Stolen First Edition

Ladies and gentlemen, the jaws of Schlitz Brewing Company of Milwaukee, Wisconsin presents the halls of Ivy starring Mr. and Mrs. Ronald Coleman. It's curious. I tasted it. Now I know why Schlitz is the largest-selling beer in America.

No wonder it's the beer that made Milwaukee famous. Good beer. You'll find it pays to be curious and learn about Schlitz for yourself. And now the halls of Ivy! Let's uh... Now come again to Ivy. Ivy College, that is, in the town of Ivy, USA.

It's a quiet day, a day of contentment, if not fulfillment. Even the flies muffle their buzz in respect to the general reports, but just not according to the appearance. In a dormitory, two students cramming for a final examination in calculus are engaged in a hot contest of canasta.

A professor of philosophy has just scalled at his throat with a boiling cup of tea. And in the tranquil home of Ivy's president, Dr. William Todd Hunter Hall, his wife Victoria, erstwhile leading actress of the London stage, is pacing the floor as though waiting for a first night curtain.

Am I late? No, but I just couldn't wait for you to get back today. Why today, more than any other day? Because I have something for you that I think you wanted for a long time.

There ever been a moment that you haven't had everything I've wanted for a long time. Yeah, there you are. For Dr. Hall, with the compliment, I'll meet at Hall. We'll go on and wrap it.

First I'd like to make a little speech about how my gratitude runs over. Hello, tornado. We've gone to open it. No, no, no. It looks like it's... And it is a book. It's... Vicki. You're welcome, you're talking.