Guest Lana Turner

The song of Connie Haines, Billy Gray and Little Matilda, the famous cartoon character Bugs Bunny. Tonight's guest, Metro Golden Mayor star of Marriage is a private affair, Miss Manhattan and starring, but avid and this way for the avid Costello show.

Tickets please. See the avid Costello show. Really folks, it's a good show. Won't somebody please come in? Come on, Mr. McPherson. The Costello Show. Really folks, it's a good show. Won't somebody please come in?

Come on in, you coward! OK, OK, OK, Niles. Wyatt, Bud Abbott, hello, Bud. Hello, Mr. Abbott, welcome back. Thanks, Mrs. Niles. Listen, have either one of you seen Costello? He was supposed to meet me here in the lobby of NBC, and it's almost time to start the broadcast.

Personally, I don't care if Costello never shows up. All last season, he did nothing but insult me. But Mrs. Miles, don't tell me you're carrying a grudge for a year. Well, why not? I've got a sister I haven't spoken to in 20 years.

And Costello reminds me of my sister, except for the mustache. But Costello hasn't got a mustache. No, but my sister has. Come in here. Hey, Ken! Hey, Ken! I've got to get in here.

Ken, Ken, look who it is. What is it? Hey! Costello, where have you been? Look at you. You're perspiring something awful. I ain't perspiring, Abbot. I just took a shower with my shirt, Saksin' underwear on.

You took a shower with your shirt, Saksin' underwear on, what's the idea? You know a quicker way to get your laundry done. Oh, no. Oh, Kenneth, did you hear that joke? Yes, dear. There will now be a slight pause for station fumigation.