doesn't let us off right away.

Yeah, make me do that, go on. Mr. Bailey? Yeah. This is madness. That's all you're going to say, Gerson? Gerson, you are my man. Yeah, Mr. Bailey, you don't think you're going to get away with this, do you?

What's the big idea of holding a gun on us and marching us out of a nightclub, making us walk down the street, making us get into a long black car and driving us away? What's the big idea of that, huh? This is civilization we got going for us here, fellow.

There's no place in it for the primitive, the predatory emotion. You say you hate me. I don't hate you. My wife doesn't hate you. Although the seed is there. You think the world's against you, don't you? Well, somewhere down the line you've been tricked, Mr. Bailey. Bill.

disillusioned on our luck just because I posed for an ad Hey, I know what I'll take off the string bow tie and touch that tie and I will break your arm Here here and here Listen you you hudlem renegade malfactor You listen to me you hudlem you leave my husband alone. It isn't his fault. He's wearing that string bow tie

I made him put it on Anything that's going to happen should happen to me, not him. Maybe. Maybe what? A dame and a Hudson tunnel. Hmm. A dame. That'll pose quite a problem for our concrete mixin.

Wonder if he knows the recipe. Just flop people. Come on. Inside. Uh-huh, you like it, eh?

Well, you must be the greatest toodlem of them all to be able to afford this, Mr. Bailey. Well... Earnation such beautiful taste such exquisite decor. You ought to be proud of this place. Oh yes, I am. I am. And I can tell you this lady, there is never going to be another place like it.

I... the decorator. Yeah. Hudson tongue. The one in the middle. Yeah. Carolyn. That's you Billy. Yes me. It's me. Come on out here. I got something for you. Hi. Me? You're cute. Him?

He's cute. Carolyn. My he's cute. You like him, eh? Tell him to walk around. Walk. Walk? What do you mean? Listen, you, my wife wants you to walk, so do it. I don't understand. I'll stick his head right in the light socket, so help me.

Wait a minute. Wait a minute. I'll explain it to him. Gerson honey, the man's got a gun. He's pointing it at you. He wants you to walk. You know how that bit goes. First this foot and then that foot and then before, you know.

Okay, okay, yeah. All right, that's enough. Come back. Well, you know why I brought him here, Carolyn? Because you love me, Billy. Billy loves me. I brought him here so that you can see in a flash this guy that you have been moping over since you saw that advertisement in the subway. Billy's good to

me. What's your name QD? Gerson. You see Billy I told you. You guessed his name was Gerson. He's cute. She. Carolyn. Carolyn I'm talking to you. Yeah. I want to prove to you, Carolyn, the Disgration who sits in front of a piano on the Skate So Colone, and he is a Gison, like any other Gison. He's just a guy, see? He is not somebody who every

morning, noon and night, you say to me, why ain't you like him Billy? I can see that the only way to have a piece of quiet around here is to do what we can here to do so get the bottle carol, isn't it?

I get it here. You ever seen a bottle of his stuffed face? Well, yeah, sure, that's scared so. The men's cologne that me and my bow tie and the piano are supposed to quicken pulses with.

It's the large economy since... It's... Oh, have some. Now look, Mr. Bailey, Gerson just dabs that stuff behind his ears he doesn't drink yet. Alright, Mr. You got us up here and threw a bottle of cologne in my face.

Now what do you want me to do? See that piano? Sure. Play. Sure. Then we can go. You can't play. See, Caroline can't even play. So, goodbye to one another. Who says I can't play?

He plays. Sure. Well, that's good. That's fine. Great. I'm glad that you canceled. We can clear this up. Listen, Gison, you've got the bow tie. You stink of scoit cell, and now you're going to play.

There is just one thing. You quicken my wife's pulse and you are dead. So go play. Oh my, you like it? Go, go. Hey lady. What? Please note the vein of my wife's throat. There is a trap there that wasn't there before.

It's been 17 years since I have seen that trap. Why that? No, no, no, just take it easy, Mr. Bailey. Callen. Callen. Callen. He is good, isn't he, Callen? Good. Look at him. The way he sits there.

The way he sits there. Fingers poised over. Who knows what's strange, Melody? Strange, Melody. The talons that Gerson has. Tell me, tell me. All sorts of things. Tell your husband to turn around because I hate to give it to folks in the back.

