Yours Truly, Johnny Dollar: The Racehorse Piledriver Matter

This is a horse on me, but I did find out that in a race for life and death the police laboratory is where they make the photo finish This is another and the adventures of America's fabulous freelance insurance investigator Johnny dollar At insurance investigation Johnny dollar is only an expert at making out his expense account. He is an absolute genius

expense accounts submitted by special investigator Johnny dollar to Hartford branch Lloyd's Underwriters Association the following is an accounting of my expenditures during investigation of the circumstances threatening the life of the insured the racehorse pile driver or he'd have been way off his feet if I didn't know my oats or it's great to get a kick out of life so long as it isn't

a kick in the head. Expense account item 1. 18 cents, one package of cigarettes. You may consider this a personal item, but that's where this case really started. At the cigar stand, ground floor, terminal office building, here in Hartville. I had come down in one of the elevators. I noticed a little guy with a cane standing with a starter. After I passed them,

I felt myself being pointed out, and not being the type who likes being followed for long periods of time I gave myself a good reason to stop and look things over oh was the dollar hi a Mac give me a pack of luck is where I just told you pack when you came in I know but things may really start smoking any minute

yeah I've been let to believe that you were one of the John dollar would that be a fact yeah I'm dollar what can I do for you well I am quite a famous fellow of myself. Perhaps you've heard of the fabulous jockey Earl Sand? Yeah, but well next to him I was among the best. May I introduce myself? I'm the famous little Nettie Montana, sometimes

called the short Johnny Longdon. Check in. How do you do? To business. I think I have a way for you to solve my problem and make yourself an honest buck, besides. Oh, now whoa pony boy, you're wasting your time. I don't bet the horses. And when I do, I don't buy tips from towels.

Oh, now wait a minute, pal. I did not introduce myself for the purpose of being insulted. I will have you know that I too do not consort with touts. I will thank you to keep a civil tongue in your head.

Oh, I can see this is going to be one of those days. What is your problem, mister? Well, it is a problem best not overheard by people in the lobbies of office buildings. But this much I can't tell you.

It is about a horse and $50,000 insurance. That is why I came to you. Well, it'd be richer if I'd known more about horses and poorer if I'd known less about insurance. Maybe in this thing I could break even at least.

Come on. I, uh, hope you are not too much of a purist to ride in a taxi. A little nitty looked like he'd stopped growing physically at the age of fourteen. And every once in a while he talked like his mind had also called a quits at about the same time.

The only thing slick about him was his hair. The only thing sharp is clothes. Liars always talk too much, and little nett he wouldn't say a word until we were inside my apartment. So even before he started his pitch, I half-believed it.

Well, to take it from the beginning, I was born in a stable and that's not just a figure. A speech, they brought the hot water in a feed bucket, so you can understand my deep affection for horses.

Yeah. Now, on top of that, kindly consider this. One horse in particular, a very brave steed by the name of Pile Driver, has not only made me very famous, but has also made me a very large pile of hay.

I have ridden Pile Driver to a wind position since he was a maiden. Pile Driver, huh? Go to Hunka Horse. Aha! Ah, you remember. Then you might also remember that he was on his way to becoming one of the big money winners of all time.

Until I had to go and fall off a livery stable horse while teaching a girl how to ride in Central Park. It busted up my leg and I might add my future. To say nothing to the pile drivers.

He hasn't won a race since I got grounded. Yeah, well what's all this got to do with insurance? Mr. Dalla, they are gonna murder him. Huh? Can you guess why? I can try. Pile driver is heavily insured.

He's also no longer winning races. He's also a man who can't have a family. No good for studs. So if file driver should trip and break a leg, the owner would be entitled to shoot him and he'd still collect the insurance?

I know it's been done. You have hit the horseshoe nail on the head. Mr. Dollar, I have a considerable bundle of money stashed away, and I am willing to devote a considerable lump of it to the purpose of saving pile driver.

Now, maybe you wouldn't understand such a thing, but I happen to love that horse. I understand it, Nettie. Where is he? He is currently stable at a track named Hayawatha. Oh, by the shores of Gichigumi?

No, no, by the shores of Lake Michigan. This is located slightly north of a place called Chicago. Music Five telephone calls and a few hundred questions later I learned that Pile Driver was insured by your company. Got the assignment and was on my way.

