Greatest Man I Know

It's new, it's amazing, it's Prel, P-R-E-L-L. Proctor and Campbell's new radiant cream shampoo in the handy tube. Mel brings you the life of Riley. Mel, the shampoo that removes unsightly dandruff in as little as three minutes and leaves hair radiantly clean, radiantly lovely, presents the life of Riley with William Band-Akes as Riley.

Well it's five thirty and four millions of workers the day's toil is over. Among them is Chester A. Riley who with a hard days worked behind him is happily homeward bound on the bus. And as the bus reaches his corner, Riley, cheerfully gets off.

Let me, true, please. Quit your shove. Mr. That's my foot. Madam, will you please stop combing my hair? Watch that umbrella, fucking. Let me off! Oh, well, I work out. I ain't a bus, it's a gymnasium.

Oh, they're a neighbor? Well, if it ain't, who bought Morris? Walking my way, right? Yeah, sure. Say it, Morris, how come a big shot real estate operator like you is walking? Where's your Cadillac? Oh, I thought I'd walk home today for a change.

Having a car is more of a nuisance than anything else. No place to park in that traffic. Stopping and farting, popping and farting. Believe me Riley, you don't know how lucky you are, you can't afford a car.

I'm even luckier than that, I can't afford my bus fare. Well, we all have our fiscal problems, but it's good to get home after a hard day's work. This is the part of the day I like this.

Yeah, I need to. I go through the same routine every night, but I never get tired of it. When I get home, I hand my coat to the maid, ask the cook what we're having for dinner, then I kiss my dear wife.