A Sick Phil Harris

From Hollywood, the Phil Harris Alice Fay Show. For your enjoyment, here is the Phil Harris Alice Fay Show, written by Ray Singer and Dick Chevrolet, with Elliot Lewis, Walter Tetley, Robert North, Janine Ruth, and Whitfield, Walter Sharpen is music, yours truly, Bill Foreman, and starring Alice Fay and Phil Harris.

Things are rather hectic in the Harris household this morning. The, uh, master is sick. Some of you women may think you have trouble taking care of a sick husband, But girls you ain't seen nothing till you've seen a sick Phil Harris Is it nobler to suffer the slings and arrows of the south bridges fortune or perchance take arms against the sea of trouble and by opposing

end it all Get zooks. Nobody has ever suffered like this before. No body. Oh, for heaven's sake, I never saw such a fuss over an ingrown haier. It's not an ingrown ha. My whole body's on fire.

Now, just what part of your body hurts, Phil? Is it your head, your shoulders, your chest? You're back, you're legs? Yes. Just pick a spot and that's it. All I know is I woke up this morning with ooh, with stabbing pains in my back.

Why don't you let me call the doctor? He wouldn't know what's wrong with me. Why not? I got a disease that hasn't been discovered yet. Well, you're not that sick. Don't tell me. I'll be as sick as I want.

Oh, Alice, let's face it. I'm a doom man. And even if I live, which I'm sure I won't, I'll only be a shell in my former self. And I don't want to be a burden to you, honey.