Screen Directors Playhouse: The Ghost Breakers

From Hollywood, the NBC Theater presents Director's Assignment, Production, The Ghost Breakers, Director George Marshall, Star Bob Hope The Hollywood Screen Directors present a Comedy of Terror's, The Ghost Breakers, starring Bob Hope in his original role and introducing the director of the film, George Marshall Our guest screen director tonight might be said to have some small knowledge of motion pictures

He's been an extra stuntman, prop boy, actor, film editor, cameraman, and assistant director. And 34 years ago, he launched his brilliant career as a director of some 385 films. We proudly present the president of the Screen Director's Guild and the director of such fine entertainment as Tap Roots, The Perils of Pauline, Destry Rides Again, and tonight's

story The Ghost Breakers. Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. George Marshall. Thank you very much. When we made the ghost breakers, the set bore pretty close resemblance to a case of galloping nightmares, including, included in our chamber of horrors, where such things as ghost, bad zombies, witches, and Bob Hope, which you can imagine is probably one of the scruiest

parlays on record. And here's the result. And on the air, for the first time, the ghost breakers, starring Bob Hope is Larry Lawrence and Shirley Mitchell as Mary Carter. If ever a name struck terror into the heart of the underworld, it's the name of Larry Lawrence, intrepid radio reporter and crime buster.

Yet only his closest friends know that behind his simple, vacant, foolish smile hides the real Larry Lawrence, simple, vacant, and foolish. We find him now in his office, preparing a last, brittle-loaded broadcast before leaving on his vacation.

Oh, so you climb up on Larry Lawrence, huh? Come on, open up. I say or I'll drill a hole clear through you. Oh, oh, oh, oh. Okay, you ask for it. Take this. And this.

And this. And this. Is there something wrong, Mr. Lawrence? Yeah, I can't get this window open. Here, let me try. It's no use, Miss Coe's. It's stuck. I'm a strong man, but... There you are?

Miss Coe's. I thought I warned you about weightlifting on office hours. There's a Miss Mary Carter to see you, Mr. Lawrence. Miss Carter? Is she a redhead? wasting my time. You know, I'm due on the air in 15 minutes and I'm waiting for Raspy Kelly. Well she says it's very important Mr. Lawrence and she's a blonde.

Oh then put her in category 7B. I'll see her when I get back for my vacation and tell her to leave her telephone number and waste measurement. Mr. Lawrence please, please I'm Mary Carter. I'm sorry miss but I'm working on my secret invention.

For real invention? Yeah, it's a bottle preparation for women who want to get their face lifted. How does it work? I mix nitroglycerin with cold cream. That just This goes to show how tough a woman has to be when she deals with Larry Lawrence.

Oh, then you're really Larry Lawrence, the brave, strong, dashing Larry Lawrence I've always heard about. Well, what are you waiting for, Ms. Coals? Go somewhere and flex your muscles. And tell me when Raspy Kelly comes in.

Yes, Mr. Lawrence. Mr. Lawrence, I need your help. Ah, yes, don't you all. Poor girl. But I'm dated up for the next month, perhaps someday in May around Applebloss sometime. I don't understand. Mr. Lawrence, you're famous as a crime breaker and gang breaker.

And there was that wonderful week in Duluth when I was a home breaker. Now I want to purchase your services. I want you to become a ghost breaker. Ghost breaker? I'm sorry, but the only spirits I mess around with come equipped with olive is not shrouds.

I'm serious, Mr. Lawrence. I've inherited an island off the coast of Cuba, Black Island, a castle on it called Castillo Maldito. Oh sure, I've heard of that. Isn't that where Cougat raises Little Moroccas? I'm his carter.

You're not going to tell me that castle is haunted. Well, this afternoon, the deed was turned over to me by a Senor Parada. He told me that no one who ever eats dinner in the castle ever lives until breakfast.

You mean there's no post-toasties because of the ghosties? Yes, yes, there is a ghost. Senor Parada says it's the ghost of Don San Diego, my great-great-grandfather. That's why I'm afraid, Mr. Lawrence. Now, if you'll come with me to Castillo Maldito, I'll see that your time is well paid for.

