Have Gun, Will Travel: Strange Vendetta

Sit down, gentlemen. Sit still. I've come to order a coffin for the first one of you. Make some move. Have gone. Will travel. Starring Mr. John Dainer as Paladin. San Francisco. 1875.

The Carlton Hotel. Headquarters of the man called Paladin. Evening Mr. Paladin. Evening. Oh, you're the paper, Mr. Palerini. Oh, thanks, hey boy. Excuse please, must go, lady, look for me. Lady? What lady? Well, I should say it is a lady.

Oh, very sorry, could not catch ticket to opera. Oh, so am I. I still hope to see the next performance. And you still can. I couldn't help overhearing your difficulty. I have an opera box if you would care to be my guest.

Oh, thank you. But we could not pursue on your courtesy. We. My husband and I, Senor. Paladin. Oh. Now of course the invitation extends to him also. We have been looking for you my dear.

Oh Miguel, Senor Paladin, this is my husband, Senor. Oh, Senor. And Dr. Mejio. Great pleasure Mr. Paladin. Dr. Mejio. Senor Paladin has kindly offered us his box at the opera tonight. There were no more tickets.

Very kind. Dr. Mejio is of course included in my invitation. That's very gracious of you Mr. Paladin. The invitation is accepted. We accept on the condition that you join us and be our guest for dinner, Mr. Paladin.

Is that not correct, my dear? Quite correct, Mr. Paladin. Until this evening then, when is this? Mr. Paladin? Oh, your husband, no like you! I'm afraid you're right. But then why should he? No one could be more at home with history than Edward Armiro.

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Oh, yes, yes, of course. I have sorry, Mr. Paladin. Opera is not one of my special likes. Which one was this? The Marriage of Figaro by Mozart. Oh, yes, of course. Well, at any rate, Don Miguel's wife seems to have enjoyed it.

Danya Maria is a remarkable woman, Dr. Mango. MENT to savor and enjoy beautiful things. And I might comment for your particular benefit, Mr. Paladin, that Don Miguel is a remarkable man. Wait a minute. Uh-oh, what is it?

Someone behind the curtain. What? Don Miguel! Look out! Please, Donnie Maria, Dr. May, you would do all he can. Paladin, he needs treatment at once. We'll have to get him out of here. Is using your fellow, then?

Yes, any news? No, not yet. We are still waiting. I spoke to the police. There'd be no trouble. It was a clear case of self-defense. The man attacked your husband and was shot down. Lucky he done Miguel was armed.

Yes. Yes, he always armed. I do not know. Did you see the man who attacked your husband? Of course I saw him. Did you know him? No. The man looked very surprised at the way things turned out.

Oh, I thought he'd make you hurry. Don't you, Maria? Has done Miguel ever been attacked like this before? No. Yes, yes, he has. There is none to lie about it. It's an insane blood feud that has caused many lives already.

This was bound to happen. They failed tonight. They will not feel another time. Blood feud? Perhaps I can help? This is not a tragic opera, Senor. In this case, that is very... Dr. How is he?

He's resting quietly. You may go to him now, Donia Maria. Donia Maria. Yes. Give him my card. This is not time for fun. Have gone. We'll travel. Give it to him. Please. See how he...

Well, the wound itself isn't too serious, but I don't like the looks of it. Why, Doctor? What's the problem? There was poison on the knife blade. Nothing familiar. familiar a plant substance of some sort. The question is will done Miguel live? Yes.

For perhaps a week you have told me I'm dying. That is why I sent for you after I read your card. My wife has told you I've invented. Yes. Yes she did. What do you want?

Revenge? My task for you is much more personal. I want you to escort my body safely to my home in Santa Martino and delivery there to my wife. Tanya Mario, isn't she here in San Francisco?

I sent her home this morning. I wish to die unobserved. Someone once commented, you are a remarkable man. Don't I misconstrue my sentimentality? The vendetta against our family includes a threat of mutilation of the body, which case the best reality is complete.

I would prefer that it did not happen to my body. Will you take the job? One thousand dollars and expenses. We have a bargain. Good. You'll be paid by Maria. Have fun, save delivery, my body in Santo Massino.

Thank you, Senor Palini. Big robbery in San Francisco. What did you say, hey boy?

Big robbery in San Francisco! Two hundred, twenty thousand dollars! Oh, very careless! You read? No, I was reading something else. Don Miguel Rojas, distinguished visitor from Mexico, died last night of knife wounds, suffered last week, when he was attacked by an unidentified assailant while attending the opera.

Mr. Paladin? Yes. I am Mr. Wilkins. Oh, yes, the mortician. You sent for me. May I be of help you? You can turn one of your clients over to me, Mr. Wilkins. They laid Don Miguel Rojas.

Here, this is a letter of authorization. The body is to go into Mexico. You need a certificate to cross the border, sir. I have that from Dr. Mayhew. And how do you propose to transport the body?

I've hired a stage coach, Mr. Wilkins. When would you like to start? Soon as possible. Don Miguel will be ready. Good day, sir. Good day. How long you begun, Mr. Palladine? Oh, twelve days, two weeks at the most.

Now, why do you look like that? That man. Oh, no good trip carrying dead man. You know border stations are all alike, Mr. Paladin. Anybody here?

You just try to go through without inspection. You'll find out if anybody's here. Where's your destination? San Tamasino. Name? Paladin, my driver's Timmons. Just the two of you? Three. My girl, thank you. Hey, you can't take a dead body across the border.

Yes, I can. There's a statute book. Read article 8, page 14. You want to inspect the coffin? Open that thing up. Oh, not me. All right, then. What's the country like between here and San Tamasino?

