Richard Diamond, Private Detective: The Stolen Purse

Dick Powell transcribed as Richard Diamond, Private Detective. My name's Diamond.

I'd like a lot of working people. At five o'clock in the afternoon, I'd get pretty anxious for six o'clock to roll around. Especially if I haven't had a client for the last three days. But even if I don't expect anyone to drop in before six, I can't take a chance, so I stare out of my office window on 53rd Street just to kill time.

I see the night starting to muscle in on the Broadway bright lights, and I wonder just how many prospective clients are out in the city? Who's getting in trouble? What kind of trouble? And will they come to Richard Diamond for guidance?

Now, take the two hard looking thugs in the downtown hotel room. As they watch a pretty blonde, hurriedly get into a flashy mink coat. They're gonna need plenty of guidance. Where you going, Dottie? I got an appointment.

Don't you think you ought to stick around just in case the contact comes in? If it ain't here by now, it won't be until tomorrow. Stop looking like a couple of anxious bloodhounds relax. Sure, Denny, sure.

But you really kind of blame us for being a little disquieted. Don't she look classy, Al? Hey, who are you going to roll tonight, dale face? Your grandmother. Aren't you out of Alcatraz yet? I don't like no cracks about my family.

What are you going to do, Stan? People stop by the zoo every day. No, please. No logonarchy. Yeah, no logonarchy. Yeah. You keep running off at the mouth like that, baby. You'll be spitting out all your teeth.

Yeah. Well, when you kick off, Stan, don't try to set your body I'll never get both heads in that box. Oh, you'll love plop. I'm gonna hit you. Please, please. Leave us, Dottie. And Stanley, you shut your big mouth before I shove my foot in it.

Go on, Dottie. I think you better make a hurried speculation. What? Feed it. Bye. Oh, well, why didn't you let me mess her up a little? She's always acting like she's got a family background.

I do not know whether her family had anything to do with it, but it is a very nice background to gaze at. Now shut your ugly face and let her start tailing her. Yeah, tailing her?

What for? I think she is up to something. Yeah, well, she is, but I don't want to get booked as a peep and Tom. Stan, you are a melon head. I think she is going to try a cross.

Florida has never been late with the numbers before. Yeah. You think she's going to pick up the bundle and skip? No. I just want to see what she does with her evenings. Oh, well, I can tell you that.

Stanley, please. You aroused my irascibility. Oh, I'm sorry, Aloysius. Paper! Paper! Evening, Glenna. Oh, hello, Horace. Times. You look tired. Hard date, the office. I stayed home. My wife's well. Here's the times. Thanks. Goodnight, Glenna.

Good night. Papers! Evening papers! Have you got a light edition? Five years, right here, dearie. You got it? Yeah, in the purse. Put it down on the counter and look through the paper. Paper. Okay.

Paper! Evening, paper! What do you want me to do with a purse? Paper to let me to the train. Sure, honey. It's good to be working again, ain't it, Dottie? I gotta go. They usually gotta tail on me.

I'll see you tomorrow more. Relax. We're in the chips. Paper! Evening, paper! Oh. Paper, sir? No, but I will take that price. Piss? Oh. Why that nice young lady must have left it on the counter when she looked at the paper.

Please, just extend your age and index and shove it over here. Why, I can't do that. He belongs to that young lady. Ah, look, it would make me very unhappy to have to shove all those nice o' wrinkles around.

But I am in need to possess one patent-letter handbag. Now, if you will kindly move with my approximate latitude, your bat-wicking dispense would... Why, you poor excuse for a low-brow gunniff! Man! But two-sense-eyed-rap-a-led sapper cross your flat head!

Hey, hello, Glenda! Hello, how's our house business? Oh, Officer Quine. Aren't you on a little date? Yes, I've been changed to the 6 o'clock beat. Well, good evening, sir. Uh, yeah, lovely. Good evening, Officer.

