Watering The Lawn

Transcribe from Hollywood, the Phil Harris Alice Faye Show. For your enjoyment here is the Phil Harris Alice Faye Show, written by Rasinger and Dick Chevrolet, with Elliot Lewis, Walter Tetley, Robert North, Janine Ruth, and Whitfield, Walter Sharpeny's music, yours truly Bill Foreman, and starring Alice Faye and Phil Harris.

On Alice's insistence, Phil and Frankie attended a very important civic meeting last night. However, unbeknownst to Alice, they went on from there and played poker all night at the musician's union. As we look in, it's one o'clock in the afternoon and we find Phil and Frankie on the Harris patio trying to catch up on a little sleep.

That was some party last night, wasn't it, Frank? Oh, yeah. The musician's union certainly knows how to throw a brawl. Oh, yeah. Remly, stop breathing in my direction. You're peeling off my suntan. We sure had fun.

And what a poker game. I never had so... Why? Why? Hmm? Alice don't know about the poker game. She thinks we just went to the volunteer fireman's meeting. Why don't you tell her the truth?

Why do you keep things from that sweet little angel? Because if I told her the truth, that sweet little angel would knock my roof in. You see, Frances, my boy, a wife is like an atom bomb.

I never thought of it that way, thanks to the explanation. I didn't explain it yet. As I was saying, a wife is like an atom bomb. It's nice to know you have one around in case you need it, but you don't go lighting the fuse to see it go off.

Clever, simile, aremly. Oh, that was a peachy one, Dean. I'm going to show you how much she won, Dean. Tevel. Oh, Bill. Here comes your little load of uranium. Now, look, sir. Just don't say nothing to Alice about the all-night poker game.