The Missing Cat

Like that sorry interrupt you, but I'm sorry when you start I bring you a man well, I could say he is America's favorite comedian. Why not? Well tomorrow is Washington's birthday And as a tribute to Washington's memory. I'm going to tell the truth What he is is a matter of opinion, but here he is Fred Allen in person

Thank you and good evening ladies and gentlemen and congratulations Mr. Von Zell in the breaking the habit of a lifetime. I appreciate the sentiment that moves you to tell the truth Harry but it seems to me that you might have chosen another time and another place. I might say in fact I shall say on second thought

that you might have chosen another time in place to stop telling the truth. Oh well Oh, God, Fred, I said, tomorrow's Washington's birthday. Well, I know Harry, but you could observe it some other way than belittling me.

Well, I... You could get a hatchet and chop down a commercial. I'd say, if you could throw Van Steeden across the Potomac, you could observe it. Well, once the youth's New Jersey would only throw him right back.

That's right, too. And the air is bad enough without Van Steeden in it. Truth is all right in its place Harry, but do you know what would really happen if everyone on radio started to tell the truth?

You'd be back working in the Boston public library Ellen And What you told me to wait I waited And you'd be he's got one line in the whole show and he wants you to wait for his lap Yes, sir, and you Now, all you'll hear from him from now on is his arm goes up.