Yeah, but why a lot of few ghost rumors frighten you. After all, what's a ghost just a clue-cluck that's lost his clan? What do you need me for? Here, I received this card in the mail today.

Let's see. Death waits for you at Black Island. Well, here's your card, Miss Carter. Thank you and good night. You mean you're afraid? You, Larry Lawrence? Afraid? Me? Listen, I'm one of the bravest gumshoes in the business.

Well, you're acting like a child. Okay, so I'm one of the bravest bubblegumshoes in the business. It's just that I don't like spirits to send fan mail, and besides tomorrow I'll be in the mountains, so take your ghost postage to somebody else.

Ah, that mountain there, that's the life. You go to the window at six o'clock in the morning, open it, climb in and go to bed. Umm... Mr. Kelly is here, Mr. Lawrence. Oh, fine, I'll see you right away.

If you want an expert in things that go boo boo boo, I've got a friend named Crosby. Why don't you see him? No one else will do, Mr. Lawrence. I'm sailing for Cuba tonight on the recsitania.

If you change your mind, I'll be waiting for you in my state room. Hi, you Larry. What do you say? Well, hello, Raspy. Say you sound better. Did you get the frog in your throat afreshalily, Pad?

I got another Frenchy doofout story for you. It's a killer. killer. Oh, oh, oh, oh. Yeah, and so is Frenchie Duval. Say, does he know you're giving me these stories? Sure, he loves it. Good publicity.

I know, I plug him or he plugs me. What have you got? Frenchie adds himself a new racket. Here's how it works. And now folks, here's the last minute scoop. Frenchie Duval has a nice new racket, baby laundries.

You know the kind I mean with a slogan. This is the little one's laundry mat. Frenchy discovered that there were about 2,000 of them in the state all making money. Without even telling as close as pals, he moved in a three-corn at the market.

And so today, Frenchy is really cleaning up the hard way. This is Larry Lawrence saying, good night! Larry Lawrence will return to the air two weeks from tonight with more low down on the underworld.

Now a word about crewmen's coffee. Well, that's that. Hmm, one more week on the air without a rest night begin to look like Bob Hope. Mr. Lawrence? Oh, hello, Miss Coge. You hear the broadcast? Wasn't I great? Wasn't I terrific?

Frenchy de Val is on the phone. Wasn't I just leaving? I wonder if you saw her, courage, Camille. Hello, Frenchy. What's new? You got a tip for you, Larry boy. Shoot. I had to open my big mouth.

What was that? That was Raspy Kelly saying goodbye. Raspy Kelly. But you're not mad at me, are you, Frenchy? No, no, no, no. I told you I got a tip for you. You get this, a Satan radio reporter was found in a ditch riddled with bullets.

Yeah? When did it happen? Probably the Mara. Wow, that's what I call hot news. Tell me, hey, Frenchy, oh, not me, not little old Larry. I'm going to put somebody on the spot boy. Just call, tell me that bottle of spot remover.

Lawrence, I'm taking Carrie and myself, bison-a-lay. Oh, Frenchy. Frenchy boy, speak to me. Hello, Mort. Come to think of it, hello, Mortician. Why did I bother paying this year's income tax? Where are you going? Cuba.

This cold's when it comes to ghosts, I'd rather see one than be one. Sorry, I'm so glad you decided to come. Some state room you got on this ship. You ought to see mine, and so far down I can use the propeller to whip up my shaving cream.

Say, did you see President Truman in swimming when we passed Key West? No, which one was he? The one in evening closed. Yes? Radio grandpa you missed, and there's one for Mr. Lawrence too. Oh, thank you, Stuart.

Who'd know I was aboard? Here's your telegram. Well, isn't that nice? My meme must be from the Cuban Chamber of Commerce. What does it say? See Cuba and die. Hey, wait a minute, sign Frenchy Duval.

