The Danny Kaye Theater

This is the Danny K Show with Harry James and his music makers. Presented by Pat Blue Ribbon, 33 fine-frues blended into one great beer. Dance Neighbors for your entertainment, Pat Blue Ribbon presents E-Barden, Lionel Stander, Bob Jollison, the outstanding music of America's top band, Harry James and his music makers, yours truly Ken Niles, and Danny K!

Danny Kay! Company night of Danny Kay's new playhouse, and in those frantic few moments, just before curtain time, all his confusion and excitement. The commentary is warming up. The face hands are putting a scenery into place.

The actors are running through their parts. The orchestra is in the pit, tuning up. Alright boys, alright, alright, alright. Now let's run through that number again. Okay, one, two, three. Think Tarobah would happen to me on opening night.

Well look at me, Evie, I'm bent over double. I can't straighten up. What? Well look at me, I'm bent over like a jackknife. Oh, now hold still a second, don't move. Now unhook your suspenders from your garter.

Oh. Oh, that desser. Gosh, Evie, I don't know what I'd do without you. I know what I'd do without you. I'd live to a ripe old age. Now look, Dan, they don't be nervous. Relax. Relax.

Relax, I'm not relaxed. I'm perfectly relaxed. What makes you think I'm not relaxed? I'm calm, cool. I'm nervous. I'm relaxed. I'm not nervous. I'm calm. Then will you take it easy? It's only opening night.

What can happen? Yes, you're absolutely right. What can happen? What can happen? A lot of things can happen. Nothing will happen. I've checked everything. The costume. They won't fit. The scenery. The lights. The lights.