Gildy's New Hobby - Boat in a Bottle

The Craft Food Company presents The Great Gilder Slave. Yeah. It's The Great Gilder Slave, starring Harold Perry, brought to you by The Craft Food Company, makers of Parquet Margaroon and a complete line of famous quality food products.

Poor Gilder Slave, it seems, has had a bad night. He went to bed early last night and was lying there waiting when... What was that? Oh darn shutter must be a wind coming up Then meaning to fix that well, I can't fix it without a ladder can I?

That's right bang. I suppose that's gonna go on all night just when I need my sleep Wonder if there's some way I could Maybe if I leave out of the window far enough I could reach the catch Doc out there though in windy Suppose I slipped. They find my body in the barberry bushes in the morning. No, I'll just let it bang.

Well, go ahead, bang. Hmm, just the winds died down. Well, I'll... I'll just ignore it. I'll pretend it doesn't bother me. Go ahead bang, see if I care. Go ahead.

Never get to sleep this way. Better think about something else. If I had to think about something pleasant. What do I know that's pleasant? Nothing. Ziff. Oh, no. I could just stop thinking. What's good about it?

Gosh, you're late. I don't think everybody's finished eating. What happened? I didn't sleep at all. Where's my breakfast? Tell Bertie I want my breakfast. Hey Bertie, I'm late! Don't shout! I'm close to breakfast. Oh, excuse me, Mr. Gail. Sleep, I didn't know you were down.

I've been down for some time, Bertie. Waiting. I'm sorry, I didn't know you were awake. I was awake all night. Didn't sleep a wink last night. Not a wink. last night, not a wink. The reason I didn't sleep was a broken shutter, which has been banging outside my bedroom window every night for fully six months. Does anybody ever do