She do, Val. Stop the ship, man overboard. Stop the ship. Guzzalomainzel. Box the coffee. Larry, Larry, please. Larry, look at my telegram. What are you excited about? It just says, an empty coffin waits on Black Island.

Jesus, Pierce Brothers know about this? You think we should make the one friendly call that covers all? I'm scared. And it's sign, Senor Mertis. Murti. In Spanish, that means death. I know, I know his brother, rigor mortis.

You poor kid, you really are in trouble, aren't you? I'd be in a lot more trouble without you to help me. Yeah, I'm brave, two-gun Larry Lawrence. When I find out who's threatening, I'll break him and two and use half in the castle and half in the bathroom.

Sure, that's me, courage and the loose. Only it isn't so. What do you mean, Larry? Well, I'm running away from myself from some gangsters in New York. Oh, I didn't know. Look, Mary, we're both in trouble. Let's play it together, huh?

You stick by me and I'll stick by me too. Seriously, Mary, I... You know, you're beautiful. I'm frightened. Hello? Hello? This is Senor Parava. Mary, it's Parada, the guy you were telling me about. Who are you this speaking?

Never mind about me. What's the idea of scaring Miss Carter with all that ghost stuff? Ghost? I'm sorry. Hello. Hello. Senor Parada. Parada? That's strange. I wonder why he's on board. Yes? Oh, I noticed Miss Carter's name on the passenger list. Is she here?

Why, yes, I'm Miss Carter, who are you? Why, you're... That's right, Jeff Montgomery. Yeah, come here. Oh, please do. We met at the store club a few weeks ago. Yes, of course. Mr. Montgomery, this is Mr. Lara.

You traveling to Cuba, Mr. Montgomery? Yes, my home's in Havana. Oh, we're going to Havana, too. And then I'm to Castillo Maldito on Black Islands. Yeah, I'd heard that Jinx was wished off on... Not you.

Yeah, we won two glorious weeks there on Ladies Be Seated. That place is evil. Here's the legends about the ghosts, and there's said to be a zombie on the island. The son of a native woman who looks after the place.

Zombie? Yes, some voodoo priest seemed to have the power to bring the dead back to life. You see them once in a while walking around with despondent hopeless staring eyes. You mean like Republicans? Please be careful, Miss Carter.

If you insist on going to Black Island, be sure you go well protected. Well, what do I look like, an egg beater? There's nothing in that island but ghost evil spirits and zombies. Ghost evil spirits and zombies.

One's the next boat back to New York. But what about Frenchy Duvall? Him, he's just trying to kill me, that's all. Between Black Island and Frenchy Duvall, I'll take... Yes, Larry. I'll take Darling. Black Island, here I come.

You are listening to the Hollywood screen director's presentation of The Ghost Breakers, starring Bob Hope with Charlie Mitchell and introducing the director of the film, George Marshall, Black Island. It's silhouette broken by the menacing outline of Castillo Maldito against the night sky.

And approaching the island, a small rowboat carrying Larry Lawrence and Mary Carter. Boy, no wonder the native boatman won't come here at night. Look at the place, what a ruin. Looks like CBS pulled a raid on it.

Just a few more strokes, Larry. We're almost there. I've been hauling in these oresolon and my busters are forming pyramid clubs. Here's the dock. Here. Let me help you out. Oh. Oh. There. There. Lafayette, we are here.

I think Lafayette's here too. Probably the old woman caretaker that Jeff told us about. She may be just trying to scare us. She's wasting her time. We're scared already. Uh-oh. There she is. Mother Zombie.

My son is the zombie. What? Maxie strike huh? Go away your zombie, get you, hot you one. Could we interest you in a subscription to Weird Stories magazine? Hi Island now. I've inherited the castle Maldito.

No! My island! Sounds like a long and rose mother. Gee, great night for a murder. Who told you? Oh I just... I thought I was gonna get the laugh. Or other men, other men come in boats.

To boat. Tell me, does the Greyhound bus make a rest stop here? Get my regards to Boris Karlon. Let's get into the castle.

Hand me the flashlight, Mary. There. Oh, golly, what a place. I wonder who lived here last. Must have been Jolson, the front porch is down on his knees. Turn your flashlight to the left. A suitcase.

