Used Cars (radio spot, 1980)

My friend, so you read my ad in the paper and you can't believe it, right? Used cars for no more than five bucks and you don't know how I can do it, right? Now I'm not talking about toy cars or model cars or pictures of cars.

I'm talking about used cars, that terrific new comedy from Columbia Pictures on display at a theater near you and it won't cost you more than a few bucks to get in and have a look at it.

Now don't hang up, wait a minute. If you're actually in the market for a newer used car, you've got to go see this movie and I'll tell you why. It's all about a bunch of dishonest, disreputable, immoral car salesmen who will use every trick in the book to unload their pieces of junk on an unsuspecting world.

And they're the good guys! Ha ha ha ha! They've even got a dog that sells cars and that's no bull! Whoa! Ha ha! But seriously, friend, if you're shopping for a car and you want a few pointers, or if you're shopping for a movie and you want one hell of a good time,

then used cars is the picture for you. Listen to these standard features. You get padded seats, air conditioning, public restrooms, and a ticket stub all for the price of admission. And listen to these great optional features. Popcorn, candy, soda pop, and hot dogs all available at a nominal extra charge.

Now friend, I don't want you to buy this movie. I just want you to go down to your local theater and take a look at it. I don't care if you laugh all the way through it. I don't care if you walk out when it's over. Just come on in and see it.