Professor Gerhardts Secret

The gentleman, the Jones of Schlitz Brewing Company of Milwaukee, Wisconsin, presents The Halls of Ivy, starring Mr. and Mrs. Ronald Coleman. It was curious. I tasted it. Now I know why Schlitz is the beer that made Milwaukee famous.

If you like good beer, you'll find it pays to be curious and learn about Schlitz for yourself. And now, the Hall of Ivy. That's a round of hands. Welcome again to Ivy. Ivy College, that is, in the town of Ivy USA.

The president of Ivy College has a residence on the campus, which is known as the student body, naturally not, as the powerhouse. And here are the powers themselves, Dr. William Totthunter Hall and his wife, Victoria, a former glittering ornament of the English musical comedy stage.

They're playing chess, a game which can be played for either sheer intellectual diversion or 10 cents a game. This is the 10 cent variety of it, that's because Mrs. Hall is saying. That's trick made, isn't it, dear?

Erm... You now owe me 20 cents. Erm, let me see. I mean, er, isn't any place you can move your king, is erm... Erm... no. No, no, you've won again, Victoria. Tell me what impelled you to zip that queen clear across the board.

That was a devastating move. I don't know. It was a clear space to move it, and she hadn't done anything for a long time, so I just slid her over. Was it good? Good. It was magnificent.

Are you sure you never played this game before you married me? It was cast on, I thought it. I always thought chess was a game for bearded old men and mental giants. That's pure nonsense, Victoria.