Say, haven't I seen you somewhere before? Uh, hardly. I reside in Flatbush. Well, thank you, Mother. I do not see anything I want. Good-bye. He doesn't see anything he wants. What does he think you're running, you had to...

a drugstore there? Hey, Al, I saw a cop. I am proud of you, Stanley. Huh? Now let us hurry around this corner. What, you think that and the old dame are cooking up something together?

Stop here so we can watch the old dame. Stanley, to put it in your words, yeah. I think they are cooking up something. Oh, you figure she slipped the old girl in numbers? Your perception is sounds even my astute.

Hey, absurd. Oh, yeah. Yeah, your grandma is taking off and leaving the cup behind to watch the papers. She's going in that building. She has got the place. Stanley stay here and await my return. Okay, but my feet are beginning to hurt.

Going at drugs to purchase some blue jays. I shall be right back with the place. Mr. Diamond. Well hello Glenda. Come in pull up a rocking chair. Well that's the way it begins. Sometimes when you wait around until the last I just managed to get a customer.

I wasn't too happy about this one because I knew she didn't have enough money to hire a tramp to spot cigarette butts. I haven't got much time. I've got Officer Quine watching my paper stand.

Officer Quine? We should be happy you aren't selling fruit. He's already got his thumb, Brett, and Harry Apple and Yonkers. Mr. Diamond, I found this purse. Uh, found it, Glenda? Oh, you know me, Mr. Diamond.

I'm going straight now. I remember a snake that said that once. He broke his back. Honest. I haven't been doing that kind of business since I got out. Well, what can I do for you, Glenda? I'm broke.

Oh, it's not a touch. I want you to find the owner of this person, return it. Why don't you give it to Officer Klein? Well, there's no money in it. And with my record, he sure run me in for purse snatching.

No money, huh? Oh, no. No, I didn't touch a thing. Just, uh, took a peek, maybe. Oh, yeah. A young girl left it on my counter. If you find her, you can ask her. I didn't.

That's your thing. OK, I'll see what I can do. Oh, thank you, Mr. Diamond. Goodbye. Keep your nose clean. Oh, I will. She'd keep her nose clean, all right. In a glass of gin. I'd known old Glenda ever since she started working to bunker rackets and got put away for two to five.

I was sure she'd lifted the dough from the purse, but I opened it and went through it anyway. I was just kicking myself for telling her I'd try to dig up its owner when the door opened of an ugly looking mug wearing alligator spats walked up to my desk.

You should be ashamed, looking at someone else's place. It's a bad habit, like knocking on doors. Oh, it's said on the door to come in. How long did you have to wait before someone came by to read it to you?

May I please have to place? Oh, is it yours? Yes. Now, I didn't notice the wedges. Give up high heels. You have a very poor comic. Now, may I have the purse, or must I make you bleed?

Oh, oh, it's like that. Well, sure, here it is. Thank you. And something to go with it. I caught him with one that made my arm feel good, clear up to my shoulder. His eyes rolled back and he went down faster than the celluloid collar on the flagpole.

I looked at the black purse and started getting that lousy feeling again. I'd gotten into something and it was beginning to smell already. So I called the Fifth Precinct Police Station and an old friend, Lieutenant Levinson.

I'm a side sergeant, Otis. Hello, Otis. Oh, Otis, let me talk to the lieutenant. Is this diamond? No, it's platoon number three of the brownies, 300 strong. Now, let me talk to the lieutenant. What are you going to do with all those tired jokes when you run out?

Give him away to idiots. You want to start a collection? Uh-huh. Hello, Walt, diamond. Okay. If you didn't get so excited, you would have to take that stuff. Nobody, but there's a guy in my office lying on the floor.

He's dead. He's got the be. No, he isn't Walt. I just belted him in the mouth when he tried to get rough. Oh, wait a minute. Wait a minute. He's trying to wake up. Grown for the nice policeman.

You hear him, Walt? Okay, so some guy got tired and went to sleep on your floor. What do you want me for? Oh, a hold of the second, Walt. He's getting a little too active.

Kissed him good night. What did you do that for? Well, I've seen him somewhere. I think he's wanted. Oh, well. The door will be open. I'll fix it so he doesn't get away. Wait a minute, Rick. Where are you going?