So, expense account item two, airfare, Hartford to Chicago, $57.72. Little Nettie insisted on coming along and he He kept the hum of the plane from being a home-drum as follows. Well, Johnny, the gentleman who owns Piledriver is an old Kentucky mid-Julep sponge named Colonel Faraday Bushnell.

Now, this character has a very black heart-piding beneath the head of white hair. I trusted him until I heard him say what he was going to do. From then on, I have been seriously tempted to wrap these hands around his neck and squeeze.

All I can say is he had better not hurt Piledriver. Spence account item three. Sixteen dollars and forty cents. Cab fare, Chicago Municipal Airport, a high-awather race track. Arrival time, ten a.m. To me a race track always smells good.

Horses, green grass and excitement. Hey y'all driver, keep the change. Well, this as the saying goes is it, Mr. Dollar. You will have to take it from here. Okay. Oh hey, eh, one last word of warning.

Watch out for his daughter, Lyla. Why is she dangerous to a guy like me no, but to a guy like you yes Pardon me miss and you tell me where I'll find the boss around here Colonel Bushnell. Oh I was just gonna chase you away, but you don't look like just another hay and green merchant

But you said I'm not I'm buying Where's your daddy? How do you know the colonel is my daddy? Well, he told me he had a pretty daughter. Oh well, thanks Just who are you mister? Well as for the name us Johnny Dollar As for my business, that's trying to buy one of your father's horses.

Well, the Colonel won't be back for a little bit, but I'm bossing while he's away. I'll tell you now, I don't think he's figuring on selling any of his horses. I'll be glad to show him to you.

Good enough. But there's only one I'm really interested in, Pile Driver. Pile Driver? Why, no daddy wouldn't sell him. Why not? Why, he's practically one of the family. He put me through the last two years of college.

Do you mind if I see him anyway? What? No, not at all. Right over here. Okay. Yeah, baby. Yeah, certainly, darling. Meet Mr. Dollar. Whoa. Quite a horse. Yeah, he's just a perfect day, aren't you, darling?

Mr. Dollar, why do you want to buy a piled driver? Oh, he's a great horse. Got a great record. Have you been following him lately? Yeah. Oh, I know he hasn't been winning. That'll make his price cheap in the odds long when he gets back running.

I just happen to think I can make a winner out of him again. But his spirit's all gone. How do you think you're going to do that? Well, if I told you, his price might go right back up.

Johnny Darling, I can't help it, darling. Kiss me. Hey, well, let's go. Please, darling, please. Great fun, now. But what was it for? Johnny, you shouldn't have right out here in the open. Yeah, what's going on?

Now, wait, Leohanya! This guy ate your brother who wish he was. Besides, that's no way to kiss brothers. You. Get out of here. Buster if you want this girl's father you better start doing some wishing Oh, yeah, thanks, sir And I've got You expect it is a run-along now about your business Leal I must say I am surprised that you fight in in front of a lady

You got him off of me. Here, young man. I demand that you dismount me. Mr. Colby, I'm a son of a letter I guess I have to. Now listen, Leo, are you paying close attention?

Yeah. After I let you up, if you make one move, except away from here, I'll give you a pair of fattiers. OK. Start wearing knee pads. Come on, Leo, honey. Let's get away from here.

I hope you're not blaming me for what happened. I don't know how to hold up my hand. Now see here. I demand an explanation. So do I. I came here to get the horse business and I end up in the fight racket.

Who is that guy? Their gentleman, sir. His Leo Kove, brother horse owner. And I might do the favor of warning you that Mr. Kovet is a hard enough man in business dealings. But when it comes to my daughter, he's downright violent.

Your daughter was downright impulsive. Maybe so. But Leo is hardly the type to stay in bark while some other fellow kisses his girl. And I saw that happen with my own eyes. I don't want to worry about your krails.

I didn't come here to collect lipstick samples. Ah, one thing I can be glad about in my encounter with Mr. Leo Corbett. What is that? That he is in James J. Come on, Colonel. Let's talk business.

Hey, bartender. Hey, Mr. Dollar, over here. Oh, uh, never mind. There's my man over there. How are you, Denny? Oh, I'm fine. Hey, but you. What did you catch that mouse under your eye? Oh, I'm sharp as a trap I am.

