Margie (more complete)

Jack Benny program with very Livingston Phil Harris Rochester Dennis Day and yours truly Don Luke and now ladies and gentlemen It is with great pleasure that I present to you our master of ceremony that dignified song of stage cream and radio John Benny How again this is John Benny talking and down that introduction was just what I wanted thanks for your cooperation

You're perfectly welcome, but why after all these years? Do you want to change your name from Jack to John? Well, because I feel what the name John is much more dignified for a dramatic actor.

Dramatic actor? Certainly, Mary. Last week on my program I starred in I Stand Condemned. The week before that I did a dramatic part with a screen-gill player. Oh, yes, I heard that. What do you think of my acting?

You stand condemned. Well, that's a natural reaction from one whose talent springs from the stocking counter at the May continent. Anyway, I... But I agree with Don, there's no reason for changing your name. Mary, I like the name John because it'll be people from calling me Jackson and Jackie boys.

Imagine calling me Jackie boys. I'm not a kid anymore. You know, I'm nearing 37. Coming around again, eh? Yes, I was born in the Studebaker. That's why I wear glasses on the back of my head, too.

Anyway, remember, kid, the name is John and that settled this. Well, I think the whole thing is silly. Whether it's John Benny or Jack Benny, I don't see any difference because, after all, Jack is the nickname for John.

That's exactly what I'm getting at. Nicknames have no dignity. For instance, how would it sound if child's boy A made passionate love to a girl like this? Good. Come with me to the gas bar.