Well, about five minutes ago, an old name hands me a black patent leather purse and asks me to find the honor. Right afterwards, this cultured gorilla wanders in and says the purse belongs to him.

Oh, what's in it? Nothing much. A compact book of matches and a hankage of. Mm, smells nice. No money? No? Oh, I gotta stop by Helen Ash's for a minute, and then I'm gonna find out what makes this purse so valuable.

Say hello to Helen for me. Sure thing, bye-walt. Big good boy. I got a rope out of my desk that I hung my socks on when I had time to wash them, and tied the sleeping ganuff to a chair.

I didn't know much about pocket books, but I knew someone who did. So I headed for 975 Park Avenue and a beautiful redhead named Helen Asher. Oh, good evening, Mr. Diamond. Good evening, Frances. Is Ms. Asher in?

Yes, sir. She's in the study. Shall I announce you? No, just dig up something that'll get me back on my feet and I'll let myself in. Yes, sir. Mr. Diamond. Yes, Frances? If you're pardon me for saying so, sir. I just love the way you talk.

Well, thank you, Frances. Eatin' 98. Major's in sloed. Oh, my goodness, you're pulling my leg again. Anyone home? Rick, you got here. Hi. Hi. Well, since when did you start carrying a purse? Like it?

That's his microplex. You idiot. Take a look. Who is it? Gotta find out. It's worth something. One guy already tried to get it the hard way. Cigarette? Oh, thanks. It's got some initials on it.

DK. There's nothing valuable in it. I know, that's what I can't understand. Did I match? Here's some in the purse. Thanks. Here. Adam's hotel, flop house with sheets. Comebacks never been used. My darling. Wow, thanks.

The perfume on the handkerchief's silly, it's my darling. Oh, don't look so hurt. It's over you. Wow. Come here. Oh, really? Here's your drink, Mr. Darr- Oh, my goodness. Oh, that's all right, Francis. I was just trying to convince your boss we should take in the resting matches.

My Francis, you got blushing. Oh, pardon me. Ms. Esher's residence. Yes, sir. One moment, sir. It's for you, Mr. Dam. Oh, thank you, Francis. I'll see if the dinner is ready, Ms. Ellen. Oh? You get right down here.

What? Lieutenant Levinson. Get down here at the station, Diamond. You're in trouble. Diamond. Wait a minute. Slow down. Not that, uh, my stomach starts getting back to normal and you have to knock some guy off.

Knock some guy off? I don't know. I'll just send notice over there with a wagon but I like your girlfriend too much. What are you babbling about? I thought you said the guy in your office was still kicking.

What? Uh, somebody made a punch board out of his chest and I like you for a suspect. I'll get down here. Wait a minute, Walt. Somebody shot him? Yeah. Oh, wow. Rick, what's the matter?

Oh, that crazy Walt Levinson's got me in line for a murder app. I gotta go down and square myself. Murder? Rick? Yeah, I'll see you later, baby. But Rick... I can't wait. I'll get back as soon as I can.

If we were married, this wouldn't happen. Rick, you forgot the purse. Francis? Francis! Yes, Ms. Asher. Francis, Mr. Darmen forgot this purse. See if you can catch him. He's gone to Lieutenant Levinson's police station.

Yes, Ms. Asher, my best. Rick just has got to stop this foolishness. Oh, how did you get in here? Who are you? I come in a back way, lady. Where's your seamis? You get out of here.

No, just relax, baby. One yell out of you and you get hurt pretty bad. What? Where's your seamis? He went down to the police station. OK. Where's your purse? I saw him bring it in.

I don't know. Come on, baby. Or do I shake it out of here? You say away from me. You heard? What? Your way's a purse. I told you I don't know, I'll stay away. Okay, but you're making it tough on yourself.

Stay away! Tooked underneath her arm, she walks the bloody tower, her withery'd took, earned underneath her arm at the midnight hour. Pardon me, sir.

Yes, madam? I believe you have my post. I beg your pardon, but this verses the property of Mr. Diamond. Private detective. Yes, I know. I gave it to him to hold for me. Well, I'm very sorry, madam, but you'd have to claim it from Mr. Diamond himself.