You were so right about Miss Bushnell. She's not only dangerous, she's Daffy. Huh? I didn't know she could hit that hard. Well, she didn't. I just say that she has a novel way of introducing people to her boyfriend.

Oh. You know him? Leo Corbett. If I knew anymore, I'd be the racing commission's witness. He owns a string of very fast horses who run very slow until the odds get right. Then he bets him up to the brisket, wins himself a pot ball.

It's also rumored that he is a stiff competition to the perimutual machines. He books big bets among the owners. Well, they'll catch up to him sooner or later. They always do. Amen. But, uh, about that human glue factory, my friend, the horse-killing Colonel.

What's with him? Well, I offered him $60,000 for file drivers. Huh? That's $10,000 more than he'd get if he knocked him off and collected the insurance. Yeah, where are you gonna lay your mitts on 60 Gs?

I haven't got that kind of dough. We don't need that kind of dough, little netting. You see, I told Bushnell that I was sending to California for my private vet. and that he'd be here in three days.

And once he pronounced the horse sound, I'd give him the money. Yeah, but that only means that pile driver is safe for another three days. And then what? And those three days is up to me to prove intent, and if it's there, I'll prove it.

And have the policy cancelled. Once that's done, you'll probably be willing to peddle the horse for ten thousand. That I can handle. But, in the meantime, I'm not taking any chances, see. I'm keeping pile driver under my own personal eye.

I wish you wouldn't, Eddie. We don't want the Colonel getting suspicious. I can't help it, Mr. Dollar. I just can't help it. Okay, Nanny, but don't blow it. Be careful. Like all racetracks, Hiawatha was surrounded by motor cords and bugaloes with rooms for rent.

Oh, expense account, item four, three dollars. Room rent. I set the 10 alarm clock for eight and my gear for any time and went most of the way to sleep. First things being first, I dreamed of girls.

Then I dreamed of fire engines. And suddenly I realized why I was hearing some. I bounced out of bed and over to the window. There I saw an incendiary sunset hanging over the racetrack stables.

I jumped into my pants and into the landlady's car and got over there as fast as a 1929 Ford could take me. A little guy with a lamp was hanging around. Where'd he go? I had one particular horse to get to and hurry.

And I hoped one particular guy. The door to the pile driver's stall was closed and paddled. I probed the staple of the wood with the pick end of a fire axe. Through the door open, grabbed a lung full of fresh air, closed my eyes and slammed into the smoke.

It could have been smoked to death, wounded death, or stamped to death, but I had to take the chance. Stereo. Whoa, whoa, pile driving out. Take it easy, easy, easy boy. I wiped him on the rump of the axe handle and dropped it.

drop it. I slipped to my knees. It started groping across the straw covered floor. I knew that if there was any air in there, that's where it would be. If there was an ex-jockey in there, that's where he would be. And that's where he was. And the first corner I tried, I dropped his backwards toward the

door, dragging him inch by inch out to the clean cold shower of fresh night air. I could have save myself a trip. Little Nettie Montana was dead. He'd had a horseshoe hung on his forehead, but not for luck. And all I could think of at the moment was a jockey's best friend is not always his

force. In just a moment we will return to the second act of Johnny Dollar. But first, may we take just a moment from tonight's Johnny Dollar story to remind you that three more fine adventure shows come your way each Saturday night on most of these same CBS stations.

First, there are the adventures of Philip Marlowe, based on the smart and tough private eye created by Raymond Chandler. Second, there's Gangbusters, one of the most famous crime shows on the air, reenacting outstanding police cases in real life.

Third, there is Escape, a highly unusual adventure show which fulfills your need for escape. these three Philip Marlow gangbusters and the scape along with yours truly Johnny dollar every Saturday night won't you tune in this fall for the show that you love best of all let them carefully here's the address it's easy

yeah now with our star Charles Russell we return to the second act of yours truly Johnny dollar Tough luck. Nice try, little nutty. Oh, this is horrible. It's a little net.

It sure is. What's left of the nutty? You don't... Yeah, I mean, he's dead. You know, when I was a kid, I knew about a story, with a horse and a woman in it. Helen of Troy, I should have remembered that before I tangled with you.

