Fred Allen (Version 2): Hillbilly Drama

It isn't the Jack Benny album of familiar jokes, kiddies. Fred Allen's show with Fred's guest, Arthur Preacher, Portland Hopper, Minerva Pius' Mrs. Nussbaum, Allen Reed's false snap open show, Parker Fennley is Titus Moody, the Demarco Sisters, and Al Goodman in his orchestra.

And until I show up as Senator Craig Horn, my name is Kenny Delmont. Today, ladies and gentlemen, most radio programs are giving things away. This program is different. We give you nothing and to prove it, here he is, Brad Allen.

Thank you. Thank you and good evening ladies and gentlemen. Kenny, you're right about radio programs giving things away. You know, the only trouble is that generally the winners get the wrong things. What do you mean?

A leading question if I have ever heard of it. Well, I shall tell you what I mean, Kenneth. Last week on a program, let me see that program. If you can lift it, take it away.

No, that was another one. This was the following day. Oh, this program was called Musician for a Day. Now on this program, an old lady, 89 years of age, won a set of bagpipes. Now the poor old lady hasn't got wind enough to cool a Demi-Taz.

What can she do with a bagpipes? That is my question. Oh, you're really making this up, Fred. Kenny, if I am lying, may you get a line with a laugh in it some night? I heard another program, a program, morons are funny with some guy Ralph Winkletta, I think his name is.

And a man came to the microphone, Mr. Tom Titt Nischball. I caught the name. And he missed his question, and they hit him right in the face with a lemon meringue pie. Then they gave him a gruen watch.

What is your question tonight? Do you believe in hobbies? And if you do, what is your hobby? Shall we go? As Lincoln said to Blinken, why not? Oh, here we are back in Alan's alley, Portland.

Ah, that good eh. Alan Senate is in all right. his hexing kit and boo-doo mess jacket are here on the front verand, to see? Well, let's not. Somebody, I'll say somebody not. Yes, sir. Black-O'er's name, Senator Claghorn, I know you're from the south.

I've been on the half-old day. I refused to come out. Why? The wind was blowing from the north. How do you use the tosses? Now look, I'll have to go to the store clubs, son.