Gildy Swears off Girls, but Meets Thelma

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Wonderful new craft, all-purpose oil and liquid shortening. Bertie don't need a calendar to tell when the end of the month comes around Mr. Gil so you have it. No indeed. Bertie can tell when he begins checking his income against his outgoing stars yelling.

Birdie! Yes, I'm coming! Birdie, may I have a word with you? Yes, I got all the grocery bills right here in my hand. How'd you know what I wanted? Mr. Gills, leave, I ain't been round this house all these years for nothing.

I know when the mornin' starts, it's about money, so here's the bill. Where does the money go? Are we eating too much around here? Not me. I ain't getting a pound in here. Birdie still weighs a skimpy hundred and eighty-two.

Well, I didn't mean just you. Of course I know other people who have gained a pound or two in there. Ha ha ha! Well, we have to cut down someplace, Birdie. The amount of money I spend is ridiculous.

I'm glad you said I. But? Cause it ain't Birdie who spends the money. Birdie keeps her budget balanced. She serves a balanced meal on a balanced budget. You might call me Ballot Ferdy. Yeah, I realize that, Ferdy.