Professor Barrettes Play

Transcribe! Ladies and gentlemen, the jaws of Schlitz Brewing Company of Milwaukee, Wisconsin presents The Hauls of Ivy, starring Mr. and Mrs. Ronald Coleman. When there's beer on your mind... Your best thought is Schlitz, the beer that made Milwaukee famous.

More people like the taste of Schlitz than any other beer. That's why Schlitz is the largest selling beer in America. That's a wrong of us here. To Ivy. Ivy College, that is, in the town of Ivy, USA.

A vast silence has recently descended upon the campus. The midterm examinations will soon begin, and like most college presidents, Dr. William Todd Hunter Hall enjoys this terminal love. He gives him a chance to lock himself up in his study and polish off the accumulated unfinished business.

And that's what he's doing at the moment. His wife, the former Victoria Cromwell of the London stage, has just answered the front doorbell. She enters the living room with a visitor and says, well if you're quite certain it's important I'll try and get him out but I must warn you Mr er...

Nolan, Harry Nolan. Well I must warn you Mr Nolan that I may not succeed. Once my husband locked himself up in his study he becomes entirely oblivious to the rest of the world. In fact compared to Dr. Hall when he's concentrating a Hindu faker on a bed of nails could be termed flighty.

It's important. Well, I do my best. William. William, the house is over. William? How important is it, Mr. Nolan? I've flown in all the way from New York to offer your husband $150,000, Mrs. Hall.

You rate it. 100. Don't you worry. I'll get him out. I'll use the old piano routine. The old? Yeah, the old piano routine. I generally reserve it for just such emergencies as this. It never fails. Hold him up of the ear, in fact.