The Monster Twist

Six billion years ago, great natural explosions brought the Earth, and a living, breathing thing was born. A week ago, last Tuesday, it shuttered, slithered, and made its way from the swami depths of the Marianas Trench.

Does it want to devour Cleveland, Ohio? No, man. Does it want to live in Cleveland, Ohio? Well, it's a nice place to visit, but what does it want to do? I just want to twist.

Yes, man. Well, so does everybody. What makes you so special? Well, I got four other hits, that's my own fool to do. Do-do-do, and you bump and grind! And was doing the monster twist.

The stock market panicked, and the Dow Jones averages plummeted 87 points in 12 seconds. Veteran observers on Capitol Hill filibustered, and the decision was made to attack. Sixteen thousand B70s, flamethrowers, missiles, and spitballs bombarded the monster.

Yet, nothing could stop the havoc, reeked by his twelfth, or two, or twist. But then the government called on its secret weapon. All right, folks, a one and a two, and everybody's gotta do the bubble of bombs because everybody knows it's what a friend that counts of men.

Oh, no. No, not that. I can't stand it. Hell!