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Gooseby Vacation

The Bickersons · July 10, 1951 · 28 min · 4,361 words

The transcript of “Gooseby Vacation”, an episode of The Bickersons first broadcast July 10, 1951. Press a time to play from that line (a 60-second preview; Potato Plus plays it all). Laugh Track plays The Bickersons free, live around the clock. Search inside this transcript.

Machine transcript (may contain errors).

Transcript

Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Frank Barrens. Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. I know there are many times when you feel completely fed up with radio commercials, especially cigarette commercials that don't give you credit for having a mind of your own.

They talk to you as if you were a twelve-year-old. And I know you've often wished that someday a sponsor would come along and give you what you really want. Not jingles or double talk or wild claims, but the simple facts and the fair opportunity to use your own intelligence, your own common sense, to make your own decision about the

product. In a moment I know you will hear a Philip Morris program. You will notice that at no time in that program will your intelligence be insulted by fictitious surveys or paid testimonials or song and dance sales talks.

I'd like to make one thing clear. You hear all kinds of claims about honesty and advertising. kinds of claims about the number of smokers who have switched to a particular cigarette. Now the real fact, the true fact is simply this.

In the past three years Philip Morris gained more smokers than all other leading brands combined. No other cigarette can make that statement. This outstanding record by Philip Morris is confirmed by the published estimates of Harry M. Mooten, consultant on the tobacco industry, and is based on the highest authority of the authority. Official releases of the United States government. Thank you.

Now Philip Maris presents Francis Langford and Lou Parker starring in Philip Rap's Humorous Creation the Bickerson's produced and broadcast transcribed from Hollywood. Now here is Lou Parker as Lou Parker.

Thank you and good evening ladies and gentlemen. Francis Langford in our other role is the Purple Hot girl and much more like her real self is volunteered to sing any song requested by the boys of our armed services. This week we were really bombarded with male for one of our outstanding favorites. So Francis? Yes Lou? For about 65 GIs would you

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