A Christmas Carol

as Richard Diamond's private detective. MUSIC Hello there, this is Diamond. Well, it's Christmas Eve. And every year about this time my business takes a big nose dive. People usually pack up their troubles and start unpacking colored lights and Christmas tree ornaments.

So tonight, instead of telling you about one of my hair raising exploits, we're going to tell you a Christmas story. So with apologies to Mr. Charles Dickens, we'd like to bring you an adaptation of one of his most famous stories, the Christmas Carol. Now I'd better explain something first. This version isn't exactly the way you heard it many times before.

Because the particular type of characters I usually get mixed up with, this story is written to fit their talents and characteristics. Different from the Dickens original certainly, but we feel that this story could easily happen today, anywhere.

like maybe right here in New York on a little side street just off the bar. So now I'd like to introduce our characters. Mr. Ebidezer Scrooge will be played by my good friend and guiding hand to the fifth precinct homicide division.

Lieutenant Walter Levinson. Walter! Otis! Come. The character of Jacob Mollie will be played by one of my dearest friends and constant companions. Otis, that's you, eh? Oh, uh, Sergeant Otis Lothloon. Love loon. Whoa! Oh, sorry Helen.

Tiny Tim will be played by our corner news boy. Johnny Rowans. Tiny Tim's mother will be played by my red-headed gal friend. Hell, I'm asking. The rest of the characters will be played by members of the Fifth Precinct Police Station.

Officer O'Reilly, Officer Lum, Officer Lofkowitz. Sergeant Miller. The music will be furnished by the Fifth Precinct Police Band directed by Patrolman Worth. And now our version of the Christmas classic, Charles Dickens, a Christmas carol.