Well, empty. Step for a waterhole called Loma Verde. The rest is ratwers and blow dirt. Oh, go on. Section's over. Let's go, Timons. Yeah! Yeah! This is the only spot of green we've seen, Mr. Paladin.

The Wilma Verde is hardly a paradise. I don't like it. Ah. Can't say I like it much myself, but we won't be here long. At least we can water the horses. As soon as we can move on, let's pull it.

Why? We have company behind that rock. Huh? You ever saw Los Varnos? Bandits. Don't move. Raise your hands to the audit. Do what he says. Wow. He's alone, Mr. Paladin. You're against us. Yeah. What are we gonna do?

We can let him kill us here, or we can fight him here. You say the word. Now. Very wise after such a foolish thing. Now climb down carefully. Now what? You might bury your friend if you wish.

Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Seems I know you from somewhere. Quite possibly. If I take off the hanker, Jeff, you I remember where. Don Miguel, of course. You're not a bad shot for a corpse. Do not make me prove that point again.

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Sure. Now I would like to satisfy my curiosity about that cargo. Open up my coffin. Money. Great deal of it. shipping payroll robbery $230,000. You plan well. That Mayhew was in on this?

He has been paid off along with Mr. Wilkins, a undertaker. They made my debts seem very convincing. But not as convincing as yours will be, senior palliative. What are you waiting for? First, you must tell me with another burial.

The money must be hidden until certain arrangements are made. Replace the lid and come down. I warn you, any false move will shorten your life. And will assure you a much more unpleasant death than you now contemplate.

Pick up the shovel. Now move. When you staged that attack at the opera, what about the man who was killed? The man was hired to play a part. I changed the ending of his scene.

No wonder he looked surprised. You cannot play chess without sacrificing pence. Now, dig. All right. You're in check. Miguel. Miguel. Checkmate. Body carrier, come back to the border.

Hey, did you deliver that? The coffin's still up there on top. And the corpse is in the coach. Take a look. You see? Just sit where you are, mister, and start explaining. That is the body in the coach.

The coffin up here is filled with stolen money. What are you trying to pull, mister? You don't think I'm telling the truth? No. There's an easy way to prove it. Come on up here and open the coffin.

All right, I will. Give me a hand. Right. Well, I'll be. What's your name? Farley. Mr. Farley, there's a lady in San Tomasino waiting for the body of her husband, whereupon she will pay me my fee.

I need your help. What's this got to do with me? I thought you might want to get credit for the lady's arrest if she's a part of the plan. What about all this money? What do you do with that?

The Colonel and Command of the Third Cavalry at McGallis will sign for it But how do we know if this lady is guilty or not? Suppose you leave that up to me, Mr. Farley. Surprised to see me?

No, but I thought... I didn't wish to disturb the servants. You see, my errand is quite personal. Yes, my husband sent word before he... Would you like us to bring the coffin in this way?

Maybe, well... Excuse me. I don't like this, paladin. This is Mr. Farley, the only thing I can do is to get the house. This is Mr. Farley, Dandemaria, Senora Rojas. How do you do? I will get your money, Senora.

Don't you think you should make certain that I have fulfilled my part of the bargain? Yes, you are right. Open the coffin. Farley? That is my husband. I will get your money. Do you think Farley? Not guilty.

No woman could be that calm. She thought her husband was alive and then show him dead. When you're satisfied she had nothing to do with him. Yeah, all right. Wait for me at the stage coach.

Yeah. Don't be too long. Where is your marks in your... There is a drink for him in the kitchen. You hid your surprise very well. And your grief. I had no grief for me, Gail.

I don't know how he died, but I can never thank you enough for giving me my freedom. My life was a nightmare. I can believe you. I saw it in your face. Good-bye, Dony Marie.

Wait, your money. No, I'd rather not. Please, Tanyor. It gives me pleasure to pay for my errors, especially since this is the last payment. Should you come again to San Francisco? I hope you'll come with me to the opera.

Dr. Meju. I got your message, Mr. Paladin, but I'm afraid I can't give you too much time. I'm a very busy man. All of us are. Ah, here comes another busy man. Hey, Mr. Wilkins, the undertaker.

Hi, Mr. Paladin, what can I do for you? Sit down, first of all. Thank you. Doctor Wilkins. Well, Paladin, what is it you want? I'd like to order a coffin. A coffin? For whom? For whichever of you gentlemen makes their first move.

Will I? This is a Derringer, in case identification escapes you. Hey, boy. Mr. Paladin? Get me a policeman. On second thought, get me two policemen. One apiece. Oh, big story in papers. Doctor May, you are Mr. Wilkins all in jail.

Where they belong, hey boy. Ah, here we are. Oh, where are we? San Francisco Opera premiere tonight. Hey boy, I want you to take this over to the Opera House. Buy me a box. Oh.

Now what's the matter with you? Last time you go to Opera. Man get killed. Money gets stolen. Boy, big trouble! You know, Lon, of course I learn. But would you have me to? No opera, no lady.

Hey boy, I'm afraid you have a lot to learn. Gun will travel. Created by Herb Meadow and Sam Rowe, is Purdue, stand directed by Norman McDonald, and stars John Dana as Paladin, with Ben Wright as Hey Boy.

Tonight's story was written by Ken Cobe, and adapted for radio by John Dawson, Featured in the cast were Lilian Bia, Harry Bartel, Joseph Kearns, Howard Culver, Ralph Moody, and Vic Perrin. Hugh Douglas speaking. Join us again next week for Have Gun, Will Travel.