David the Nursemaid

Your Coca-Cola bottle represents Claudia Claudia based on the play and novels by Rose Franken Brought to you transcribed Monday through Friday by your friendly neighbor who bottles Coca-Cola Relax and while you're listening refresh yourself Have a Coke and now Claudia Somebody is calling you and you know it

Mmm, can we call you? Claudia. What, huh, what? All right, now you're a fine actress, and I've known it ever since I saw you do the fifth Mrs. Tanker-it dramatic school. Second. Second what? Second Mrs. Tanker-like.

I was sleeping. Sleeping? Been in bed all the time? I have been in bed all day. I don't try to sound like an innocent little lamb. You're a disobedient and unruly patient. That's a fine thing to call anyone so early in the morning.

What, you ask for it? Despite everything, Dr. Williams and your mother and I, and especially Bertha, told you you got out of bed. Really? Really. Can you prove it? Your toothbrush is wet. Oh, dap!

Shakespeare must have used such a clean cat. And you're such a clean story, tellin'. You were up and out of bed. You know you aren't supposed to get up all day. You seem to have forgotten what a narrow escape you had yesterday.

But nothing happened. Nothing happened. But enough happened for Dr. Williams to order you to bed. Now you're going to watch me prepare breakfast in bed. You cast the tattered bed, you've got to prepare it in the kitchen.

Ooh. I'm just going to pretend that wasn't said. Now here's your cat, and you can try your jokes on him while I cook. Then after breakfast, to work I go. I'm spending the whole day home with my drawing board and you.