Why don't you get lost? Why, what if it's a matter with you? Look, Miss Bushnell, two minutes after I met you, you bagged me into a fistfight with your boyfriend, with a phony kiss. I don't know how much you had to do with putting little nutty where he is, but I intend to find out.

You're insane. Any fool even you, Mr. Dollar, can plainly see that this boy's been kicked in the head by a horse. Lyla, Lyla child, what you do with this? Why, why, who's that in the ground?

Why, this little nitty. Don't tell me he's dead. What would you be if you got kicked in the head by a horse, Colonel? What? Quite a cool boy. I held this lad in deep affection until just a few months back.

He was my best jockey. What on earth was he doing around here at this time and I? From all I can see, little Nettie swapped his life for pile drivers. As small as he was, it's a pretty big price to pay.

Although I guess you wouldn't think so, would you? What? What's this? I demand an explanation of precisely what you mean, sir. I mean that to some people, a dead horse is more valuable than a live one.

Too bad you can't go count your money. I'm gonna take my friend to the morgue. An hour later, little Nettie was resting better than I was. I'd made my report to the police and was back pacing the floor in my rented room.

There wasn't a long walk. See you right away. Why don't you start another fire? That'll draw me. I didn't have anything to do with that fire, but I must talk to you right away. Where can I meet you?

Have you got a car? I'll pick me up here in 20 minutes. Come along and we'll take a little drive to the country. I want to be just the three of us. You and me and the do-drops.

Dawn was making a dark grey promise in the sky when she picked me up. when she picked me up and a few easy to please birds and found something to sing about. During the first five miles, Lila denied everything except that she was a woman.

And there was no hiding that. I had her pulling under a tree and said, well then why don't you call me? It was something you said to my father about a horse being more valuable dead than alive.

You've sold me out once. What are you planning on now, selling out your old man? You women. You know if the truth has ever told it'll probably come out the goalie locks cut her grandmother's throat to swipe the gold out of her teeth. Please don't make fun of me.

Fun she calls it. Well, you got something to spill gold off your chest. My father owes Leo Corbett $50,000. He lost it betting on piledriver. Leo's been demanded his money and father doesn't have it.

And I heard Leo practically order father to destroy a piledriver for the insurance. And what a dirty day say to that? He said he'd do it. But I know he wouldn't. I know he didn't set that fire.

How do you know? I... I just know that's all. Now that'll sound good to a jury. Why are you coming to me with all this stuff? Because you're our only hope. Can't you buy power drive a ride away? It would solve everything.

Everything but one thing. What's that? Why did you go to all that trouble to get me punched in the eye? Oh, that's... Yeah. I just wanted to show Leo that he wasn't going to have everything his own way.

And you look strong enough to do it. Well, that's a stupid answer. Why not? Makes a stupid kind of sense. It dropped me off at my rooming house where I dropped off to sleep. There was, however, only a four-hour plunge.

Expense account on them five, six-fifty. Cab fare to headquarters, homicide division, Chicago police. That's one city where the cops still were an old-fashioned star, but they sure do operate for the new fashion speed. speed. As witnessed, the enclosed report made by Lieutenant Craig six hours after filing of inquiry. According to the findings of the autopsy dollar, your hunch or whatever you

call it was right. The deceased little nettie was not kicked to death by a horse. Examination of the wound reveals that it was administered by a new horseshoe. The shoe on a horse's hoof would have left traces of straw, etc. We'd say that the fatal weapon was swung by person or persons are known. As you suggested, he'd have to have been standing on his head to have

the horse you make the market did if the horse had kicked him. The lieutenant had made only one mistake. He should have said, person or persons known. Spencer Coward, item six, ten cents, two telephone calls. The idea I was working on, I'll give you for nothing. Spencer Coward, item seven, six fifty. Cab fare to administration

building, higher author racetrack, where the afternoon's program was in progress, and where I got the whole hearted cooperation of the track officials and the use of a vacant office, in which to hold the meeting I had set up.

I sat myself in a swivel chair and waited. Come in. Mr. Dolly, I can't tell you how happy I am that our little transaction is about to be consummated. If you have the money with yourself, I'll drive you.

Now, wait a minute Colonel, let's not go consummating too quickly. Oh, my boy, you indicated, oh, the telephone. I indicated over the phone just this. I said my offer was as good as it ever was.

