Broadcast from Buckingham Hospital Van Nuys, California

Thank you, thank you. Well, again, this is Jack Benny talking and Don, that was a very clever introduction. Split a rail, split an atom, split a check. But you know Don, you made history yourself.

And what do you mean, Jack? The only man who ever split a girdle. And live with me, will ya? Well, now hold on, Jack, I don't even wear a girdle. Well, you should, Don. When you had that suit made, three tailors worked on it at the same time, and they never even saw each other.

And live with me, will ya, brother? Stay here for the Sharp today, Jack. Well, you gotta be sharp when you're playing here for the boys at Birmingham Hospital. What a picturesque place, the beautiful San Fernando Valley, surrounded by high mountains with peaks that meet the sky, the floor of the valley with its boulevard that meet Van Nuys, the gates of Birmingham with its bus that meets nobody.

The fertile soil... Wait a minute, Jack, I thought the bus service out here was excellent. Excellent. Don, a soldier in Hollywood had the seven-year inch. They sent him to Birmingham by bus and it took so long that the itch got off at Sherman Oaks.

By the time you... Oh, hello Mary. Hello Jack, hiya fellas. Hey, these boys really gave you a terrific reception Mary. Maybe that's because they know me here Jack. You see, on a member, the VACS, the Volunteer Army Cantine Service.

Oh, the VACS? Yes, a lot of my friends belong to it. We come out to the hospital two or three times a week and go through the war to cigarette, Candy, apples, oranges, bananas, and the boys really go for them.