Mr. Conklin Threatens to Abolish Football ( )

Oh, it's Armis Brooks starring Eve Arton. Like many other single young women, Armis Brooks, who teaches English at Madison High School, has often dreamed of having someone with whom to share a home as well as her joys and sorrows.

Sometimes though, the realization doesn't quite seem like the dream. How true that is. Although I now have someone with whom to share a home as well as my joys and sorrows, the person in my dream has built much differently than my land lady, Mrs. Davis.

But she's a sweet old soul, and she'll just have to do until someone tall, dark, and Mr. Boynton comes along. Yes. Last Thursday at breakfast, I had reason to feel that I might become a permanent tenant.

But before I could air my complaints, Mrs. Davis mentioned something that was on her mind. Wasn't that a terrible storm last night, Connie? I hardly slept a wink. Me either, Mrs. Davis. In fact, I was soaked to the skin.

Oh, that's too bad, dear. Why didn't you carry an umbrella with you? I don't know. I'm eccentric, I guess. I haven't taken an umbrella to bed with me in years. Too bad with you. Your room is right under the leak in our roof, isn't it?

Frankly, dear, I intended covering that roof with the rent money you owe me. Wouldn't the rain soak right through it? Oh, you mean you could get the roof repaired if I pay what I owe?

Exactly. With your five weeks back rent, I can get the entire roof done over. Oh, but I haven't got that much, Mrs. Davis. Well, how much can you afford? Enough for a cheap sponge. But couldn't we discuss the rent after I've finished this oatmeal?