From Nipper To Nobody

The winner is presented with a beautiful cup. Tonight we bring you a mug who has nothing to do with the Vanderbilt cup. He is Fred Allen in person. Thank you. Thank you and good evening ladies and gentlemen.

Say I'm glad Harry that you were accidentally after rehearsing all day that you accidentally brought up the bridge tournament. I was over there Saturday night. The finish was really exciting, Harry. Was it noisy, Fred?

It was a good day. Noisy, Fred. It was a, a, a, a, a, oil bedlam. Oil bedlam, Harry. There was so much noise. A, a, oil bedlam. Oil bedlam, Harry. There was so much noise.

Two men who were playing chess in the corner of the room woke up. Oh, oh. Really? How long have the chess game been going on? Well, they must've been playing a long time. There was dust all over one guy's bishop.

And when the other fellow woke up, he said, to pack a road's opening tonight, I gotta get down there. The chances are great game. I'm going to go. Whoopee! Ahhh! Wait a minute. Wait a minute.

What is this rowdy van Steeden? You pee! What are you celebrating? Oh, tonight's my fifth anniversary, Harry. What? What anniversary? I've been on the program five years tonight, Alan. How about making a speech? Thank me over the air.

Well, for what? The fact that you have worked five years may be a tribute a tribute to your endurance, but it doesn't necessarily call for a eulogy. Would you say so? I don't think so.

No, look forward. Well, Jack Benny gives Phil Harris a plug on his anniversary, doesn't he? Oh, well, Phil. Benny pays off in honeyed phrases. He has to give plugs. Money to Benny is a word, an obsolete word.