Oh, yeah? Help! Police! Measure! I'm happy! Help! This man is trying to steal my purse! Let go of my coat! It's like giving you trouble, mother! He's trying to steal my purse! Help! Oh, yes, sir. Looks just the type. This'll learn you, Romeo.

Oh, man. We've done an old lady, will you? Come on, get up and fight it! Hey, lady! Lady! I feel like that. Didn't even say thanks. I don't care what you say. You told me you had a guy in your office.

When my men got that, they found him tight in the chair with three bullet holes in his chest. He was making noises when I left. Some guys do that when they get shot. Oh, stop being an idiot. You know I didn't kill him.

Yeah, I know it, but what do I tell the commissioner? That I let you go because you're a friend of mine used to be on the force? No, but you don't have to act like I rubbed out the whole west side.

Well, I'm mad. I want to retire in five years. Now I want to do it with a healthy stomach. Yeah? Lieutenant, Murphy's got some guy out here he picked up for First Nation. This is a friend that diamonds and wants to see him.

Send him in. This can't get any screw within. It is already. I got a First Nation who says he knows you. First Nation? Francis. Yes, Mr. Diamond. I don't feel so well. That's all, Otis.

Isn't he your girlfriend's butler? Yeah. What happened, Francis? Well, sir, I was bringing that purse down to you. That's right. Yes, sir. A little old lady approached me on the street and claimed it belonged to her.

What did she look like? She had white hair and she was wearing an old shawl. I think she'd been drinking gin, sir. Keep gin. Glenda. Glenda Bergen? Is she the one who gave you the purse? Yeah, then what happened, Francis?

When I wouldn't give her the purse, she started yelling and called me a masher. And some enormous gentleman arrived and kept it me in the job. It was disgusting, sir. And the old lady got the purse?

Yes, sir. She ran off, and the enormous gentlemen sat on my chest until an officer came and carted me off to this place. Was Miss Helen all right when you left her? Well, yes, sir.

You don't see it. I don't know. But if they knew I had the purse and spotted me going into Helen... Here, Rick, use his phone. Thanks. Don't you see, Walt, this whole thing has something to do with that purse.

Oh, earsh, Mersh. I've still got a stiff on my hands. Oh, my goodness. Hello, honey. You all right? Oh. What's the matter? What happened? Me. He did, huh? Yes, and I need comforting. Well, honey, I've still got something to do.

Lock all the doors until Francis gets back, and I'll be over as soon as I can. All right. Did you get the purse? Francis will tell you all about it. Bye, baby. Bye. Rick, some blouse shoved Helen around.

Francis, get over there and take care of her. It's all right if he goes, isn't it, Walt? I guess so. Otis, I'm releasing the guy that was picked up for purse snatching. And don't say, yeah, lieutenant.

OK, Rick. Oh, thank you, sir. Step on it, Francis. Ms. Asher needs someone to take care of her. Yes, sir. Walt, give me two hours to find out what this is all about. Are you going after Glinda?

Yeah. She's tied up with this killing eye, but I send some of the boys alone. Give me two hours alone. I want to find the guy who shoved Helen around. OK, Rick. Two hours, and I put in the general alarm for you and the old day.

You know where she lives? I got a shack over near the East River. Thanks, Walt. Otis, let Diamond go and bring me a tablespoon of water. And all this shut up. I grabbed a cap and 20 minutes later I was standing at the edge of the East River.

The fog was rolling in and pretty soon it would be so thick you could put it in bales. Below me, next to the water was a line of weather-beaten shacks and one of them belonged to Old Glenda.

You want something Mack? Oh, I didn't see you. Does Old Glenda live in one of those shacks? Yeah, got one. Got a match? Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, keep them. Thanks. Forget it. No, wait a minute, huh?

Let me see those matches. Hmm, I've forgotten all about them. What's the matter here, collect them or something? These I do. Sorry, pal, you have to get some others. OK, sporty. The inside of the shack looked like a hardware store after a good earthquake.

