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A Psychiatrist For Costello With Linda Darnell

Abbott and Costello · March 23, 1944 · 28 min · 2,738 words

The transcript of “A Psychiatrist For Costello With Linda Darnell”, an episode of Abbott and Costello first broadcast March 23, 1944. Press a time to play from that line (a 60-second preview; Potato Plus plays it all). Abbott and Costello plays Abbott and Costello free, live around the clock. Search inside this transcript.

Machine transcript (may contain errors).

Transcript

a half hour of laughs and music. Me broadcast for you men and women in the armed forces of the United Nations. Ready, Rachael and D'Orca, the songs of Connie Hay. Tonight's guest, the 20th Century Park star, Miss Linda Darnell.

And starring, what happened in Luke? Many Rachael the Autistrabs have requested for Speak Low. It's getting into you. You're acting like a mittwit.

I ain't no mittwit, Abbot. I used to be a mittwit, but I lost my needle. Ah. You lost your needles. I lost that. That's fine. What's come over you? You're a custellist. Think out your tongue.

Before I ain't mad at you. Now, come on. Let me see your tongue. Okay. You've got a coat on your tongue. Look down for it. Maybe it's your pep head. Yeah. Custell, are you sick or something?

Come here. Let me feel your pulse. Eh, eh. Let me put my hand on your brow. Are you kidding? Come on. Let me put my hand on your brow. And let me put my head on your shoulder.

What for? Let's stand. Oh, come on. Cut it out, you dummy. Custellie, you're not looking very well today. And you didn't look well last night. Did you take that alcohol rub like I told you?

I didn't have any alcohol, so I wrote myself down with a bottle of beer. I almost broke my neck. Almost broke your neck, how? Trying to blow the foam off my back. That's hard. Yes, I know. The trouble with you, Coste, the way is that you don't get enough fresh air.

Now, why don't you get out in your garden like other people and plant some seeds? Ah, plant no seeds. That's a fake. That seed stuff is no good, Abbot. What do you mean it's a fake?

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