Jack's Upset About Appearance On The Quiz Kids

No, no, Mary, I made up my mind. I am not going into that studio and broadcast tonight. Oh, Jack, let's not stand out here in the hall arguing. Everybody's looking at us. Let them look.

Do you think I can do a show tonight after making a monkey out of myself on that quiz kids program? You're crazy. That was Wednesday. People have forgotten all about us. Oh, they have, eh?

And besides you're a comedian. You're not supposed to have any brains. Oh, you're just trying to make me feel good. There I was with those little kids and I couldn't answer one question. And me, 34 years old.

I couldn't even answer a simple question like, where's the Taj Mahal? You could have built the Taj Mahal since you were 34. Go ahead, rub it in. What a blunder. After all the years I spent in Schobens, I had to stick my neck out and ruin everything.

Oh well, that's life for you. Pardon me, Mr. Dunny. May I have your autograph? You don't want my autograph, girly. I'm washed up. Thanks, just the same. Oh, Jack, you have to dramatize everything. I do, eh?

Supposing you did miss on a few questions. You're not supposed to be Einstein. I'm not supposed to be Phil Harris either. My goodness. My cousin, Boo-Boo, would have been as good as I was on that program.

And all he knows is, Boo-Boo-Boo-Boo-Boo-Boo-Boo-Boo-Boo-Boo-Boo-Boo-Boo-Boo-Boo-Boo-Boo-Boo-Boo-Boo-Boo. I tell you, I tell you, Mary, I'm not going on the air tonight. Oh, for heaven's sake, if you're so ashamed of yourself, why don't you join the foreign Legion?

I think that's a gag, Mary, but the foreign Legion isn't such a bad idea. I can't get over it. Imagine not getting that one question about the Taj Mahal. I knew the answer, but I opened my mouth and nothing came out.