Someone had torn it to pieces and old Glenda had gotten the same treatment. She was lying on the wooden floor, staring up at me. She couldn't close her eyes because the rope around her neck was squeezing them open.

Is she dead, huh? I followed you down. Well, who rafer you. The next time you sneak up on somebody, you'll probably end up with a skull fracture. Just wanted to see what was going on.

Is she dead? Unless you can breathe through her feet. She's been strangled. Gonna call the cops? No, no. I thought I'd rub her wrists for a while. Now here's a buck. Call Lieutenant Levinson at the fifth precinct and tell him what's happened.

Sure. Got her, Nico? Yeah, here. And tell him I've gone over to the Adams Hotel on 28th Street. My name's Diamond. Good for you. Now, step on it. He left in a hurry, and I reached in my pocket and took another look at the book of matches I've gotten from the black handbag.

They were from the Adams Hotel on 28th Street, so I went over there fast. The sleepy night clerk showed me the register, and I found what I was looking for. I remembered the initials on the handbag were D.K.

A Dorothy King was registered in room 306. I went upstairs. I got a message for you. Snap it under the door. I'm not that skinny. What is it? It's from Glenda. Right now, shut it.

Come on in. Huh? Oh, what a lovely gun. Glad you like it. What do you want? I just left Glenda. She's dead. What? Yeah, strangle. How'd you find me? Matches in your purse. They were from this hotel.

I checked the initials on the bag with the register. DK, Dorothy King, room 306. Holmes would call it elementary. You must be the sharpest friend I gave the bag to earlier this evening. That's right. How did you know?

Well, she called me. She told you she got it back? I feel a quiet street coming on. I usually like women who don't talk much, but right now you'd better start talking as fast as you can.

Funny thing this gun I got makes me lazy. I get out of here. Baby, maybe I got a big fat surprise for you. Yeah? Yeah, my gun makes bigger holes than yours. Huh? What do you think I'm doing with my right hand keeping it warm?

I don't give me that. You ain't got nothing but a big finger in that pocket. Oh! Surprise. Next time I make it count. Wait a minute. Sure. Drop it. That's better. Kick it over here.

Please, I didn't kill Glenda. Where's the purse? I ain't got it on us. Well, who has? I look baby. I'm in a bad mood. I don't know. That's right. She don't, mister. Stan. Well, you certainly know some pretty ugly company, Donnie.

I don't know if I like that. You don't? Maybe I can word it a little different. Stan, he's a private copy. Come up here and try to shove me around. Now you should have done it, Shamas.

Would have saved me the trouble. What do you mean, huh? Well, you're no good, cheap double-crosser. Alame, so you slipped the back to that old dame, and Al got killed trying to get it from the Shamas.

Have you killed Al? No, the old dame did it. I went up to the office and found him dying. He told me she'd done it. What are you gonna do? Well, the organization don't like being crossed.

I got the person the old dame and paid her off for killing poor Al Al. Now I gotta pay you off. I got a surprise for you too, Stanley. Yeah, you try anything, you have more holes than you than a fishnet.

He's got a gun in his pocket. Well, look at his pocket-wise guy. Oh, gee, I wish Al was here. He'd know what to do. Oh, and shoot him. Shoot him. Stan's got to come on.

Looks like it's a tie. No sense in both of us getting killed. Yeah. Yeah. You plug me and I'll nail you before I go to the... Listen to him. I think he's got a point.

What are you going to do? That's up to him. Yeah. As Al would say, a hurried departure is in order. I'll take care of you later, Doc. If... goodbye all. It's pretty good. Al would like that.

Don't let him get away. Stop him! You stop him. All right, baby. Where is he going with that purse? If I tell you, will you give me a chance to get out of town? I can't do anything about that when I leave you're on your own.

Technically, you haven't done anything to log it or hold you for. I have? No, but that won't stop me from pushing you around. Now, let's have the story. If Stan hasn't been there already, he's headed for a locker in the subway station at 34th Street.

