The Mad Doctor Of Downing Street

The Ford Dealers of America present the Fred Allen Show. Fred Allen Show with Fred's guest Basil Rathbone, Paul van der Puyer, Peter Donald, Parker Fenley, the Demarcosisters, and Al Goodman and his Orchestra. And this is Kenny Delmar speaking for your Ford dealer.

It has been years since any new development in trucks has created such a sensation as the new line of Ford trucks in the first place there but tomorrow. Hey, it's Sunday night again. Here comes Fred Allen and his new Ford to keep his weekly date at the corner of Main Street.

As Fred turns to lock his Ford, he hears a voice say, Mr. Allen. Portland, Jesus Christ. Portland, what is that there? What is that poster? You just tacked up on the telephone pole. This is natural health week.

Natural health week. Well, it's about time we had a health week. Lately, we've had nothing but disease weeks. Sign this week, have your appendix out week. Get a friend to look in and see if your tonsils are infected week.

If people observe natural health week, they'll live forever. Oh, that's bad. If people live forever, what will become of the undertakers? They'll all be busy. Busy doing what? They're eating doctors. You mean if people are all healthy?

The doctors will starve to death. Oh, that's ridiculous. The doctors are so rushed today, they're calling the latest sickness virus X. They haven't even got time to think up a name for it. I read that some doctors laboratory up town is selling mouse milk for $10,000 a quart.

Only a quart to a customer, one quart. How do they milk the mouse? Well, they use tweezers and a small dixie cut. And a man with a light touch, I understand. Open me on excellent authority, which I checked out later on.