Walter vs. Stretch Grudge Match

I'm Olive Soap, your beauty hope and bluster cream shampoo for soft glamorous, caressible hair bring you our Miss Brooks starring E. Barton. Most teachers take a pretty active interest in their school's various athletic teams, but our Miss Brooks, who teaches English at Madison High School, could never get too enthusiastic about the baseball team.

That is, until Mr. Boynton, Madison's bashful biologist took over the coaching job. Then I watched every game with avid interests. I even studied up on baseball terms. Until by the third game on Madison's schedule, I could accurately describe every play in every chucker.

And I even knew the names of the pitchers warming up in the pig pen. A bull pen. Last Thursday morning I really looked forward to picking up some first-hand knowledge of the game. Walter Denton, the manager of the team, and stretch snot grassed star player, were to pick me up and drive me to school.

I had asked my landlady, Mrs. Davis, to wake me promptly at 7.30. Oh, Connie. Get up, Connie. You want me to pinch it? What do you want to do, Mrs. Davis? I do hope you're safe, Connie.

Oh, safe? Safe where? From the looks of your dead sheet, you just slid into home plate. Now get up here. Water and stretch should be here soon. Oh, that's right. The Rover boys are picking me up today, aren't they?

They're a grand couple of kids, Connie, and they're always together. I've never seen two people so inseparable. Just like Mr. Boynton and myself, except that we're separable. I'd like to wear something sporty today. Let's see now, what do I have that looks real baseball-ish?