Married... with Children (TV)

Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way to you. Oh, what fun is driving? Anyone goes openly, hey. You need Jack and a beer back. All right, out of here. Come on. You know the rules.

The elf bar's right down the street by the cop bar. You Santa stink. Nick Santa, the talk's down to me. It's gonna be ho-ho-ho-ing and soprano. Left the ointment on the floor. Hey Bundy.

Hey Bundy. This is Gewitz, Gates, Runstee. How's it going over at your mall, Bundy? Well, I've been peed on, spit on, snotted on, drooled on, and thrown up on, now it's Miller time. Give me a beer.

Here's to the death of Christmas forever. Here's it. Who are they? Hmm. Street corner charity, Santas. They think they're better than us. They're doing it out of goodness. If you do good for others, you are repaid tenfold.

Well, you son of a baby! Easy, big guy. It's not your fault. He go to you. Uh, it's just this damn Christmas that's got me down. Nobody cares what we want. Anybody want me? Well, I was gonna go see a Latin, but...

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Well, there's a guy with Christmas spirit. Yeah. You know, nothing makes you feel like a kid again at Christmas, like opening a two-packer hooters. Yeah. I'm gonna have a great time with the extra money I made.

I gotta buy gifts for the family. I used to have a foolproof system for Christmas. I invented it in 1974. No. No, he won't be anybody's daddy. Hey kids, Daddy will be home any second with our Christmas gifts.

He said if we were good, we'd get gifts. And we've been good. As far as he knows. Now little bud, what would you like for Christmas? Playboys, hooters, playboys, hooters! Oh, his first words. How about you, Kelly?