Riley Wants a New Stove for a Cake Baking Contest

Minus Beer Served anywhere proudly presents the life of Riley, starring William Bendix as Riley. That's Blue Ribbon. What do you have? That's Blue Ribbon. What do you have? That's Blue Ribbon. That's Blue Ribbon Served.

Minus Beer Served. Anywhere. What do you have? That's Blue Ribbon. And now, the life of Riley. Just Ray Riley's marriage is a relatively smooth one. That's because Riley, keen student of the female mind that he is, operates on the principle that what his wife doesn't know won't hurt him.

For instance, the other day... Now you understand Riley, tell Mr. Simpkins I want the base wired for a lamp and to drill a hole in the bottom for the wires. You understand? Yes, I understand. I understand.

Now you wait there while he does it. And you're $5.00. Yeah, $5.00, just to drill a little hole. I'll do it for you for nothing, take it. No, thank you. That face is genuine wedge wood, and I don't want anything to happen to it.

But I tell you, I can fix it, Peggy. No, sure. Like you fix the gas stove. Some day we'll all be asphyxiated. I don't know what you did to it, but I believe... That stove works perfect. All you gotta do is remember one little thing. When you want the gas turned on, you turn it off, and when you want to turn it off, you turn it on.

You ought to be simpler than that. You better take the vase into simple. Why don't you let me fix it? I don't see the point of paying $5 to make a lamp out of a vase.

You can pick up on any junk shop for 50 cents. Vase is worth at least $50. I've had it over 20 years. And if it got cracked, I'd never forgive myself. When you're a vase.