Burns and Allen · January 10, 1946 · 29 min · 3,528 words
The transcript of “Gracie's Club Takes In An Opera Singer”, an episode of Burns and Allen first broadcast January 10, 1946. Press a time to play from that line (a 60-second preview; Potato Plus plays it all). The Burns and Allen Show plays Burns and Allen free, live around the clock. Search inside this transcript.
Machine transcript (may contain errors).
It's Maxwell House Coffee Time starring George Burns and Gracie Allen. With yours truly Bill Goodwin and the music of Meredith Wilson and his orchestra. For deep down laughs and listening enjoyment it's George and Gracie.
And for deep down coffee drinking enjoyment it's Maxwell House. With extra flavor in the blend because of choice Latin American coffees. Skilfully combined. extra flavor in the cup because radiant roast develops the full flavor of every coffee bean.
And the result is that today more people buy Maxwell House than any other brand of coffee in the world. While George has had a pretty rough week, what with Meredith Wilson and his joke book occupying the den, but this morning the little man has decided to be happy come what may, as he strolls into the living room with a song on his lips.
Ain't misbehaving all by myself, ain't misbehaving. I'm happy you're the show man. Honest, he's not suffering, he's really happy. But there is one thing the poor little goon doesn't know. Going on in the dentist, a meeting of Gracie's club, the Beverly Hills Uplift Society.
Unaware of the frightful doom that lies in wait, he cheerfully scratches himself and looks around for his wife. Oh Gracie, here's your Boopsy Boy! Boopsy Boy, isn't that revolting? Maybe she's in the den talking to Meredith. No George, no, keep out of the den, it's full of uplifters.
You're headed for disaster like a duck waddling straight into the frying pan. Waddily other way George, oh too late, his hands on the doorknob. Oh, my gosh, Ryan, I'm going to be in the sand.
Oh, no. It's not that. He doesn't think it's real. He can't believe fate would play such a dirty trick on a good-natured little schnook. Who never did anything worse than tee up a golf ball in the rough.
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