Simon Is 'Advice to the Lovelorn' Column Editor

The life of Riley with William Bendix says Riley. Chester A. Riley is a man who usually agrees with his wife. Except when they happen to be disagreeing about young Simon Vanderhopper, their daughter Babs' boyfriend and the bane of Riley's existence.

You were wrong, Riley, and you know it. I was right. I only did my duty as a father. It's not your duty to humiliate your daughter by throwing her boyfriend out of the house. That's Simon deserved it. He's a good for nothing loafer.

Simon's a nice boy. Uh, some boy. 21 years old, he still eats whiteback. Well, suppose he does. He ate up my whole box. It's all like his tactic. All right, so you don't like him. Is that any reason to throw him out?

I had my reason. I was listening when he was alone with beds in the living room. But she didn't hear anything. That's why I threw him out. I don't trust him. Why not? I don't trust any boy who...boom.

I don't trust any boy. Why don't you have a little faith in people? When you were caught in me, my father trusted you, didn't he? Yeah, but he regrets it to this very day. Besides, the boys of pity ain't got no respect for girls.

The minute they meet one, Bingo, they try to kiss her. I didn't kiss you until after we were married. Oh, you forget very easily. What about that time just after we got engaged? I'm at boat ride.

Didn't you put your arms around me and kiss me? Oh, well, that didn't count. I thought it was somebody else. We're talking about silence. Riley, you're wrong and you might as well admit it. I'm right and I'll prove it to you. In the first...