Irma Gets a Raise ( )

My friend Irma, created by Cy Howard, transcribed from Hollywood and starring Marie Wilton as Irma and Kathy Lewis as Jane. I made a resolution to treat Irma Peterson as a normal human being. How can I treat her like a normal person? Do you know what happened last night we came home from the movies?

And I said to Irma, I smell gas escaping and Irma said, you do? Well, there are clothes to wind up. Now it can't escape! Hahaha! Hahaha! Oh! That's you, sweetie. Yes, why are you, Jane?

I can't see with all this laundry-hanging. The papers said freezing weather, so I have to dry the clothes indoors. Yeah, but I can't see you. I'm sitting over here in a chair between pedicots and blouses.

Honey, you just go straight down past towels, turn left at aprons until you see bathrobes, and then make a sharp right-turned bed spritz. You guys? I think so! Okay. Jane, where are you? I'm quite tall.

Oh, cookie, your head's stuck in a pillowcase here. When you just sit down, please, my nerves are on edge. If you're not, everything is so upset. What's wrong? I don't know, I'm everything. Here we've been working, six years, scrimping, being careful.

Here I sit in a small apartment with wet laundry, hanging from the ceiling. Can't even afford the price of a clothes dryer. But Jane, please or I don't feel like any dialogue. But Jane, I'm sure that anything you have to tell me anything you have to tell me is not important besides I got a headache.

Would you get me some aspirin? All right, Jane, the first I want to tell you that I've got a $10 rate. What? Yes! And now how many aspirin do you want? Who asked for aspirin?