Jack Benny gets a haircut in his dressing room while Rochester trims and shaves him, and the two trade jokes about Jack's sentimental keepsakes and his thin hair. Phil Harris mentions a surprise party for Alice, and Jack is invited along. Later, in the studio, Jack's guest Mr. Kitzel arrives with a ticket, the cast rehearses the show, and Dennis Day sings. The program is the Jack Benny show, heard on NBC and CBS Radio, first broadcast on November 10, 1946. The lead actors are Jack Benny, Mary Livingstone, Eddie Anderson and Phil Harris.
Characters: Jack Benny, Rochester, Phil Harris, Alice, Mary Livingstone, Mr. Kitzel, Dennis Day, Don Wilson
The transcript of “Gets Haircut, Trouble with Sportsmen”, an episode of Jack Benny first broadcast November 10, 1946. Press a time to play from that line (a 60-second preview; Potato Plus plays it all). The Jack Benny Program plays Jack Benny free, live around the clock. Search inside this transcript.
Transcript
The Jack Benny program quality of product is essential to continuing success It takes fine tobacco to make a fine cigarette and first last and always lucky strike means fine tobacco LSMT LSMT LSMT remember here in year out lucky strike means fine tobacco and in a cigarette But it's the tobacco that counts.
Season after season at auction after auction, independent tobacco experts, auctioneers, buyers and warehousemen, can see the makers of Lucky Strike consistently selected by that fine, that light, that naturally mild tobacco. Fine light naturally mild tobacco.
Yes, Lucky Strike means fine tobacco. And fine tobacco means real deep down smoking enjoyment for you. So smoke that smoke of fine tobacco, Lucky Strike. I'm American. I'm starring Jack Benny with Barry Livingston, Phil Harris, Rochester, Dennis Day, and yours truly, Don Wilson.
And now, ladies and gentlemen, we take you back 15 minutes. Jack Benny is in his dressing room where Rochester is trimming his hair. Just a little more off the side, Rochester. Yes, sir. You know Rochester may sound funny, but when I was a kid, I had the most beautiful head of the house.
Beautiful head of thick golden curls. You did? Yeah. In fact, my mother was so proud of him, she gave a curl to every one of our relatives. Well, you better write to them, boss. It's time to get them back.
Yeah. A holler, Rochester. How much of you trimmed off the sides? Almost a handful. Good. Now sprinkle it around on top. Thanks. What are you laughing at? This ain't no haircut. It's a landscaping job.
That was a little trick I learned in agricultural school. Good old bandini tech. Yes, sir. I thought shaving you now. Roger, I thought you said you forgot my shaving cream. I did, but this double worked fine.
…
Okay. See, that Rochester makes up the wildest things. That's kind of funny. I wonder if he'd be good on the radio. Nah. He'd always be late for rehearsal, too. a rehearsal. Yeah. Yeah, I hope we have a good show today.
Oh, Mr. Benny, excuse me. Well, well, hello, Mr. Kitzel. They found the intrusion, but last week you promised me a ticket for your broadcast. Oh, yes, yes. I have one right here in my pocket.
There you are. Thank you. You, uh... You must, uh, you must like my program. Hey, Mr. Kitzel. Oh, it's one of my favorites. I like your program, Piba McGoo and McGee. Take your toilet. I'll do it.
I'll do it. I'll do it. I'll date with Julia. Julia. And on Friday night, I'm listening to People are Snooks. No, no, no. You mean people are funny. Hmm. With this ticket, I'll soon find out.
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