Lady Be Good

Ladies and gentlemen, the Railroad Hour. And here comes our star-studded show train. Tonight, the Association of American Railroads presents the George Gershwin Musical Lady Be Good, starring Groucho Marx and your host Gordon MacRae.

Our choir is under the direction of Norman Luboff, and our music is arranged and conducted by Carmen Ragan. Yes, tonight, another great musical success is brought to you by the American Railroads. The same railroads that also bring you most of the food you eat, the clothes you wear, the fuel you burn, and all the other things you use in your daily life.

And now here is Gordon MacRae! Good evening ladies and gentlemen. On stage tonight is that famous Gershwin hit, Lady Be Good. In the leading role of tonight's production, we are delighted to have the one and only Groucho Marx, who plays the role of T. Watterson Watkins, a lawyer of, shall we say, easy conscience.

I'm Dick Trevor, a writer whose huge collection of rejection slips has finally gotten my sister Susie and me into a little tango with the law. And it is charged that you, Richard Trevor and your sister Susan Trevor, did forcibly resist an officer when he attempted to dislodge you from your apartment for non-payment of rent.

How do you play guilty or not guilty? I guess we're guilty, Your Honor. Guilty? I hereby sentence you to 90 days or $1,000 fine. $1,000? We don't have $1,000. We couldn't even pay our rent.

You won't have to worry about rent for the next 90 days. Next case. I'll make it cozy here, Dick. I'll put chint on the windows to hide the bars. And your desk and typewriter can go out the window.