And to tell you the truth, it's not very good. No, see, here. Who's there? Sit down, Colonel. Come in. What? Leo, what do you do up here? Any time anybody shows up to hand over 60,000 of the U for pile driver, I'm going to be here.

That's exactly what this smart guy called me up to tell me he's about to do. Now, now, gentlemen, gentlemen, let's take it easy. Before I do anything, I want to make sure I'm not doing business with a murderer.

Sir, I demand an explanation. What about you, Leo? Yes, how do I? Well, here it is. The Chicago police know two things. One, that last night's fire was set, and two, the little netty was murdered.

And the little netty got a couple of long fools of smoke before he got hit over the head with a horseshoe. That means that whoever hit him over the head sucked in some smoke, too.

I've never heard such a pair of nonsense in my life. What are you getting at, wise guy? Yes, that's what I told you. I don't want to do business with a murderer, especially $60,000 worth.

But I've made it easy on you to prove that you aren't. You see, I got a doctor in the next room with portable x-ray equipment. If you've got fire smoke in your lungs, it'll show up.

Now, how about it? This is ridiculous. Why don't you leave the dick-tracy stuff to the funny papers? Because I don't feel like laughing. Now, once more, how about it? I still don't know what this comfoolie is about, and I'll feel downright silly while I'm doing it, but I'm willing to take my changes.

Okay. Leo, you're first. Follow me. You're back on a murderer, there's no way to stay healthy, but very often it's a good way to get him to make this move. This one did, right out the door, knocking me down on roots, and the chase was on.

Out of the building, and out toward the grandstand, and the racing circle. racing circle. It may have been Dreamy Boy at the corner and on the track what it was Mike Corry by 50 lengths is he headed up an aisle into the grandstand. Dreamy Boy was still doing fine down there and I was moving up up here but up in the top of the grandstand

and onto the ramp leading to the press box section. Just as Dreamy Boy hit the three quarter we hit the grandstand roof and then we went out of the stretch. It's hopeless. You can't get much farther. You're running out of room.

I slid behind a ventilator and showed myself the drawer shots. He was lousy. If he hadn't been, he's dictating this with an air-conditioned elbow. Can't carve a joke hat. I've had kind of your shots.

Corba tried a few ventilators himself and then apparently he decided the second time he fought me he'd do better. He rushed in swinging. That was doing great pretty punches but he finally moved inside and threw on. I dug low, but he came up fast with his knees. I sat down and he took

off. Straight to the back corner, edge of the pitch roof. He swung over the side and started to shinning down the 100 foot rain pipe. That pipe was built to carry rain, not people. At the finish line of one tiny segment of the human race, it was gambler, arsonist, murderer, Leo Corbett by a head. Expense account item eight. Dinner for two, at the Changer line,

relied downtown Chicago, $34.40. Dinner itself only took 40 minutes and eight of the dollars. The rest of the evening of the money was spent listening to the story of her life. A story which would not by any means would any Pulitzer Prize, or for that matter, any husband.

But sometimes when you're interested in a girl like Lila, you have to act like you're interested in what she's saying. Expense account item 9, $57.72, Airfare, Chicago to Hartford. Item 10, $1.50, one book to read on airplane titled, How to Win at the Races.

As if I just hadn't found out. Expense account total $1449.22. I guess you could call that horse sense. Signed yours truly Johnny Dollar. First Truly Johnny Dollar is produced and directed by Gordon T Hughes and stars Charles Russell.

Script by Paul Dudley and Gill Dowd. Featured in the cast were Bill Conrad, Doris Singleton, Jerry Housner, Herb Butterfield and Hal March. The special music is written and conducted by Wilbur Hatch. Be sure to be with us at the same time next week when another unusual expense account is handed in by yours truly.

Johnny Dollar. Those mystery adventure shows we mentioned earlier, the fun and music and fabulous jackpot of Sing It Again, and two outstanding music shows. They're on tap for you every Saturday on most of these same CBS station.

Gene Autry comes along with his sagebrush ballads and fond Monroe is due with his songs and his great orchestra. In fact, you're invited to stay tuned right now for the fond Monroe show, show or it follows immediately over most of these stations, Paul Masterson speaking.

This is CBS, the Columbia Broadcasting System.