Guest George Burns - George sings Jack's song (AFRS)

Harris Rochester, Tennessee, and yours truly now. You all know the exciting story of Kurt Carlson, Captain of the Flying Enterprise. But since we can't bring you that hero, we bring you a man who spent two days in a leaky canoe on Hollywood and Vine.

Jack Benny! Thank you, thank you, thank you. Hello again, this is Jack Benny talking, and Don, you did exactly what I thought you'd do. I knew you'd give me that kind of an introduction. Well, what's wrong with it?

I'll tell you what's wrong with it. Since we've had this terrific rainstorm, every comedy show will be loaded with gags about the rain, the mud, the deep water. I mean, why can't we be different?

But, Jack, with all the rain we've been having, I thought the subject would be topical. Well, we can talk about something else and still be topical. I mean, the weather's been cold, too. What are you talking about? It hasn't been cold.

It hasn't, eh? Don, Jane Russell has been wearing a sweater just to keep warm. So don't tell me it hasn't been cold, brother. Well, I know is the other day I got up at 7 o'clock in the morning.

What do you say? I say all I know is that the other day I got up at 7 o'clock in the morning, took a long walk in my shirt sleeves. Well Don, you can do that.

You're blubberized. You know what I mean? Jack, if you mean what I think you do, I've got news for you. My doctor said I'm not fat. Your doctor said you're not fat. You said the reason I look this way is because I've got small bones.