Guest - Ray Milland

Oh, George! That's Bill Goodwin speaking for Leaver Brothers, makers of Swan, the new white floating soap that's pure as fine castes do. While it's Tuesday night again, time for another pleasant visit with George Burns and Gracie Allen, our guest star Ray Milan, Jimmy Cash, Felix Mills, Nis Orchestra, and the Swan Death.

Now, meet the people who live in the Burns House, George and Gracie. While it's morning in the Burns' home, and as George comes into the living room, he is greeted by a very excited Gracie.

Oh, George, I've got the most sensational news you'll never believe in. What is it? Well, what's the most unbelievable thing you can think of? Hitler's gonna be a guest star in Eddie Cantus' program. More unbelievable than that.

Well, what? Tootsie-Sack will be gonna get married. That I don't believe. Nobody would marry that name. Why, George took these very attractive. She has a perfectly balanced face. Balance? Certainly. One of her chin does receive her teeth stick way out.

Yeah, that sort of makes it balance. Yeah, and her figure is pretty, too. You just ought to get a look at Tootsie and Esweta. You've never seen such beautiful ribs. Yeah, she's a dream. Who's she gonna marry?

A soldier. He just got back from six months in the jungle and Tootsie was the first woman he saw. Ah, the poor kid. We're gonna have the wedding right here in this room. Oh, that reminds me. I better call a locksmith.

The locksmith? Yeah, the lock on that door doesn't work and he took his locks so many men that way. You think of everything. Now, Gracie, would you just put the wedding aside? I've got some wonderful news for you.