Just one second more, Mr. Bitty. Carol and honey. Yeah. He does all sorts of things. You think his piano playing is good. Oh, I do, I do. You ought to hear him whistle. Oh, my.

Uh, just a minute. Yes, ma'am. Whistle. Whistle what? Well, I don't know anything. Our song, Gerson. Oh, yes. Will, all right. You like it? The Tennessee Walt is my favorite. That does it. You can have him.

Don't you see? He's not for me anymore. What do you mean? Those two may for each other listen to me, Mr. Valey. Bill. Why should I try to fight it or you? Why don't I just kill him?

That's a good idea. Don't you see? It's the only way. Get him out of our lives once and for all. This, this, this man, this monster, this record of home. And Laurie. Be quiet, you record of home.

Oh, hey, Laurie. No worries. I said be quiet. What kind of a way is that for a lady to talk to her husband? Yeah. This man gets his face displayed in the subway and what happens?

After eight years, he's not mine anymore. He belongs to the world. Who needs him? Hey, lady, that is your husband. Yeah. Killed. And after 18 years, your life. What is it? Shambles. Get rid of him.

Lady. Do it now. Lady, he's your husband. You'll be doing a good deed, baby. That is no way to talk about your husband. Now, look, I'm old it. And you and I know. You hide a fellow when you talk about him like that.

Yeah. Poor boy. Yeah, you're married to him, so be married to him. True, thick and thin. Yeah, it's the only way. We know, Carolyn and I. Yeah. Yeah. Come here, sit by me, Carolyn. I hear by my feet.

Now where was I? True, thick and thin. Yeah, true, thick and thin. The years come, the years go. But it is always a pleasant thing to have by your side. One's helped me. Dear Billy.

Move over, honey. I want to surprise me too. As one sails his ship to the great sea of life, knocked about by the storm on his strike. Let me sit down too. Pardon me. You settle?

I uh, I uh, I'll go. By the storm and the strike. Uh, yeah, knocked about by those things. Then there's a friend. One reaches calm waters. Billy. Yeah. I feel so sentimental. Me too. Play something for us Billy, on the piano.

Oh, hey. Oh, hey. Come on. Well, alright. He's been taking lessons for almost a month now. Since you're at a period, Garrison. Mm-hmm. Come on. Let's steal away, son. Yeah, alright.

Mr. Bailey? Yes. Bye now. Have a happy new year. Yeah, you too. Remember what I told you, lady. I'll remember. Ooh. You satisfying? Very. I saved your life. You almost got me killed. You and your ideas.

I didn't want to wear this string bow tie. Yes, dear. Ring for the elevator, dear. Mm-hmm. Well, come on, Laurie. Let's go out into the world and have us a happy new year. Can you make room for me, dearie?

Oh, sure. Say, don't I know you? Oh, of course. We talked the other day. I borrowed a pencil from you to do a crossword puzzle. I know you. You're the girl who's married to that man in the string boat tie.

That's right. But whatever happened to him. What do you mean? He's not up there in the ad anymore. Now there's another gent, the man standing by a fireplace, with those four hounds at his feet.

hounds at his feet and that man and that ad there and mutton chop whiskers. Ah, Zoe. You like him as well as the man in the string bowtail? Oh, better, better. Look at those whiskers, dear.

How would you like to run your hand through them? I have. Huh? He's my husband. Him too? Ooh, what do you do with the other one? Get rid of him? Eh. New year. Oh. Deary, let me ask you something about the new one in the mutton chop whiskers.

Sow weee. The String Bo-Tie starring Cathy and Elliot Lewis. Now once again, Mr. and Mrs. Lewis. We'd like to thank our good friends Sheldon Leonard and Mary Jane Croft, who came down tonight to help us start the New Year and our new series by playing Mr. and Mrs. Bill Bailey.

Yes, and Martha Wentworth, the lady on the subway, Vivi Janis, who helped fix my tie, and Byron Kane, who couldn't spell Auk. Now next week, Kathy? Well, just before we went into rehearsal today, we got a copy of next week's play, The Drunken Sailor.

It was written for us by a very fine new radio writer, Richard Chandley. It's a spy story, exciting, and, well, you'll see. Yeah, and a week after that, a comedy about a nice girl and a bum.

Johnny Dollar brings you colorful mystery Friday nights on the CBS radio network.