Charmin (commercial, 1970s)

Yeah, they're dead, they're... Oh, mister. That's right. See to it, there's no Charmin squeezing on company time. Yes, Mr. Stang. Nice workin' in the Charmin factory, Billy. Why? Well, you get to squeeze the Charmin bathroom tissue.

It's hard to resist, Lola. Mm. So squeezably soft. Don't let Miss Flag see you squeezin' Charmin. Oh, Bell busybody. Oh! Mr. Stang will hear about the squeezing the Charmin on company time. Mr. Fag, Mr. Fag!

Never hard, Miss Flag. You'll be fired, you lady, you've fired! But Charmon's so squeeze-a-blee soft, it's irresistible. Uh-huh. Squeeze for yourself. Oh, Charmon is soft. Sure. Soft braiding, too. Mm. Oh! Squeeze-a-blee, Charmon, on company time.

Mr. Fag! Return to your desk, ladies me. Right, Mr. Fag! I'll squeeze-a-blee, myself. But never...