What's in the locker? $100,000 in counterfeit bills. Oh, baby. Counterfeit, you have been naughty. Now, Papa, we'll have to keep you on ice for the cops. Get in the closet. Please, give me a break.

Sorry, honey, get in. No, you're hurting me. I went down to the night clerk and told him to tell Lieutenant Levinson when he got there about the blonde in the closet of room 306. The subway wasn't far, but Stanley had a head start and he was in a hurry.

I ran the rest of the way. I went down the steps, a train was just pulling out when I spotted him. He'd just taken a bundle out of one of the lockers, and as he turned to go, I walked up behind him.

Hello, Stanley. What? What you got in the box? The sharpest. Here you take it. Oh! He tossed the package in my face and started running for the exit. But a crowd of people blocked his way, and when he saw me come up with my gun, he changed his mind.

He turned and vaulted the turnstool and I ducked behind the row of lockers. He had a gun too. I tried to get a clear shot at him, but there were too many people. And then the frightened little guy did a stupid thing.

He jumped down in the tracks and started running up the tunnel. Oh look at that back! Stanley come back here, you can't get anywhere that way. You're sitting, Mac. He's running uptown on the downtown side.

Here's a corny line. Stop or I'll shoot. You won't get me! Stan, look out. There's a train coming. Look out! Oh, Mr. Diamond. Come in. Hello, Francis. Is Ms. Asher all right? She's better, sir. She's lying down in the study.

How's the jaw? Oh, I feel better, sir. This ice bag is helping the swelling. Hey, I'll be in the pantry if you need me, sir. Now, try not to. Hi. Well, poor baby. Yes. Poor little baby.

You're lucky he didn't mark you up. Oh, I'll get it. Francis is nursing his face. Asher residence? Let me talk to Diamond if he's there. He is. Rick? Mm-hmm. A conquest all over town. I end up down in the subway station and notice gets stuck in the turnstile.

Don't you think it'd be nice but the police department did not something once in a while? Oh, sure, sure. Right now I'm at 975 Park Avenue, nursing a beautiful redhead back to health. Oh, did you find the blonde in the closet?

Yeah, I got the whole story from her. You want to hear it? I guessed most of it. She was fencing for a counterfeit ring and she tried to cross them. The key to the locker was in that purse.

Yeah, in the compact. Different subway lockers around town and you were turned to make the context. So she figured she could use the hundred thousand. Well, nothing like being in business for yourself. She was afraid to pick it up herself so she was going to burn the glenda like she'd just forgotten it.

Ricky! Yes, dear? Are you listening to me? I just stopped. By Walt. What? Now wait a... What is it, baby? I want some sympathy. Sure, sure. What would you like, lover? Sing something. Oh, come on, baby.

We can do without them. No, I want you to. I'm sick, and then Blud should be pampered. Let me rub your hair or something. Afterwards. I want you to sing. Oh, but it's late, baby.

Then sing softly. Sing me to sleep. Oh, honey. I get mad and you'll have to buy me a present. Eh, okay. Lullaby. And good night With roses be died. That's wonderful. Whittle it. Well, what is that?

Oh, it's that grouchy new neighbor. Oh, it is, huh? Hey, you want something, bud? Yeah, shut your big bezel! Oh, is that right? Boring a face with sunshine. Oh, Lord! Put on a great big smile.

Make up your eyes with laughter. You will, Lord. He's Rick. OK. And guy gets shell-shocked if you fry potato. Wig. What is it, baby? Come here. You do need pampering. You have just heard Richard Diamond, private detective, starring Dick Powell.

Helen was played by Virginia Gregg, Lieutenant Levinson by Ed Beggley. Also in our cast were Wilms Herbert, Betty Lou Gerson, Jane Morgan, Jack Crucion, I Abba back, Herb Butterfield, and Wally Mayer. Music was under the direction of David Baskerville.

Richard Diamond is written by Blake Edwards and directed by William P. Rousseau. Now this is Eddie King inviting you to be with us again at the same time next week. When we will again bring you Dick Powell as Richard Diamond, Private Detective.

This program has come to you transcribed from Hollywood. This is NBC, the National Broadcasting Company.