Hm. It's almost new. One of the people who came to the island must have left it here. Let's see the initials F.D. Frenchy do fall Frenchy come on Let's get out of here There he is okay here behind this post Lawrence come out I'm not here. I'm over there. Let's go Here in this room well now. We know one of our guests was what about the other two huh?

I don't know but I think I could spit and hit one of them. Oh, it's just the wind. If it is, it's the first time I ever heard a breeze with adenoids. You strangers. I kill strangers.

You never played Philadelphia. Strangers. Die. Hey, strangers, that's us. Zombie, kill. Sorry, but I gotta see your Union card. Oh, Larry, you stunned him with your flashlight. Help me drag him into the closet.

Okay. And you told me you were a coward. Yeah, what do you know? I'm brave. Hey, Sam. Everything okay? Oh, my God. Bana, la, cinver guen chao. What did he say? He said with men who know their castle's best at zombies, two to one.

to the one. Come on, let's see what else is going on in Nightmare Alley. If this is a short interlude of organ music, let's switch to another station. Come on, Larry. Let's find out who's playing that organ.

There it is. Yeah, and those things are on it are either coffins or boxes of king-sized cube and cigars. Nobody here now. Wonder who was playing it. I don't like it. The trillah won't like it either.

Maybe somebody put a nickel in it. There's no one there. Well, that's ridiculous. Only a ghost could do that, and there's no such thing. If there really are ghosts, I'd lose my mind. I'd end up in the snake pit.

Move over, Olivia. Hey, do you see what I see? On the organ, Ben, it's coming out of thin air. Too many reducing tablets. Larry, it's a ghost. Now marching men, find the key in marching men.

Maybe they're drafting again. What's he talking about? I don't know, ask him. You ask him, I feel too ghastly to be ghostly. Marching men, the key is marching men. Look, it's getting up. And floating toward that empty coffin.

It's getting in. Gee, that ghost gave some performance. Yeah. Oh, wait until you see me in Hamlet. Come on. I'm going to find out what's really in that box. Look, on the side, there's a plate.

Well, it's the coffin of Don San Diego, my ancestor who built the castle. Let's get the lid up. Larry, there's nothing but a skeleton. Yeah, oh man, most sure is dead. Larry, I think he was trying to tell me something.

Something about the marching men. He wants me to look for something. Look, if he forgot anything when he left, there's no sense looking for it now. Let's go, don't forget that Frenchie de Valle is looking for us and there's two other characters around somewhere.

Larry, turn your flashlight over there above the organ. Isn't that an inscription? Can you make it out? I think, yes, let me see. God's treasures in abundant sly, Something heavenly key heavenly key before they die there's more to this than meets the eye the ghost It said something about a key Larry. How can we look for a key? We haven't even got a keyhole

Keys could mean music look let's keep moving around if we stay in one spot. We're dead dead. I wonder who thought up that expression The marching men must have something to do with it. We'll ask them on the 4th of July. Come on Larry there on the wall Aren't those marching men?

Those little figures carved into the stone? Now, if I draw a horizontal line through this marching man, and one parallel to it through this one, and another one, and two more... This is a fine time to start playing tic-tac-toe.

No, don't you see? It becomes a bar of music. That's what the ghost was trying to tell us. The key is a chord on this organ. Mary, keep playing. Look, down Santa Yaga's coffin. It's shifting off its face and I don't feel so good myself.

Keep playing. Higher, higher. The secret opening. Yeah. With a flight of stairs. There's nothing down there but some dusty old dungeons. Let Jack Benny keep his money. Come on. You go first. Okay. But remember, I'm a lead off man on the way back.

Say, there's a lantern down here. Yes, and railroad tracks like in a mine. Yeah, railroad tracks. reminds me of my hotel room in Scranton. Come on, keep going. Look out, you'll trip over that rail.

Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Did you hurt yourself? What did you land on? This is a comedy, what do you think? I'm... Mary, look at this. What is it? I've seen this stuff before. Silver ore, the real thing.

