Cap'n Crunch (commercial, 1971)

Here we are, crew, on the Galapagos Island. They seem like enchanted islands. We, and I, son of a foot, challenge you to a Galapagos tortoise race. Last one to cross the finish line is the monkey's uncle.

Oh, wow. You're on! No, no, I'm off. Wow. Look at him go. Hmm. Just as I thought. He's got a rovers gate under his tortoise. He'll win! Look here, father. This is Calvin Crunch's cereal, sweet and tasty, with corn for crunch and oats for ponch and a strange crunchy even in milk!

But Captain Crump, that tortoise is 50 years old! Well that's young for a Galapagos tortoise. He's not even a teenager yet. Faster, faster! Oh? Does that make your monkeys uncle a font? Heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh Captain Crump's.

From Quaker.