Mary, you're rich. Congratulations, Miss Carton. It's in your piranha. So you're a pirata, what's the gun for? You can't get away with it. Aren't you shooting? Now listen, pirata. No, not you. Behind you. Look out!

Sorry, it's Jeff. Jeff Montgomery. Yes, it's Jeff. It's too bad I had to wound you, pirata, but you'll soon be put out of your misery. Ms. Carter, I came here to warn you. He's mad. He's sane.

Against the wall. All three of you. I warned you, Mary, that you chose to ignore my messages. What's this all about? About a vein of silver, as wide as the island. I discovered it and it's mine. You hear? This mine is mine and what's mine stays mine.

Thank you, Gertrude Stein Okay, so it's yours, but let Mary go. Oh, nobody's going to carry any tails out of here All right, come on out of there. I'll get your bottle up. Come on. Who's that? Frenchy Duvette. It's the police. They've got you trapped Montgomery I'll never get me. Not now. This is mine. They'll have to shoot it out. You tell them kid

Get through, finish! Come on! Larry, they've killed each other. Runchy and Jeff. I'll match you to see who faints first. Oh, Larry. Move over. Stop hogging the floor. We're on our way, Larry.

And a fun farewell to Cuba. We leave your castle to Mother Zombie and her bouncing baby boys. Yes, and with Paretta taking care of the mine, we'll never have to come back. And now that I'm rich, I'm gonna back you in a television show.

Yeah, after all those ghosts, it'd be nice to try out a new medium. With $100 million. What, eh? What will we do with $100 million? Well, we can always open another hotel in Texas. Get Dorothy LaMorta broadcast.

Larry, I still don't understand about the ghost. It must have been real. No, honey, it was just one of Montgomery's tricks. There's no such things as ghosts. Why do we have her sit in the audience?

NBC theater brings you a motion-stick to the man set against the background of memorable music. The story is Music for Millions and our star will be June Allison. And now here again is tonight's star, Bob Hope and screen director George Marshall.

Tell me, Georgie, boy, you used to be a fast man with a set of golf clubs. Do you still linger on the links? Sorry, Bob, I don't have time to give lessons. Why don't you buy a good book on the game?

I won, I wrote one last week in my life's blood on the six hole at Palm Springs. There I was, see Georgia, four iron shot from the green. I was standing like this. You're standing wrong.

Get this kid always a director. I'm standing wrong. Who taught you how to play golf? Bobby Jones? Right he did. Who taught you? Some little Scotch caddy called Crosby. But I don't play with him anymore.

Why not? Why not? Would you play with a fellow who puts grease on your putter, cheats on his scorecard by making his nines upside down, builds a furrow on the green with an electric shaver so that the ball has to roll into the cup.

For love. Well, neither will he. Good night, Bob. Thanks a lot. Good night, folks. Good night, Bob Hope and George Marshall. Thank you. The Ghost Breakers was presented through the courtesy of Paramount Pictures, currently releasing alias Nick Beale, starring Ray Milan, Audrey Tauter, and Thomas Mitchell.

Bob Hope will soon be seen in the Paramount picture, Sorrowful Jones with Lucille Ball and Mary Jane Saunders. George Marshall's next Paramount release will be my friend Irma, starring John Lund, Marie Wilson, and Diana Lynn, and NBC's on Dean Martin and Jerry Lewis.

Included in tonight's cast were Shirley Mitchell, Donald Morrison, Sheldon Leonard, Jack Edwards, June Forey, Ken Christie, Betty Moran, and Dan Riss. The Ghost Breakers was adapted for radio by Richard Alan Simmons, and original music was composed and conducted by Henry Russell.

Production was under the supervision of Howard Wiley, associate producer Ray Dietrich. Your announcer has been Frank Barton. Listen again next week when the NBC Theater presents... Screen Director's Assignment, Production, Music for Millions, Director, Henry Coster, Star June Allison.

The NBC of this theater came to you from Hollywood. This is NBC, the National Club, Cassidy Tuffins.